May 13, 2018

WORLD WITHOUT END and the Marlboro Men
Starring Hugh Marlowe, Nancy Gates, Nelson Leigh, Rod Taylor, Shawn Smith, Lisa Montell, Christopher Dark. Directed by Edward Bernds. (1956/80 min).


Review by Mr. Paws😸

Why doesn't this stuff ever happen to me?

Four astronauts returning from Mars get caught in a time warp and crash-land on Earth 500 years in the future. Everyone they ever knew died centuries earlier and returning to their own time is impossible. Worse yet, Earth is post-apocalyptic wasteland, the result of a nuclear war. The few humans left dwell underground to avoid tribes of murderous mutants who roam the surface.

On the plus side, the women of 2508 are long-legged beauties in mini-skirts and stiletto heels. The astronauts may have been sliderule-toting nerds in the old world, but since the males of the future are all hopeless wimps, these guys are suddenly the fucking Marlboro men, guns blazing and ready for love...after saving what's left of the human race, of course.

They got lost on the way to the Hogan's Heroes convention.
When the likes of leggy & luscious Nancy Gates is willing to throw herself at Hugh Marlowe (who's always resembled a high school science teacher), this place obviously has the potential to be a utopia. All they gotta do is dispatch the butt-ugly mutants on the surface, along with the occasional giant spider. This is a bit easier said than done. The babes are on-board, and with Rod Taylor parading around shirtless, who can blame them? However, the emasculated males of the population need more convincing, not-to-mention learning how to man-up by making explosives.

"Do I know how to build a bazooka? Lady, I am a bazooka, if you know what I mean."
World Without End could only have been made in the fifties, when men were men, women were mannequins and giant spiders looked like they were made at Build-a-Bear. And not once does it occur to anybody that reintroducing weapons to a society that has learned to live without them - because they already destroyed civilization once - might start the whole vicious cycle over again. On the other hand, the NRA could use the movie to promote the societal benefits of good guys with guns.

In other words, World Without End is a total hoot from beginning to end. It's an endearingly silly film that plays like a budget-conscious mash-up of The Magnificent Seven and H.G. Well's The Time Machine (in fact, Wells' estate threatened to sue the studio). Somewhat remarkably, this was filmed in CinemaScope, which was usually reserved for more respectable epics. Folks who fancy fine film feta are highly encouraged to seek out this forgotten flick.