April 15, 2016

DVD Review: BIGFOOT VS. ZOMBIES

Starring Dave Fife, Danielle Donahue, Jeff Kirkendall, James Carolus, Ken VanSant, Greta Volkova, Steve Diasparra. Directed by Mark Polonia. (2016, 79 min).
WILD EYE RELEASING

Okay...so you're currently reading a review of Bigfoot vs. Zombies. That alone is an indication of your entertainment preferences. I won’t pass judgment because I have a soft spot for ridiculous mash-ups as well. But at this time, please examine the cover and take note that there's nothing in the film nearly as amusing as that picture. In fact, it’s one of the most atrociously written and directed movies I’ve seen in recent memory.

But hey, maybe you absolutely loved such kitschy fare as Megashark vs. Giant Octopus or Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. So what do I know, right? Well, I do know that those films at least featured casts who appeared to have taken an acting lesson or two, directors who know how to set up a rudimentary shot and effects artists who didn’t hit the nearest Party City for their make-up supplies.

Yes, there’s truth-in-advertising with the title. Bigfoot does indeed battle hordes of the undead. By hordes, I mean the same dozen or so extras doused grey face paint or wearing corpse masks. Bigfoot himself is a guy in an ape costume and what looks like an Alice Cooper wig. The cast - sort of - reacts in helpless fear of the zombie invasion while trapped in a fortified research facility, even though the viewer can see neighborhood traffic casually passing by in the background.

One of the film's more emotionally intense moments.


Some of you reading this may still have low enough expectations to be up for the experience. If that's the case, I humbly suggest grabbing one of these along with your DVD purchase:


Trust me, the more of these you pound while watching, the better Bigfoot vs. Zombies will seem (like that barfly you just met who looks better every drink). If you’re crashed on the couch and stumble across it on Netflix, but are too lazy to even venture out for beer, try this (you probably already have one laying around):


It might also help to invite these guys over to partake in the fun:


In any case, you’ll thank me later. Bigfoot vs. Zombies is only a few steps removed from the type of backyard horror fests that Romero wannabes slap together over a few weekends with their buddies (who were likely paid with cases of Natty Ice). And if you’re still reading this, you might already be tanked enough to enjoy yourself.

BONUS FEATURES:
  • Behind-the-SceneS Featurette (which is mostly a blooper reel, and it’s apparent everyone involved had a good time)
  • Audio Commentary
  • Image Gallery
KITTY CONSENSUS:
MEH...UNLESS YOU'RE THOROUGHLY HAMMERED

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