1. GEORGE CLOONEY
"I guess this means you finally forgive me for Batman and Robin."
2. QUENTIN TARANTINO
"I'd like to share this award with all the legendary directors I've ripped-...er...paid homage to over the years."
3. MERYL STREEP
"Another trophy? Fabulous! I need one for my guest bathroom."
4. CUBA GOODING, JR.
"If you thought Jerry Maguire was great, wait'll you see Boat Trip!"
5. JEAN DUJARDIN
"None of you even know who the hell I am!"
6. BEN AFFLECK
"Suck it, haters...and I'm the next fucking Batman, too!"
7. MEL GIBSON
"Look at what those crazy Jews gave me."
8. HALLE BERRY
"Thank God I nabbed this before y'all saw Swordfish!"
9. JAMES CAMERON
"There's something 'titanic' in my pants, ladies."
10. THE 2015 WINNERS FOR BEST SOUND MIXING
"We'd like to thank our families, the only folks in America not taking a bathroom break right now."