I currently live with two cats, Pepper and Mr. Bonnie. Notice I didn’t say I have cats, because that would imply ownership. For as long as I’ve been alive, there have always been one-or-more cats in the house, and not once did I feet like I “owned” any of them. They’re more like freeloading roommates who never pay their share of the rent…unless you count the dead things they’d sometimes bring home.
But when Pepper and Mr. Bonnie moved in, we decided they should strictly be indoor cats (too many coyotes in the neighborhood), so they aren't afforded the same hunting opportunities as previous tenants. Still, one of them did recently manage to kill a small mouse that was also living rent-free in the house. I’m grateful, of course, but sure wish I wouldn’t have discovered their handiwork with my bare feet. Thus far, neither cat has claimed credit for the kill, but my money is on Pepper because she watches a lot more television.
While they don’t go outside, they are aware of the outside. Both enjoy sitting in the living room window to watch the neighborhood, but it’s Pepper who gets “the chatters” wherever a bird lands in the yard, her tail whipping furiously. Additionally, she’s the first cat I’ve ever lived with who’s demonstrated an active interest in TV. Depending on what’s happening onscreen, she’ll often jump onto the TV stand and swat at whatever is moving. One of the few downsides of high definition, I guess.
Pepper’s favorites are various YouTube videos made for the sole purpose of entertaining cats. Typically, they consist of birds or squirrels lured before the camera by food piled in a wooded area. These critters scurrying in and out of frame drive Pepper nuts, and though it’s kinda funny, I try not to encourage it too much because I just know the day is coming when I discover claw marks raked across my expensive 55” HD screen. It’s even gotten so Pepper sometimes comes running into the room when she hears the YouTube app intro music, ready to hunt.
TV and movies are nothing if not educational. If Star Trek can show me how to prevent a warp core explosion, it sure as hell can educate my cat on the wondrous wildlife in the world just begging to be disemboweled. But really, most anything featuring a lot of quick or sudden movement can hold her attention for a minute or two, such as hockey games, Looney Tunes and the occasional action movie, which is why I was initially perplexed that she appeared so keenly engaged in the movie, Stalker.
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| "Sorry guys...I could've sworn it was Ladies' Night." |
But Solaris is a Michael Bay film compared to Stalker, which moves along at the speed of an oil painting. In fact, it often looks like an oil painting, the work of a tortured artist who starts their mornings with coffee, toast and suicidal thoughts. There are no special effects or action scenes, and nothing but some expositional dialogue to suggest it’s even science-fiction. If you were to watch it with the sound off (and sometimes you’ll feel like you already are), it’s just three stone-faced guys walking for two-and-a-half hours.
Those three stone-faced guys are the “Stalker” (Alexander Kaidanovsky), the “Writer” (Anatoly Solonitsyn) and the “Professor” (Nikolai Grinko). Stalkers hire themselves out to illegally escort people into a quarantined, fenced-off area known as “The Zone,” which has been rendered off-limits after an unexplained phenomenon occurred there 20 years earlier. Whether it was a meteor or something sentient (it's never made explicit), the area is now an unpopulated wilderness of forests, fields and ruins. Also within The Zone is a room where, upon entering, your innermost desires come true (for better or worse).
Though he just recently got out of prison for previously entering The Zone, the Stalker agrees to take the Writer and the Professor there and guide them to the room, much to the chagrin of his wife, once-again left alone to look after their daughter. However, they really need the money.
The Stalker informs his new clients that The Zone is a dangerous place, and potentially fatal if they don’t follow his explicit instructions during the journey. As he gravely warns, “The Zone is a very complicated system of traps, and they're all deadly. I don't know what's going on here in the absence of people, but the moment someone shows up, everything comes into motion. Old traps disappear and new ones emerge. Safe spots become impassable. Now your path is easy, now it's hopelessly involved. That's the Zone. It may even seem capricious. But it is what we've made it with our condition. It happened that people had to stop halfway and go back. Some of them even died on the very threshold of the room.”
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| "I can't escape the feeling we're being watched." |
Sure, Rod Serling probably could’ve told the same basic story in about a half-hour, but despite its epic length and glacial pace, Stalker is an immersive film that kind-of sucks you in with its beautifully bleak aesthetic, extended takes, nearly-imperceptible camera movement and the quiet desperation exhibited by these men. And as it turns out, there’s actually a hell of a lot at stake during the climax, as well as a WTF denouement that makes you wonder what the hell you just watched…if you can even get that far…
…which I barely managed when I first watched it. Stalker was recommended to me by a guy I sometimes do podcasts with, whose tastes are somewhat eclectic. When the end credits finally rolled, my initial thought was that it was marginally more interesting than watching an old TV test pattern for the same amount of time. But damn, if I didn’t think about the movie a lot afterwards…the imagery, the movement, the underlying themes and (especially) the resolution. So I bought a physical copy and have since watched it a handful of times, finding it very rewarding. Sure, I sometimes nod-off, but that’s another one of the cool things about the film. Even if one doesn’t necessarily care about the story or characters, it’s an agreeable movie just for the overall vibe.
Recently revisiting the film, I was about an hour into it when I noticed Pepper watching, too. She was sitting on the floor, about three feet from the TV, tale twitching during a scene where the three main characters are making their way through a field. Shot from a distance, they appeared very small among the grass, but their movement had Pepper’s complete attention. In fact, she jumped onto the TV stand and swatted at them. Perhaps she thought it was a bug on the screen (she likes those, too).
However, after that particular scene ended, Pepper returned to her spot on the floor and continued watching…for nearly 20 minutes (which is about 15 minutes longer than some of you might commit to the movie). What was it about Stalker that was keeping her attention? Since she never liked subtitles, it couldn’t have been the plot, and it wasn’t like the screen was teeming with birds or squirrels.
Then it occurred to me…visually, much of Stalker actually resembles a lot of the YouTube videos that rile her up...minus the animals. Even the film’s ambient sound design is similar on occasion…wind, trickling water, footsteps crunching the ground, etc. Maybe she was waiting for some critters to scurry into frame, just like they do in those videos, which would be her reward for patiently enduring three bald guys contemplating their lives.
Eventually though, she finally had enough, her attention suddenly diverted by Mr. Bonnie, who sauntered into the room and tackled her. Then the battle was on, the two rolling around on the floor for a few seconds, hind legs furiously kicking at each other, before bolting upstairs to zoom around the living room. Stalker may be one of those rare films that manages to be both a masterpiece and a sleep aid, but it can’t beat the frisky fun of scrapping with your bro.
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