November 21, 2023

CROCODILE ISLAND: Size Doesn't Matter

2020 / 87 min
Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

The impressive thing about this Chinese film’s titular terror is his versitility. Throughout Crocodile Island, he repeatedly changes size to fit the requirements of a particular scene. In the opening sequence, he’s the size of a megalodon when bursting from the ocean to swallow a hapless parachuter. Later, while attacking a victim in a shallow island stream, he’s no bigger than a ‘73 Buick. 

And no…there’s never any indication that more than one crocodile is terrorizing these people.

The consistent inconsistency of the creature’s size is just one aspect of Crocodile Island that makes it such a hoot, especially since the overall tone is fairly serious…at least compared to, say, Sharknado, which looks like Jurassic Park by comparison.

Following a hilariously dubbed prologue - when the aforementioned American parachuter meets his untimely demise - a passenger plane crash lands on a remote island located in the dreaded “Dragon’s Triangle” (Asia’s own Bermuda Triangle). But the survivors have bigger problems than being stranded, and not just a perpetually hungry, size-shifting croc. For one brief sequence, they’re also pursued through the inland forest by a horde of giant spiders, at least until they simply disappear from the entire narrative. Maybe the producers exhausted what was left of their CGI budget.

Speaking of CGI, the special effects throughout the film are uniformly ludicrous, which is ultimately part of the fun. Further amusement can be found in the story's many implausibilities, daffy dialogue, idiotic characters and the admittedly funny (on purpose) death of the main human antagonist. So yeah…Crocodile Island is a junk movie, but ultimately kind of endearing.

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