June 24, 2016


Starring Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Bruce Willis, Claire Forlani, John Brotherton, Lydia Hull, Daniel Bernhardt, Ashley Kirk. Directed by Max Adams. (2016, 90 min). 


Remember when Bruce Willis was a badass mofo? Sure, he occasionally tried demonstrate his thespian versatility over the years, but for the most part, he was synonymous with A-list asskicking. While age inevitably catches up with all of us, that’s no excuse to continue tarnishing your legacy by saying yes to every potential payday, which Willis has done a lot lately.

Precious Cargo is just the latest of many recent low-rent, nearly-straight-to-video action pictures where it’s obvious Willis put in a few days’ work for top billing, lending what’s left of his good name to boost its marquee value. In reality, despite being the film’s primary villain, Willis’ total screen time is about 15 minutes, and it’s worth noting that he’s the only member of the primary cast who doesn’t appear in any of the promotional bonus features included on this disc. He knew what he was doing.

The movie mostly belongs to Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who first gained fame on Saved by the Bell) as Jack, a professional thief whose former lover/partner Karen (Claire Forlani) has gotten in over her head by committing a high stakes robbery originally masterminded by crime boss Eddie (Willis). Now Karen needs Jack’s help with another heist, not only to get rich, but to pay off Eddie and stay alive. Even though Jack has a shitload of good reasons not to trust her, he reluctantly assembles the usual motley crew of misfits to do the job.

Bruce Willis gets a look at his latest paycheck.

The film tries for a light tone, and admittedly, some of it is occasionally amusing, but we’re forced to swallow a lot of implausibilities and idiotic dialogue along the way. The action itself is of the straight-to-video variety...competent, though nothing especially thrilling or original, which also could apply to the movie in general. Then there’s Willis, literally phoning-it-in half the time and uttering his lines like he’s doing everyone a favor by showing up. Say what you will about Stallone’s and Schwarzenegger’s recent output, at least we’re convinced they’re trying.

Precious Cargo is marginally passable entertainment on a dull evening, but it's ultimately destined to fill Wal-Mart's budget bin within a few months. Another blight on Bruce Willis' increasingly questionable resume, it prompts one to question if the guy even cares about anything but a paycheck anymore.


  • Making-of Featurette
  • Cast/crew Interviews
  • Digital Copy


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