If you're taking the time to read this, I would imagine your mind is already made up whether or not Lake Placid vs. Anaconda is worth 90 minutes of your life. You've traveled this path many times, perhaps every Saturday night when Syfy belches-forth yet-another low budget, bloody, self-aware creature feature with a knowingly ridiculous title and slapdash CGI.
Speaking of titles, you've probably noticed this one makes no actual sense, serving only to lure viewers through brand name recognition. Indeed, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda is a mash-up of two rampaging reptiles who first made a splash on the big screen, but like Steven Seagall, have since become straight-to-video fodder. So technically, this is the fourth sequel in both franchises. By now, any semblance of effort & creativity on the filmmakers’ part are gone...mostly what's left is blood, boobs and Robert Englund.
|Reptile porn...that's gotta be a thing by now.|
While we’re on the subject, Robert Englund is back from the last Lake Placid movie (no longer the once-promised final chapter), as is Yancy Butler, veteran of two sequels, now looking like her meals consist entirely of unfiltered Camels (sad really...she used to be smoking hot). Corin Nemec is new to the series, as are another batch of nubile nymphs who can’t act (which is okay, since they only exist to jiggle in bikinis before being eaten). But what I personally found most-amusing is, storywise, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda greatly depends more on viewers’ familiarity with all the terrible sequels than the original theatrical films.
If you’re still reading, you are probably one of those viewers, and this is the movie mash-up you’ve been waiting for. If so, have at it, since there’s likely nothing I can say that’ll talk you out of your decision.
MEH...BUT DOES IT REALLY EVEN MATTER?