June 3, 2013

Top 10 Meaningless Movie Titles

1. RESERVOIR DOGS - Quentin Tarantino himself has said the title is meaningless. He just thought it sounded cool. And it does.

2. THE PINK PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN - In the original film (as well as Return of the Pink Panther), the Pink Panther is the name a precious diamond stolen by a jewel thief. The plot of this installment has Clouseau's superior, Dreyfus, going insane and threatening the world if Clouseau isn't assassinated. The title is simply a brand name at this point, but it is one of the funniest films in the series.

Mark Wahlberg must have taken a wrong turn
at Albuquerque.
3. THE ITALIAN JOB (remake) - Unlike the original, aside from the opening scene, the entire film takes place in Los Angeles.

4. STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS - Great movie, stupid title, making it sound like an intergalactic Joseph Conrad novel. Since the subtitle, Into Darkness, has nothing to do with the story, one might understandably assume it's related to the film's tone. But that would be wrong, too, since this is the most rollicking film in the franchise since The Wrath of Khan (and verrrrry similar).

5. THE NEVER-ENDING STORY - It ended, didn't it?

"I could sure use Harry's wand right about now."
6. SORCERER - This remake of The Wages of Fear is about a group of desperate lowlifes accepting a suicide mission to deliver unstable explosives through the South American jungle in hopes of a big payday. The movie's misleading title is taken from one of the battered old trucks they use, its name glimpsed onscreen for a second or two.

7. I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER - The original film took place a year after a group of teenagers covered up a death they were responsible for. This idiotic sequel takes place a year after that, meaning the correct title should have been I Know What You Did Two Summers Ago.

8. THE LAST EXORCISM 2 - I guess the exorcism in the last film wasn't the last. Maybe that one should have been titled The Exorcism. This one could be called The Second Exorcism. The next one could be called The Third Exorcism, saving the 'last' moniker for the inevitable straight-to-DVD 'final chapter.'

"Wait a sec...I've never been to China!"
9. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (remake) - The original 1962 film had American POWs being brainwashed into becoming assassins by communists in Manchuria, China. The soldiers in the 2004 remake are captured during Persian Gulf war, and their isn't a single Asian to be seen.

10. LAKE PLACID - The lake featured in this movie is not the real Lake Placid, and one of the characters even tells us so.

No comments: