March 2, 2022



A shopping trip by D.M. ANDERSONđź’€

During a recent excursion to my local Dollar Tree (correction, Dollar-and–a-Quarter Tree), I found these two beauties in the toy section. One would think for that extra 25 cents, they’d throw in a few appendages.

Exactly who are these things intended for? I dunno...maybe there’s a kid somewhere who likes the idea of pretending he’s Thanos, only this time the Avengers lose and he now keeps their dismembered torsos in his trophy case. Or maybe this is what Santa brings to Marvel fans who weren’t quite naughty enough to earn a lump of coal. Or maybe some parents are looking for a subtle way to inform little Johnny they just don’t love him that much anymore.

The box actually describes these things as paperweights, but even then…no arms? Was this an accident at the factory or was the guy who created them a Venus de Milo fanboy? Whatever the case, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on the racks of Dollar-and-a-Quarter Tree, and I’ve seen a lot (including ‘steaks’ cut thinner than toilet paper…which of course I bought anyway). 

Still, their faces are amusing. Thor seems understandably pissed, while Captain America looks like ain’t gonna let a few missing limbs keep him from owning the dance floor.

"It's on!"

Endgame's alternate ending.

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