SEMPER FI: One Bad Oyster

SEMPER FI (2019)

Starring Jai Courtney, Nat Wolff, Finn Wittrock, Beau Knapp, Arturo Castro, Leighton Castro. Directed by Henry-Alex Rubin. (99 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Tiger the Terrible😾

Semper Fi tries to be many things at once, but doesn’t really succeed at any of them.

It’s the story of five close-knit buddies who also serve in the Marine reserves. They have “cool” nicknames and spend most of their off-time together, bowling, bonding and drinking...lots of drinking. The de-facto leader is Cal (Jai Courtney), a cop whose younger brother, Oyster (Nat Wolff), is one felony away from going to prison, which is exactly what happens when he accidentally kills a man in a bar fight. Even though it was in self-defense, Oyster is sentenced to 25 years.

Meanwhile, the others are deployed to Iraq, where they – and the viewer – briefly experience the visceral horrors of war. Jaeger loses a limb and Cal shoots an unarmed man during a heated stand-off. Shortly afterwards, they all return to civilian life. Cal tries to make amends with Oyster, who’s still in prison and won’t forgive his older brother for turning him in. Cal suspects Oyster is being abused in prison and will die there if he doesn’t do something. After filing an appeal fails, Cal decides to try and break Oyster out. When his honor-bound friends volunteer to help, he hatches a plan that will utilize their military training as well as his police experience.

"Oh, yeah? Well, double-dumbass on you!"

If that sounds like a variation of The Deer Hunter with a prison break tossed in, you wouldn’t be too far off the mark, though the war segment in this one isn’t nearly as relevant to the narrative and feel like it belongs in another movie. Nor are any of these characters interesting enough to make their camaraderie all that engaging. We’ve seen them all before in better movies. And right from the get-go, Oyster is such an obnoxious, narcissistic jackass that it’s extremely difficult to for the viewer to generate any sympathy for him. Sure, Cal’s driven by guilt and a sense of brotherly love, but if these guys are willing to risk throwing their own lives away, shouldn’t the viewer at-least like the guy they’re trying to save? After all, didn’t Christopher Walken’s character earn our sympathies?

So despite a decent cast, Semper Fi lacks the characters necessary for a compelling depiction of honor, loyalty and brotherhood. Elsewhere, it tries to be a family drama, war film and action movie, but is too erratically paced and episodic for any of these elements to be fully engaging, exacerbated by a major character (Oyster) who displays zero redeeming qualities.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “Loyalty and Brotherhood: Making Semper Fi” (interviews with the director and main cast); “A Battle of Honor”

AUDIO COMMENTARY – By writer/director Henry-Alex Rubin

DELETED SCENES

DVD & DIGITAL COPIES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH. LIKE SHARING THE BED WITH THE DOG.

SAVAGE: A Snowy Stand-Off

SAVAGE (2018)

Starring Chen Chang, Ni Ni, Fan Liao, Jue Huang, Yicong Zhang, Hua Liu. Directed by Cui Siwei. (113 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM WELL GO USA

Review by Tiger the Terrible😼

Somewhere in this movie is a truly great thriller. But while Savage is certainly watchable, it’s marred by some unnecessary story elements and convoluted character development.

It starts off great, with a trio of bad guys who hijack a gold-carrying armored truck by causing a snowy avalanche. They shoot two cops on the way down the mountain, killing one of them. The other manages to get away.

At this point, one would reasonably expect a cat-and-mouse thriller, pitting a lone, outnumbered cop against heavily-armed killers. Instead, the story flashes forward a full year. Wang (Chen Chang) has physically recovered but still hasn’t gotten over the death of his partner, Han. Complicating matters is the fact both were once vying for the same woman, local doctor Sun Yan (Ni Ni). Guilt-ridden, Wang can’t bring himself to commit to her. This dynamic is of little interest and really only exists to put her in peril, because...

Never make snow angels in the road.

...it turns out the robbers didn’t take the gold off the mountain with them. I’m not certain why, since they had a truck that could do the job. Instead, they stashed it in the woods and have now returned to get it. Naturally, Wang is on-hand to try and stop them, as well as avenge his partner. What the narrative doesn’t need is Ni Ni driving up the mountain to find him during a massive blizzard, which eventually strands all of them in a snow lodge. The movie was doing just fine without her.

Still, it’s a tense little thriller at times, especially during the Reservoir Dogs-like stand-off in the lodge. It also makes great use of its snowbound locations, to the point the viewer can practically feel the cold. However, writer-director Cui Siwei seems uncertain what to do with his primary antagonist (Fan Liao). First, he’s a cold-blooded killer, then introspective and philosophical – even threatening to appear empathetic - before reverting back to being a cold-blooded killer. It’s as if Cui briefly tried to give him some complexity before second-guessing himself.

As it is, Savage is entertaining and suspenseful enough to warrant a watch, but the viewer has to wade through some irrelevance and plot contrivances to get to the good stuff. If Cui Siwei could have tightened things up a bit, he’d have a pretty damn good movie on his hands.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.

The One-Sided BATTLE OF LENINGRAD

BATTLE OF LENINGRAD (2019)

Starring Andrey Mironov-Udalov, Maria Melnikova, Gela Meskhi, Anastaisiya Melnikova, Valeriy Degtyar, Vitaliy Kishchenko. Directed by Aleksey Kozlov. (102 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM MPI MEDIA GROUP

Review by Tiger the Terrible😼

Battle of Leningrad – originally titled Saving Leningrad – is somewhat misleading. In fact, it’s more of a pummeling of Leningrad by the Nazis, while its civilians evacuate on leaky barges to escape across Lake Ladoga.

Most of the film takes place on Barge 752 during its perilous journey, with some manufactured melodrama from characters who are essentially plot devices (including a pampered pooch). The most contrived subplot is the main one, which has young soldier Kostya abandoning his squad to join his girlfriend, Nastya...on orders from his own father, a high ranking Russian colonel. Nastya considers him a deserter, while Kostya does nothing to advocate for himself. A Kremlin investigator, Vadim, is also on-board to repeatedly threaten both of them, because I guess the Nazis aren't enough bad guys.

When cruise ship shuffleboard turns deadly.

Even getting to that point takes awhile. Battle of Leningrad is pretty dull and aimless until then, serving up subplots and characters we assume will be of greater importance later on (though most aren’t). Once the barge sets off on its trip, however, things get more interesting. Not the characters, mind you, but it turns out the Nazis are aware of Russian plans to evacuate Leningrad and send fighter planes to attack the defenseless boats. Barge 752, already crippled by a violent storm, is a sitting duck.

The storm and aerial attack scenes pretty much save the movie. We may not care who lives or dies, but their peril looks and feels authentic, bolstered by fine editing and impressive visual effects. The same goes for the brief-but-intense skirmish between the Russian and Germans early in the story, which is suitably gritty and brutal.

While Battle of Leningrad is based on a tragic true event during World War II, the film is ironically at its most rousing when depicting death & destruction. That alone might make it worth checking out for war movie mongers, but none of its characters are compelling enough to create any emotional investment. Except maybe the dog.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW. 

THE FARE is...Fair

THE FARE (2018)

Starring Gino Anthony Pesi, Brinna Kelly, voice of Jason Stuart. Directed by D.C. Hamilton. (82 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM EPIC PICTURES

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😽

Harris (Gino Anthony Pesi) is a weary cabby driving a desolate stretch of road to pick up his last fare for the night, a young woman named Penny (Brinna Kenny). “Like the coin,” he says jokingly. Then after a few minutes of congenial small talk, she literally disappears.

Initially shaken, Harris resumes driving...on a desolate stretch of road to pick up his last fare for the night. Once again, it’s Penny (“Like the coin,” he jokes again). Their conversation is similar, though there’s something slightly different about their words and reactions. And once again, she disappears. The two relive the same scenario over and over, remembering more details from previous encounters (and growing closer each time). They appear to be trapped in some kind of temporal loop from which they can’t escape.

"It's not that I mind you sitting up front, lady. I just wish you'd have let me move my lunch first."

Playing very much like an extended Twilight Zone episode, The Fare is a small film with big ambitions and is clearly constructed to set up its big payoff, which is not-so-much a twist ending as an inevitable one, especially when it becomes obvious Harris & Penny are not reliving the same 20 minutes. Whether or not that revelation is worth the effort depends on the viewer’s patience. The film is often haunting and atmospheric, with likable performances by its two leads. However, it does grow a little repetitive during the middle act. One can’t help but think Rod Serling could have presented the same story in a fraction of the time.

But while the finale may not be jawdropping, at least it isn’t a red herring-laden suckerpunch. The Fare is visually and conceptually interesting enough to keep most viewers engaged, especially those who recall their middle school mythology lessons.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “The Look of The Fare”; “Secrets of The Fare” (screenwriter/actor Brinna Kelly spills the beans...don’t watch first!).

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - #1) Director D.C. Hamilton; #2) Screenwriter/producer/actor Brinna Kelly

"ALTERNATE REALITIES” - A montage of deleted/unused footage

"BEYOND FM” - Extended talk-radio sequence.

"FLASHBACK SCENE BREAKDOWN” - Storyboard to film comparison.

GAG REEL

ALTERNATE OPENING

TRAILERS

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.

THE BELLS OF ST. MARY’S: Bing Does Bing

THE BELLS OF ST. MARY’S (1945)

Starring Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman, Henry Travers, William Gargan, Ruth Donnelly, Joan Carroll, Rhys Williams. Directed by Leo McCarey. (126 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM OLIVE FILMS

Review by Mr. Paws😽

Yeah, everybody loves Bing Crosby. And yeah, he won an Oscar for his portrayal of Father O’Malley in Going My Way. Personally, I never thought he had much range. In everything I’ve ever seen, his characters simply seemed to be an extension of his own persona. While I don’t begrudge ol’ Bing for staying in his comfort zone, he certainly didn’t deserve another nomination for playing the same guy in The Bells of St. Mary’s.

Ingrid Bergman certainly deserved hers, though. One might argue she’s a bit too glamorous to play a nun, but she unarguably instills Sister Mary Benedict with enough complexity and pathos to be the most interesting character in the film. She serves as the primary foil to the more laid-back and unconventional O’Malley.

"Back at the convent, they called me Sister Whoopass."

Speaking of which, The Bells of St. Mary’s has little in the way of real conflict. An episodic film with no true villains, every crisis is efficiently resolved before the next one comes along. This includes the story’s major plot thread, where greedy businessman Horace P. Bogardus (Henry Travers) has his sights on buying the run-down old parish in order to tear it down and expand his construction. Even then, the overall tone is so consistently sweet it makes your typical episode of The Waltons look like American History X.

Still, it’s that same relentless congeniality that has endeared The Bells of St. Mary’s to so many, perhaps even more than Going My Way. While it features Bing at his Bingiest - meaning he croons a few classic numbers along the way – Bergman is the film’s heart and soul. Originally released on Blu-ray five years ago, Olive Films has given it a considerable upgrade with an impressive 4K restoration and a batch of great new bonus features. Classic film fans should be more than pleased.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “Faith and Film” (Sr. Rose Pacatte discusses the film’s plausibility from a nun’s perspective); “Human Nature” (Historian Steve Massa provides an overview of director Leo McCarey’s career); “Before Sequel-itis” (author Emily Carman discusses the rarity of big-budget sequels back then, making The Bells of St. Mary’s somewhat unprecedented).

AUDIO COMMENTARY – By Crosby biographer Gary Giddens.

2 RADIO ADAPTATIONS – From Screen Guild Theater, one from 1946, the other from 1947, each running about a half-hour.

ESSAY – Written by Abby Bender. Included in a supplementary booklet as well as the disc itself.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R. A BIT SUGARY FOR OUR TASTES, BUT AN UNDENIABLY GREAT DISC.

Blu-ray Giveaway: HUSTLERS

FREE KITTENS MOVIE GUIDE is giving away a Blu-ray copy of UNIVERSAL's HUSTLERS to a lucky reader.

Available on Blu-ray, DVD 12/10 

Inspired by the provocative true story about a crew of former strip club employees who turn the tables on their greedy Wall Street clients, HUSTLERS arrives on Digital November 26, 2019 and on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, DVD and On Demand December 10, 2019 from STX films and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Dazzling critics and audiences alike, the “fiercely funny” (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone) drama follows a band of business-savvy strippers as they unite to seek revenge in what critics are hailing as “one of the year’s best films” (Joey Nolfi, Entertainment Weekly). Inspired by journalist Jessica Pressler’s 2015 viral New York Magazine article “The Hustlers at Scores, HUSTLERS is filled with wildly entertaining and empowering moments from beginning to end and takes audiences behind the scenes of this inspiring real life con.

TO ENTER: Simply drop us a message at freekittensmovieguide@gmail.com. CONTEST ENDS 12/6.

Here Comes EEGAH!

EEGAH (1962)

Starring Arch Hall Jr, Marilyn Manning, Richard Kiel, Arch Hall Sr. Directed by Arch Hall Sr (as Nicholas Merriwether). (89 min).

ON BLU-RAY FROM

THE FILM DETECTIVE

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😼

For dedicated MSTies, Eegah needs no introduction. Featured on the original Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 1993, it remains one of the show’s more popular classic episodes.

The movie itself is a woefully-inept exercise in bargain basement nepotism. Character actor turned backwoods auteur Arch Hall Sr spent most of the ‘60s trying to turn his cherub-faced offspring, Arch Hall Jr, into a teen idol. That never happened, of course, and only Eegah himself, Richard Kiel, went on to do anything noteworthy.

It probably goes without saying that MST3K is the only reason Eegah is still remembered. Watching the film today, without Joel, Tom Servo & Crow riffing-along, seems unfathomable. The Film Detective gives us that very opportunity, though...with a 4K restoration, no less. But while the film looks and sounds better than it probably ever did, who the hell cares?

"Not funny, guys!"

The real treasures here are the bonus features, including the full MST3K episode, which marks the first time anything from the original series has ever been released on Blu-ray. While I personally don’t think it’s their greatest riff job – The Clonus Horror deserves that honor - this is where “Watch out for Snakes” became part of MSTie vernacular. Also included are individual interviews with MST3K’s Joel Hodgson and Arch Hall Jr himself. The latter offers some interesting production details and generally comes across as good-natured about Eegah’s dubious legacy.

This Blu-ray release Eegah is definitely one for the niche crowd. I can’t imagine anyone beyond the Hall family caring about the restoration, but MST3K fans will certainly want to snap this up. And quickly, too, since it’s limited to only 1,500 copies.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 VERSION (92 min)

INTERVIEW WITH ARCH HALL JR.

INTERVIEW WITH JOEL HODGSON

SUPPLEMENTAL BOOKLET – With an essay by The Film Detective’s Don Stradley.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS

Rest in Peace, Michael J. Pollard

Michael J. Pollard (1939-2019)

New Extended Scene From ONCE UPON A TIME IN...HOLLYWOOD

TAP RICK DALTON!

 

ONCE UPON A TIME IN...HOLLYWOOD
IS NOW AVAILABLE ON DIGITAL
AND WILL BE AVAILABLE ON
4K ULTRA HD™, BLU-RAY™ AND DVD DECEMBER 10

THE POOP SCOOP: Killer Apps, Killer Cats & a Killer Collection

VIEW THE TRAILER

COUNTDOWN Available on Digital 1/7 & Blu-ray and DVD 1/21

What if your phone could tell you when you’re going to die? Would you want to know? There’s a killer new app in COUNTDOWN, the terrifyingly original and inventive horror-thriller arrives on Digital, Blu-ray, DVD and On Demand. from STXfilms and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat, the “fun and thrilling” (Shannon McGrew, Nightmarish Conjurings) film follows a young nurse (Elizabeth Lail, “You”), who downloads an app that claims to predict exactly when a person is going to die. With only three days left to live and death closing in, she must find a way to save her life before time runs out. Combining “jump scares around every corner” (Kimber Myers, Los Angeles Times) and intense suspense, COUNTDOWN chronicles a frightening twist on the consequence of technology’s invasion of our lives. 

 

VIEW THE TRAILER

ABOMINABLE on Digital 12/3, and on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-Ray, DVD and On Demand 12/17

DreamWorks Animation and Pearl Studio’s co-production ABOMINABLE is a magical action-packed adventure for the whole family; with a 95% Audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, critics are calling this new animated classic “pure magic” (Dave Morales, Fox TV Houston). Yi, Everest and the gang come home just in time for the holidays on Digital, 4K Ultra HD, Blu-Ray, DVD and On Demand December 17, 2019 from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Boasting the biggest opening for an original animated film this year, ABOMINABLE is “an epic, colorful journey home. Beautiful and exhilarating to behold” (Glenn Kenny, The New York Times). The 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, DVD and Digital versions feature tons of fun bonus content including 2 original shorts, deleted scenes, and activities for the entire family to enjoy.

 

VIEW THE TRAILER

PRIMAL on Digital 12/31, and Blu-ray & DVD 1/7

Nick Cage vs. a Killer Cat on a boat? COUNT US IN! When Frank Walsh (Nicolas Cage), a hunter and collector of rare and exotic animals, bags a priceless white jaguar for a zoo, he figures it’ll be smooth sailing to a big payday. But the ship bearing Frank’s precious cargo has two predators caged in its hold: the cat, and a political assassin being extradited to the U.S. After the assassin breaks free – and then frees the jaguar – Frank feverishly stalks the ship’s cramped corridors in hot pursuit of his prey, right up until the thrilling, unpredictable climax. 

 

BEVERLY HILLS COP TRILOGY on Blu-ray 1/14

All three films together on Blu-ray for the first time, newly remastered from new 4K transfers. Celebrating its 35th anniversary, the comedy classic BEVERLY HILLS COP stars Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley, a street-smart cop from Detroit. Tracking down his best friend's killer in Beverly Hills, Axel smashes through the local barriers in a hilarious, high-speed pursuit of justice. In BEVERLY HILLS COP II, Eddie Murphy returns as Axel goes deep undercover to investigate a gang of international munitions smugglers and in BEVERLY HILLS COP III Axel investigates a counterfeit money ring, run out of a theme park in Los Angeles. The BEVERLY HILLS COP Blu-ray boasts brand new special features, including never-before-seen deleted scenes, new behind-the-scenes featurettes incorporating vintage 1984 interviews, an isolated audio track of the original score by Harold Faltermeyer and “BHC Mixtape ‘84”, which allows viewers to go directly to the scenes featuring the hit songs.