BEAST OF WAR: A Solid Slab of Sharksploitation

BEAST OF WAR (Blu-ray)

2025 / 87 min

Well Go USA

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Bigger Boat😸

Ah…another day, another low budget shark movie.

I generally don’t mind reviewing these things, because even the bad ones (which is most of ‘em) are usually good for a few shits & giggles, often at their own expense. And like many of you, I never go in expecting another Jaws because that’s never gonna happen.

Beast of War hails from Australia and purports to be “based on a true story.” Fans of ferocious fish probably don’t care how much of the “true” part ends up in the movie, as long as there’s plenty of shark action, which this one eventually serves up in abundance.

I say eventually because the first act takes time to introduce its main characters. Set during World War II, a squad of new recruits are training for an upcoming mission. Leo (David Coles Smith) is an indigenous Australian haunted by a past tragedy involving a shark, Will (Joel Nankervis) is a smart but inexperienced young man who Leo takes under his wing, and Des (Sam Delich) is a racist, self-aggrandizing bully. Though other characters mostly exist to be fish food, the narrative does an excellent job fleshing out these three, assuring that we’re invested in their survival…or horrible deaths. 

A Farewell to Arm.

On the way to the mission, the troop’s ship is torpedoed by Japanese forces and sinks, stranding a half-dozen survivors on a slab of debris in the middle of the Pacific. They have little food and no fresh water, but their more immediate concern lurks under the surface: a great white shark that might just be the hungriest fish in movie history, relentlessly stalking these guys and putting the bitedown on anyone unfortunate enough to end up in the water.

Because bad shark movies far outweigh the good ones, I kept waiting for Beast of War to descend into silliness or stupidity, but it never does. Though there are lapses in plausibility, it was around the halfway point that I found myself thinking, Hey, this is actually pretty good. Sometimes really good, in fact. In addition to engaging characters and decent overall performances, writer-director Kiah Roache-Turner manages to create plenty of tension and atmosphere despite obvious budgetary limitations. Best of all, this one doesn’t appear to rely too much on CGI. The shark isn’t always convincing, but at least we feel it’s physically sharing the screen with the cast. Additionally, the attack scenes are brutal and bloody, punctuated by pretty realistic gore effects. 

I don’t know much much of this true story is actually true, nor do I care. What ultimately matters is that Beast of War is a surprisingly solid slab of sharksploitation. Running a lean 87 minutes, it benefits from a brisk pace, and other than an amusing aside depicting how these guys manage to solve their thirst problem, a mostly serious approach to its premise.

THE LONG WALK and the Long Wait

THE LONG WALK (Blu-ray)

2025 / 108 min

Lionsgate

Review by Princess Pepper😸

As a Stephen King fan most of my life, I’ve been waiting for a movie adaptation of The Long Walk for nearly as long. But I’ve also learned to temper my expectations over the years, since there have been plenty of great King stories that ended up being disappointing (and sometimes terrible) films. 

That being said, it was still hard not to get revved up over this one. Not only did the film have a decades-long, on-again-off-again production history, it’s been my view that most of the best King adaptations have been those that are not based on one of his horror novels. Though frequently horrifying, The Long Walk is not a horror story, but often labeled as such because of the author’s reputation. 

Fortunately - and at long last - the film does not disappoint. As directed by Francis Lawrence from a screenplay by JT Mollner, The Long Walk is not-only the best film either of these guys have been involved with, it’s one of the better King adaptations of the past 20 years. Most importantly, this feels like Stephen King, not just because of its general faithfulness to the novel, but in the grim tone, anti-authoritarian themes prevalent in much of his work, and well-drawn cast of characters.

The basic story is simple: In an alternate dystopian America, one young man from each state is selected by lottery to participate in the titular event, an annual competition in which everyone commences walking and do not stop until only one remains. Anybody falling below three miles per hour is given three warnings to pick up the pace before being shot. Overseeing the event is The Major (Mark Hamill), an enigmatic symbol of the totalitarian regime the country has become since an unspecified war has rendered it into a permanent state of economic depression.

The walk itself comprises a majority of the narrative, presented from the point-of-view of its competitors, primarily Ray Garraty (Cooper Hoffman) and Pete McVries (David Jonsson), who quickly develop a close bond. Along the way, other participants are introduced, as well as their motivation in volunteering for a competition that’ll likely result in their deaths. For most of these characters, it’s the prize that awaits the winner…massive wealth and the granting of any single wish they want. But some others, like the main protagonists, have more esoteric reasons.

Worst. Parade. Ever.

The concept alone has always been morbidly compelling, which is vividly depicted onscreen. Not only is the film extremely violent, it becomes vicariously exhausting as the walk drags on for hundreds of miles and the attrition grows. But what makes it a truly harrowing journey is the assortment of engaging characters. As friendships develop and more is revealed about each of them (for better and worse) we become emotionally invested in their fates. This is especially true regarding Ray and Pete, whose relationship develops into brotherly love…even as they realize one or both of them are certain to die. Bolstered by strong performances from Hoffman and Jonsson, their brief friendship as endearing as Red and Andy’s in The Shawshank Redemption, or perhaps more accurately, Gordie and Chris’ in Stand by Me.

Though there’s occasional levity and inspirational moments, The Long Walk is relentlessly downbeat, exacerbated by the characters’ desperation and brutal death scenes that are sometimes tough to watch, as well as the hauntingly sparse rural landscape through which they’re walking. Speaking of which, the film’s production design is unusual for a dystopian film, with vehicles, signage and houses that appear lifted from the 1960s. At the same time, there’s technology shown that didn’t exist back then, so we’re never certain exactly when this story takes place. Such aesthetic ambiguity is a neat creative touch, and along with excellent cinematography, it keeps things visually interesting.

Then there’s that ending, which takes a significant detour from the original novel. It isn’t better or worse than what King came up with, but certainly unexpected and I suppose some fans of the book might balk at the new climax. Beyond that, however, The Long Walk is a beautifully bleak and brutal adaptation that stays true to the spirit of its source material. Some of us waited a long time for this one, but it was worth it.

EXTRA KIBBLES

EVER ONWARD: MAKING THE LONG WALK - This is an excellent 75 minute making of documentary with plenty of behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with most of the cast & crew.

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DIGITAL COPY

TOGETHER Sticks With You

TOGETHER (Blu-ray)

2025 / 102 min

Neon

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

2025 has been a pretty damn good year for horror. Not just good horror, but original horror made by directors who appear to have more on their minds than just cheap thrills. Even Final Destination: Bloodlines reflected a lot more creativity than was probably required. 

Michael Shanks’ feature debut, Together, is another example. On the heels of last year’s The Substance comes another vivid foray into body horror. While it never reaches the same gruesome heights (or depths, depending on one’s tolerance for this sort of thing), the film boasts a bizarre premise, convincing performances and smart writing that also explores the complexities of modern relationships…especially troubled ones. And of course, it features plenty of butt-puckering visual nastiness.

Real life couple Alison Brie and Dave Franco play Millie and Tim. Outwardly congenial, they are experiencing something of a relationship crisis. When she takes a teaching job in a small town, they move from the city into a remote old house. While walking in the woods, they become trapped overnight in a cave, where Tim drinks some of the water. After emerging, Tim finds himself increasingly drawn to her…physically, as depicted through progressively unnerving scenes in which they’re literally stuck together. 

"We'll be okay. I brought fire."

It turns out the town and surrounding woods have a dark past, which is directly related to another couple that previous went missing and were never found, which I won’t spoil with elaboration. However, it does explain why (and how) Millie and Tim become literally unable to stay apart (rendered by wonderfully icky make-up effects). The plot is actually pretty simple, but made a little more complex through the couple’s growing estrangement, sometimes exacerbated by their dire predicament.

The film culminates with a wild finale that, considering the protagonists’ relationship, seems inevitable, but comes as sort of a surprise anyway. I guess whether or not it’s a happy ending depends on the viewer’s investment in these characters, though it sure is a haunting one. In a year that’s given us a lot of great, original horror, I wouldn’t rank Together up there with Weapons, Bring Her Back or Sinners, but it’s well worth seeing…probably more than once.

EXTRA KIBBLES

INTERVIEWS  - Individual interviews with writer/director Michael Shanks and Alison Brie & Dave Franco.

ALISON BRIE & DAVE FRANCO’S CODEPENDENCY TEST - The two stars take a quiz together.

TRAILERS

PRISONER OF WAR: Scott Adkins, the Pizza Man

PRISONER OF WAR (Blu-ray)

2025 / 113 min

Well Go USA

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Brawler😼

My wife works a couple of evenings a week, and on those days, I am tasked with making dinner. Being the creative culinary Jedi that I am, that means we’re having frozen pizza on Thursdays. It may not be as delicious as some of the fancier pizzerias in town, but it’s cheap, easy and does its job of tasting more or less like a pizza.

When it comes to action movies, Scott Adkins is kinda like the guy who actually makes the pizzas we passively consume once a week. There’s nothing particularly outstanding or memorable about the B-movie brawls he stars in, but more often than not, you can count on them doing the job of serving-up perfunctory action, violence and, of course, Adkins' considerable martial arts skills. 

For Prisoner of War, the title and cover art tells all, just as the photo on that pizza box shows what it’s supposed look like once it's heated up. Here, Adkins plays British WWII fighter pilot James Wright, who gets shot down and ends up in a Japanese prison camp run by sadistic colonel Benjiro Ito (Peter Shinkoda). But instead of executing him - though he threatens to daily - Ito repeatedly forces Wright to fight other Japanese soldiers. Unsurprisingly, Wright whips their asses every time.

This pizza man delivers...pain.

Meanwhile, Wright hatches an escape plan with his fellow POWs, some of whom are provided personalities, but this is mostly just the Scott Adkins show. That oughta suit his fans just fine, who’d probably be just as happy if the film had him fighting his way out of a staff meeting that could’ve been an email. And unlike some of his direct-to-video contemporaries, Adkins is a fairly decent actor, so when not snapping limbs, at least he’s capable of delivering his lines without making the viewer cringe.

Prisoners of War runs a little longer than necessary, especially with a superfluous prologue and epilogue. But for the most part, it delivers exactly what you’d expect from a Scott Adkins fightfest. Like the frozen pizza I heat up for the family every Thursday, we won’t give it another thought afterwards, but it’s adequately satisfying in the moment.

THE DAY OF THE JACKAL - SEASON ONE: Keep An Open Mind

THE DAY OF THE JACKAL - SEASON ONE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 533 min

Universal

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Carl, the Couch Potato😺

For this writer, 1973’s The Day of the Jackal ranks among the greatest thrillers ever made, one of those rare films that’s structurally perfect and leaves zero room for improvement. But I like to remain open minded, and conceptually, the basic premise of the film is certainly conducive to other interpretations without necessarily drawing unfair comparisons. I enjoyed 1998’s The Jackal, the one with Bruce Willis and Richard Gere, on its own terms. While some scenes alluded to the original, there were enough narrative and character changes that it was more of a reimagining than a remake.

But a television series? While trying once again to remain open minded, I couldn’t imagine any episodic adaptation of the original movie or Frederick Forsyth’s novel without significantly padding things out or completely rethinking the basic narrative structure. And sure enough, the ten episodes of Season One (with a second one on the way), stretch themselves pretty thin at times. However, certain aspects of the show are excellent.

In this one, the notorious assassin known as The Jackal (Eddie Redmayne) is hired by an organization to kill hotshot tech billionaire Ulle Dag Charles (Khalid Abdalla) before he launches River, a powerful program that’ll render finances worldwide transparent. The series, however, opens with Jackal’s first kill, the assassination of a German politician. This gets British MI6 agent Bianca Pullman (Lashana Lynch) involved in hunting for the guy capable of such a seemingly impossible shot before he can do it again. 

That’s the basic overall story, the narrative shifting back and forth between The Jackal’s meticulous planning and Bianca’s relentless determination to identify and catch him. When focused on this, as well as an internal MI6 mole hunt, the show really crackles. While updating the basic premise with different characters and a more contemporarily relevant target, there are still plenty of elements and homages to the 1973 film that are pulled off quite nicely. In fact, Redmayne appears to use Edward Fox’s steely performance in the original as the foundation for his own. He succeeds quite well, exuding understated menace. There are moments when he even resembles Fox.

"I came here to feed the pigeons, and you're scaring them away."

However, a major part of what has always made The Jackal such an intriguing character (in all previous versions) was that little was ever revealed about him beyond his methods and ruthlessness. He remained a nameless enigma, which added to his mystique. But here, not only does the story give him a past (a former military sniper), this Jackal also has a wife, Nuria (Ursula Corbero), a kid and annoying in-laws, all of whom are part of a subplot where his domestic bliss is threatened when Nuria realizes he’s been leading a double life. 

This additional exposition and character development ultimately renders The Jackal more vulnerable, even fallible, and therefore less menacing. It also tends to stall the show’s momentum, as do superfluous scenes depicting how Bianca’s obsession with her job adversely affects her own family life. I understand why both main characters have been fleshed out for the sake of a series, and there are probably plenty of viewers out there who will appreciate the additional melodrama. But these elements are never as engaging as the primary story, which is compelling, increasingly complex and often surprising.

I’m still not sure I like how Season One ends, with a finale that seems more concerned with setting up a second season than satisfactorily wrapping things up. But despite some initial misgivings, The Day of the Jackal works better as a series than I initially thought it would. When staying on-point, the show’s a lot of fun, with good action sequences, some jarring violence and a solid portrayal of the title character by Redmayne. As for those who revere the original film, it helps to stay open minded.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Melon Scene Breakdown is a piece that showcases one of several homages to the original film; Becoming the Jackal is an interview with Eddie Redmayne; Becoming Bianca is an interview by Lashana Lynch.

Catnip Reviews: THE MASK (4K), MS. 45 (4K) and 7 SINS

Snack-sized opinions from the frisky felines at Free Kittens…

THE MASK Limited Edition (4K UHD) - If Ace Ventura: Pet Detective established Jim Carrey as a bankable star, The Mask cemented it. Back then, his brand of over-the-top, rubber-faced comedy was either endearing or obnoxious, depending on the viewer. Either way, this film certainly showcased his ability to become a living cartoon (with considerable help from FX and make-up artists, of course). But if you squint hard enough, beyond the kinetic comic mayhem are traces of the range Carrey would display in later films. Still, his physical performance is the most memorable aspect of The Mask, which remains an amusing hybrid…part slapstick comedy, part musical, part horror, with maybe even a bit superheroism tossed in. On the other side of the camera, this may not be director Chuck Russell’s best movie (I think The Blob gets that honor), but it’s arguably his best looking movie. Arrow’s 4K release features a great restoration and comes with plenty of new and archival bonus features. A must-own for Jim Carrey fans. (1994/101 min/Arrow Video). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼😼😼

MS. 45 Limited Edition (4K UHD) - Though his headspace appears to have found permanent residence in the ether these days, there was once a time when New York’s nuttiest auteur, Abel Ferrara, enjoyed pushing people’s buttons with provocative exploitation (sometimes with a side order of Catholic guilt). Of those early films, Ms. 45 is probably his most entertaining, though still tough to watch on occasion. Drawing obvious inspiration from the likes of Death Wish, the story of mute teenager Thana (Zoe Tamerlis) going on revenge-fueled killing spree after being raped (twice in one day) is a tidy piece of catharsis. In addition to a 4K transfer that nicely preserves the film’s grimy aesthetic, the disc features a decent selection of new and archival bonus material.  (1981/80 min/Arrow Video). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😺😺😺

7 SINS (DVD) - This is a low budget anthology film with seven different directors serving up their own takes on the Seven Deadly Sins. Like others of its ilk, consistency is an issue, though one common thread is an overall air of arty pretentiousness coupled with obvious attempts to shock and repulse the viewer. Some stories are incomprehensible, others are narratively straightforward, but all of them wallow in visual depravity, including plenty of wince-inducing violence (some of it sexualized). Would be thrillseekers might get a kick out of these directors’ efforts to push the envelope of good taste, but overall, 7 Sins is more of an exercise in self-indulgence masquerading as a horror film. (2020/93 min/IndiePix). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼

OUTLAND and RED PLANET in 4K: Arrow Goes to Space

OUTLAND and RED PLANET (4K UHD)

Arrow Video

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Butt Nugget😸

In addition to taking place in the near future on distant worlds, these two films have something else in common: We here at Free Kittens feel they remain underappreciated and undeservedly forgotten (at least compared to other sci-fi films of their eras). But Arrow Video does right by both titles with a couple of new 4K editions.

Sean gets sassy.

OUTLAND (1981/109 min) - I always hated the term, “lost classic,” because it’s basically an oxymoron. But if I were to ever use it, 1981’s Outland would certainly make the list. This is gritty, violent, adult sci-fi that’s often been called High Noon in space. Sean Connery plays a weary law-enforcer assigned to keep the peace on a mining colony on Io, one of Jupiter’s moons...only nobody really wants him to enforce the law. This becomes clear after several miners go apeshit and kill themselves due to their addiction to a synthetic drug created to boost production, but the powers-that-be (led by Peter Boyle) send assassins to kill Connery. 

Outland is similar to Alien in look and tone, but essentially a cop drama that happens to be set in outer space. Like a lot of equally-underrated movies written and directed by Peter Hyams, it's fun, fast-paced junk food with decent special effects, witty dialogue and well-conceived characters. It also features a terrifically understated performance by Connery.

I’m of the opinion that Hyams has never really gotten the accolades or respect he deserves. But in addition to the outstanding 4K restoration, this set boasts bonus features that spotlight his quietly impressive film career (including a great interview where we hear it from the horse’s mouth). Other material includes a few commentaries (one that’s new), a critical analysis and an interview with the FX supervisor who discusses the process known as “Introvision,” which was new and innovative at the time. However, whoever designed that godawful new slipcover deserves to be fired.

EXTRA KIBBLES

INTERVIEWS - A Corridor of Accidents is an excellent 50-minute interview with writer/director/cinematographer Peter Hyams, who discusses his career from his beginnings through the early ‘80s. This is easily the best of the bonus features; Introvision: William Mesa on Outland features the FX artist discussing his use of Introvision; Outlandish is an interview with cinematographer Stephen Goldblatt, who’s candid about his mostly symbolic film credit.

NO PLACE FOR HEROES - This is a visual essay by Josh Nelson, who goes into detail about Outland being a western (not really all that revelatory, since most of us already knew that).

HOLLYWOODLAND OUTLAND - A visual essay about Peter Hyams, by Howard S. Berger.

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By Peter Hyams; 2) By critic Chris Alexander.

2 TRAILERS

IMAGE GALLERY - Mostly stills from the film, with a bit of promotional artwork.

"Based on what I just stepped in, I think a dog beat us here."

RED PLANET (2000/106 min) - This was a critical and box office bomb back in 2000, which also contributed to Val Kilmer’s freefall as a bankable leading man. Further sealing its fate was another sci-fi film released just a few months earlier (Mission to Mars) that was conceptually similar. While Brian De Palma would go on to find more work (sort of), Red Planet remains director Atony Hoffman’s only film. 

But it ain’t that bad. Sure, the thing’s got its share of narrative issues, such as waaay too much upfront exposition offered by voice-over narration, and perhaps more plot than the film actually needs. In the future, Earth is slowly dying, so efforts are being made to terraform Mars by growing oxygen-producing algae. But when the experiment begins to fail, a mission is sent to investigate. However, a solar flare damages the ship, so most of the crew are trapped on the surface and running out of air.

You could actually jettison most of the Earth-in-peril stuff and still have a fairly gripping survival tale. In addition to suffocation, the landing partly must deal with a scary-ass rogue robot that’s turned homicidal and is hunting them down. Those scenes are pretty cool, but sometimes undermined by the episodic nature of the story, which presents one new crisis after another. Still, the performances and cast are decent (including Kilmer, Carrie-Anne Moss, Tom Sizemore and Benjamin Bratt), while the special effects and production design are excellent. If nothing else, this is a great looking film that’s been nicely restored on 4K and comes with a smattering of bonus features.

EXTRA KIBBLES

INTERVIEWS - The Martian Chronicles is an interview with FX supervisor Jeffrey A. Okun; Suit Up is an interview with helmet & suit designer Steve Johnson.

ANGRY RED PLANET - A visual retrospective by critic Heath Holland, who discusses the good and bad aspects of the film.

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