STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, SEASON THREE: What a Difference a Millennium Makes

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, SEASON THREE (DVD Review)

2020-2021 / 666 min (13 Episodes)

FROM PARAMOUNT

Review by Carl, the Couch Potato😺

Sending an existing Star Trek crew 900 years into the future - with no apparent hope of returning to their own time - is one of the more interesting creative decisions made for the franchise in a long time. 

The entire third season of Star Trek: Discovery is set in 3188, which opens up a plethora of narrative and aesthetic opportunities. No longer confined to repackaging the same technology, the same Utopian future and the same Starfleet SOP, the show is free to expand or tear-down existing Trekverse conventions, which happens early and often. For the crew of Discovery, this ain’t their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granddaddy’s universe.

This jump to the 32nd Century actually happened at the end of Season Two. Season Three begins after they’ve arrived. New viewers might initially be perplexed, since the obligatory recap just sticks to the basics: Discovery’s jump to the future saved all of civilization, it’s a one-way trip and the ship has been gifted with a “spore drive,” allowing it to instantaneously jump from one destination to another. Most of the other particulars about Season Two’s story are only hinted at. 

But ultimately, it’s all the info anyone new to the party really needs, since this one features a different story arc and mostly new subplots. One of the franchise’s strengths was always establishing diverse, dynamic characters and repeatedly reminding us of what makes them endearing. Hence, we quickly learn returning characters’ various idiosyncrasies while being introduced to interesting new ones (such as Book, a Han Solo-like pilot played by David Ajala). Speaking of the latter, it’s safe to say that Discovery is now the most inclusive show in the series - maybe in all of television - with a cast of characters so diverse they make the crew of the original series look like the Republican senate. One would be hard-pressed to think of a race, age group, class, gender or sexual orientation that isn’t respectfully represented by a major character, which would undoubtedly make Gene Roddenberry proud.

Our favorite new Star Trek character. Book is pretty cool, too.

Currently, the Federation is in shambles, a shadow of its former self following a catastrophic event known as The Burn, which destroyed most of the dilithium in the galaxy. Without it, warp speed isn’t possible. Season 13 consists of two major story arcs. First is Discovery’s search for Federation headquarters, which is no longer located on Earth (Which has broken from theFederation). When they do find it, the crew is in awe of the advancement in technology. However, Discovery’s spore drive means it’s the only ship that doesn’t require dilithium, meaning the ship and crew are immediately vital to Starfleet. This leads to the second main story: Trying to determine what caused The Burn in the first place, which recently-demoted science officer Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) believes holds the key to restoring the Federation to its former greatness.

However, not everyone they encounter loves or trusts the Federation, including some planets that were once part of it, such as Ni’Var (a Vulcan-Romulan alliance). Additionally, they aren’t the only big fish in the pond. The Emerald Chain is a brutal slave-based syndicate headed by Osyraa (Janet Kidder), a tyrant who not-only despises the Federation, she sets her sights on grabbing Discovery’s spore drive for her own use.

Interspersed among these 13 episodes are various subplots, some which are cerebral and idea-driven, others which consist of balls-out action more akin to Star Wars. With a plodding exception or two, these side stories are very entertaining, many of which either introduce new characters and delve deeper into existing ones, such as the two-parter featuring Philippa Georgiou (Michelle Yoah). Fans might recall she’s not the commander from previous seasons, but the displaced power-mad emperor from a hostile parallel universe who has somehow endeared herself to this crew (though she professes to despise them).

But the intricate, interwoven narratives would be meaningless without good characters, smart writing and - above all - a willingness to provide closure, all of which Season Three provides in abundance. One of this writer’s biggest turn-offs about serialized TV is the dreaded season-ending cliffhanger. However, aside from a few lingering threads, all of these storylines are brought to satisfying conclusions. With its unique-for-the-franchise setting and a growing cast of ever-evolving characters, Season Three is a terrific stand-alone binge-a-thon.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “Star Trek: Discovery: The Voyage of Season Three” (an overview of the entire season from various writers & producers); “Being Michael Burnham” (Sonequa Martin-Green discusses her character); “Kenneth Mitchell: To Boldly Go” (Interview with the actor, who’s struggling with ALS); “Writer’s Log: Michelle Paradise” (the writer/producer’s video diary); “Stunted” (short featurette covering the stunt work); “Bridge Building” (a featurette on the primary characters)

GAG REEL

DELETED SCENES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

HYDRA: Quality Over Quantity

HYDRA (Blu-ray Review)

2019 / 77 min

FROM WELL GO USA

Review by Tiger the Terrible😺

Hydra is the name of a tiny bar owned and operated by Rina (Miu), who inherited it from her father. Takashi (Masanori Mimoto) is her stone-faced cook who keeps to himself and almost never speaks. When he does, it is usually because he’s coerced to. 

Later, he comes to Rina’s rescue when a lecherous older man uses a date rape drug to try and have his way with her. Takashi demonstrates considerable fighting skills but doesn’t kill the man. Later, we learn the man was a cop and subsequently killed by a shady organization called the Tokyo Life Group, who Takashi once worked for as their top assassin before quitting to watch over Rina, the daughter of his mentor.

However, Takashi ain’t a bad guy. Neither is Tokyo Life, for that matter, mainly in the business of dispatching a variety of awful people. Convoluted circumstances drag Takashi back into his old job, basically to square against a vagrant mercenary who’s targeting Takashi’s former colleagues and uses Rina to coax him into a fight to the death.

The plot of Hydra is often unnecessarily perplexing, but ultimately inconsequential because what makes the movie a small winner are the main characters and the fight scenes. 

Kings of the dance floor.

The whole “back-for-one-last-job” trope is as old as the hills, but Takashi is pretty likable, despite the stone-cold exterior. In fact, his quietly intimidating demeanor often provides the film’s few moments of levity, while the paternal relationship he has with Rina is charming...and eventually heartwarming.

As martial arts films go, Hydra is actually rather sparse in the action department, but what’s here is amazing and I’ll take quality over quantity every time. There are two major fight sequences, with kicks, flips, punches and knives that come so fast & furious that we might momentarily suspect they were shot in fast-motion. But it’s simply amazing choreography, unembellished by trickery or hyperactive editing. 

Running a lean 77 minutes, Hydra hooks us with two engaging main characters, delivers a couple of astounding fight sequences, then gets the hell out before it has a chance to wear out its welcome. With efficiency like that, it’s fairly easy to forgive the murkier story elements.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

JAKOB'S WIFE: The Barbara Crampton Show

JAKOB’S WIFE (Blu-ray Review)

2021 / 98 min

FROM RLJE FILMS

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

In horror circles, Barbara Crampton needs no introduction. She’s a legendary scream queen, gracing the big and small screen in scores of genre films - good & bad, classic & not-so-classic - for nearly 40 years. She has also aged gracefully and shows no signs of slowing down. But despite her reputation and extensive filmography, it’s surprising how seldom she’s been asked to carry a film herself (as in almost never). 

The good news - especially for anyone who grew up worshipping at her altar - is Crampton is almost the whole show here. The better news is that, playing a meek housewife who evolves into an insatiable bloodsucker, she totally nails it.

Jakob’s Wife is aptly titled, since Anne Fedder (Crampton) has mostly existed in the background during her 30 year marriage to Jakob (Larry Fessenden), a self-absorbed pastor who seems barely aware she’s even around. And when she does try to speak, he often cuts her off before she can get a word in. Though obviously unhappy - as demonstrated when an old flame returns to town - Anne has resigned herself to a daily routine of tending to Jakob’s needs.

Another pick-up for the FedEx guy.

All that changes when she’s bitten by a monstrous vampire known as The Master (Bonnie Aarons). Not-only does Anne start craving raw meat & blood, she grows stronger, sexier and more uninhibited. More significantly, Anne stops putting up with Jakob’s bullshit. It’s a remarkable, highly amusing transformation, which Crampton plays to the hilt. When Jakob discovers what’s going on - catching her dining on a neighbor in the kitchen - he insists on vanquishing The Master himself, thus freeing Anne. However, Anne is not so sure she wants to be freed. 

No stranger to the horror genre himself, Fessenden has his share of funny moments and does a good job making us resent Jakob as much as Anne does. Still, this is definitely the Barbara Crampton show. She makes the most of the opportunity with a performance that’s initially nuanced and affecting before engaging in some prime scenery-chewing. It’s also gotta be said that even though she’s more-than-willing to play her actual age, Crampton still knows how to turn on the sex appeal. Most of us can only dream of looking that good in our 60s.

Though occasionally very bloody, Jakob’s Wife is seldom scary, nor does it really try that hard to be. And as bloodsucking antagonists go, The Master is relatively generic and perfunctory. However, the film is cleverly conceived, with a plenty of black comedy, some narrative surprises and an audacious performance by one of horror’s most luminary ladies.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTE - The Making of Jakob’s Wife.

DELETED SCENES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

Stay Out of ROOM 9

ROOM 9 (DVD Review)

2021 / 105 min

FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

For reasons probably known only to writer-director Thomas Walton, most of Room 9 is shot and edited like the opening title sequence of Seven. Shaky video, jagged cuts and intentionally distorted images may have been cutting-edge 25 years ago. But here, it’s a parlor trick that serves no discernible purpose, save for maybe trying to mask a murky narrative, lethargic pacing, amateurish performances and an overall inability to frame an interesting shot.

The film begins with a prologue showing the brutal murders of a couple at the hands of a half-dozen zealots operating under the tutelage of their loony patriarch. Fast forwarding 40 years, those same guys - along with a few hapless twenty-somethings - are being abducted, tortured and murdered by an unseen - but not unheard - man with revenge on his mind. On occasion, a dedicated detective pops in-and-out of the story to provide commentary at a murder scene, though we never actually see him doing anything resembling police work.

What Would Jason Do?

Speaking of characters, I don’t think any of them have more than 10 total minutes of screen time. One is introduced, then briefly engages with another peripheral character before disappearing altogether or getting strapped to a table and spiked to death. Then it’s on to the next victim. Case-in-point...horror icon Kane Hodder is prominently billed, but his entire role consists of being released from prison, drinking with an old buddy and picking a random fight with bikers. In the very next scene, with no foreshadowing or transition, he's murdered. As for the other horror hero in the cast, Michael Berryman is even more gratuitously inserted, showing up in intermittent flashbacks to spout gobbledegook about God and sin. At no point does he interact with any other characters.

But not-only is Room 9 criminally padded-out with meandering scenes and banal dialogue, its technical aspects are just a few steps removed from a home movie, like some of the no-budget garbage that used to take up video shelf space in the ‘80s, made by would-be auteurs armed with one camera, one mike and a handful of buddies willing to work for free beer. 

Viewers able to make it to the final act are rewarded with a climax that not-only reveals the ridiculous reason the first couple was murdered in the prologue, but a truly WTF confrontation between the red herring killer and an obligatory ‘final girl’ (who doesn’t even appear in the film until then). Even with seriously tempered expectations, Room 9 is a vapid excuse for a horror film, despite post-production efforts to jazz it up.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

BLEH! LIKE COUGHING UP A HAIRBALL.

MORTAL KOMBAT: Ultimate Fan Fiction

MORTAL KOMBAT (Blu-ray Review)

2021 / 110 min

FROM WARNER BROS

Review by Tiger the Terrible😼

#InPartnershipwithWB

If nothing else, the producers of the new Mortal Kombat movie know their intended audience: Hardcore MK gamers, some probably still butthurt over the 1995 family-friendly version (and its even-worse sequel). Let’s face it...the video game series’ unbridled gore has always been a major part of its appeal, which this reboot provides in abundance.

Of course, other purists will argue it’s the flamboyant characters which make the games unique. That box is checked-off, too. The movie throws-in about a dozen fan-favorites, played with various levels of effectiveness by a cast of physically adept actors who more-or-less resemble their video game counterparts. However, there isn’t much of an effort to expand its appeal beyond those who grew up with a game controller in their hand. In fact, numerous scenes and bits of dialogue are obviously intended to spark nods of approval from the faithful, but will be meaningless to everyone else. In a way, Mortal Kombat plays like the ultimate piece of fan fiction.

The plot is easy enough to follow and sporadically interesting, but there seems to be a presumption that the mere appearance of certain iconic characters is sufficient enough, since no real attempt is made to give them distinctive personalities. That may work for a game, but tends to make a film far less engaging, even one driven primarily by action. 

The one exception here is Kano, a foul-mouthed mercenary more motivated by his self-interests than saving the world. Played with gusto by Josh Lawson, he’s by-far the most interesting character in the entire film and provides a majority of the comic relief. Everyone else is about as dynamic as a vanilla cone, either because they're merely symbols of good or evil, or the individual playing them was hired more for their physical skills than their acting chops. The main protagonist, Cole Young, is especially dull, not helped by Lewis Tan’s low wattage performance. 

Goro...the undisputed Punch Buggy champion.

Still, if there was ever a film truly made “for the fans,” it’s this one. As such, Mortal Kombat is loaded with the kind of close quarters action the game is famous for. Fans of authentic fight choreography might be underwhelmed by an over-reliance on CGI for some scenes, but there’s enough genuine physical conflict to keep things interesting. And of course, these sequences are gleefully gory, with some amusingly memorable deaths. Our favorite features one combatant who gets split in half, head-to-groin, by a metal hat.

So while Mortal Kombat isn’t a particularly good film, it certainly delivers what its niche audience is expecting...lots of fighting, blood and shout-outs to a variety of tropes & characters. The door is left open for a sequel, of course, teasing MK gamers with a name they all know well, but those who’ve never played won’t have a clue about.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FROM GAME TO SCREEN: THE MAKING OF MORTAL KOMBAT - A pretty interesting making-of doc covering casting, costumes, production design and special effects. Features interviews with various cast & crew.

FAN FAVORITE CHARACTERS - 11 short promo pieces, running a few minutes each, about the character in the film, with stats and interviews.

ANATOMY OF A SCENE - 7 short pieces, running a few minutes each, about specific scenes.

FIGHT KOREOGRAPHY

INTO THE KRYPT: EASTER EGGS OF MORTAL KOMBAT 

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DIGITAL COPY

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD...THOUGH MORE FOR MK FANS THAN ANYONE ELSE.

GANGS OF LONDON: Big, Bloody & Bodacious

GANGS OF LONDON, SEASON ONE (Blu-ray Review)

2020 / 554 min (10 Episodes)

FROM AMC STUDIOS

Review by Carl, the Couch Potato😻

For the most part, we are a site dedicated to movies and don’t spend much time reviewing television shows. When we do, it’s for a specific reason. This time, the reason is Gareth Evans.

For those not familiar with the name, Evans wrote & directed two of the best action movies of the previous decade, The Raid and The Raid 2, the latter of which is nearly epic in scope. As such, he’s the perfect guy to create a similarly sweeping gangster saga. He doesn’t disappoint, either. 

Gangs of London may have been developed for TV, but the 10 episodes comprising Season One unfold like pure cinema, both narratively and aesthetically. 

The main story thread begins with the murder of Finn Wallace (Colm Meaney), the head London’s most powerful crime family. Hot-headed son Sean (Joe Cole) takes over, ordering all business, shipping and importing to cease until it’s discovered who - or which rival family - killed his dad. This doesn’t sit well with Finn’s partner and life-long friend, Ed Dumani (Lucian Msamati), who’s brilliant son, Alex (Paapa Essiedu), is the one their investors believe should run the family. 

Elliot Finch (Sope Dirisu) is an undercover cop who manages to get close to Sean, eventually becoming one of his most trusted soldiers. But after getting romantically involved with Ed’s daughter, Shannon (Pippa Bennet-Warner), his superiors - and the viewer - become concerned he may be crossing the line. Meanwhile, enemies both seen and unseen are making moves under Sean’s watch, sometimes against each other, other times to parlay their power once the dust settles. Because Sean is willing to go to war in response to the attack on his family - fully supported by his vengeful mother, Marian (Michelle Fairley) - those who wish a quick return to business as usual, including some lifelong friends & associates, come to the consensus that the Wallace empire would be better off if the Wallaces were dead.

Guess who forgot to bring doughnuts to the meeting.

The narrative is far more complex and complicated than that - though never difficult to follow - with dozens of well-rounded characters who play major roles in the surprising directions the story takes. Like Goodfellas, we may not like most of these people, but they’re sure-as-hell fascinating. Not only is it fast-paced, consistently intriguing and unpredictable, the series is loaded with the same brand of hard-hitting action and brutal violence Evans built his name with. If you thought The Sopranos was bloody, Gangs of London might redefine the word for you.

More importantly, the entire season plays like an epic, nine-hour gangster film, and even though certain late-episode plot turns lay the groundwork for the next season, the primary story comes to a bold, satisfying conclusion. The few cliffhangers we are teased with are more enticing than frustrating. 

Ultimately, Gangs of London transcends its TV origins and ranks as one of the most gripping gangster stories I’ve seen in years. Conceptually similar to The Raid 2, Gareth Evans makes the most of the expanded platform series television provides, which includes an exponentially bigger body count. I can’t wait to see what Season Two has in store.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “An Inside Look at…” (five promotional featurettes accessible individually or with the ‘play all’ option): The World; The Families; The Action; The Soldier; Anatomy of an Action Scene.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEE-OW! LIKE TAUNTING A MOUSE TO DEATH.

SPIRAL Exceeds Expectations

SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW (Blu-ray Review)

2021 / 93 min

FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

One big reason I’ve enjoyed all the Saw movies is I always kept my expectations in check. That's actually good advice regarding any horror franchise, especially those which threaten to extend into the double digits. 

The original Saw was gruesomely entertaining, not just as a horror film, but a suspenseful detective story with a pretty decent twist ending. Of course, anyone who’s seen all the sequels can attest there's an increasing emphasis on implausibly-elaborate traps, gonzo gore and attempts to top the original’s twist-laden narrative. None of them would ever be mistaken for high art, but it’s hard to argue they don’t deliver exactly as-promised. 

That being said, Spiral - the ninth film in the series - actually exceeded my expectations. The prerequisite outlandish traps and uninhibited violence are back, a good example being the wince-inducing opening sequence involving a subway train and a victim’s tongue. However, there is a greater emphasis on the police procedural aspects of the story, perhaps even more so than the original film. There might even be some relevant social commentary to be found here.

Chris Rock plays Zeke Banks, a bitter detective who’s more-or-less ostracized by his fellow officers for ratting-out a dirty cop a decade earlier. He also gets stuck working with Detective Schenk (Max Minghella), an eager young rookie who idolizes Banks’ retired father, Marcus (Samuel L. Jackson), once the chief of the precinct. 

Though Jigsaw himself is long-dead, someone begins committing a series of similar murders, while sending Zeke gruesome packages with cryptic clues to their locations. However, the killer’s M.O. is slightly different, in that he/she is targeting cops...more specifically, bad or corrupt cops, which Zeke’s department appears to be full of. 

"I thought I paid this."

One aspect that tarnished some of the sequels was the increasing number of victims who had no past sins to answer for (they simply got in the way). Here, we at-least understand why these cops are targeted. And depending on one’s point-of-view, some of them have it coming. Whether or not any kind of commentary about our tumultuous cultural climate is intentional, it’s certainly there if you’re looking for it.

The narrative is full of the usual plot twists and red herrings, but it’s efficiently-paced and fairly engaging, with a more coherent, self-contained story that doesn’t require a slide rule to follow (another common knock against some of the sequels). Though Rock occasionally seems out of his element, he turns in a decent performance and injects welcome moments of humor here and there, something completely absent from every previous film. 

As the end credits roll, it’s unlikely anyone will walk away thinking they’ve just seen a great film, but equally unlikely fans of the series will be disappointed. Spiral is audacious enough to sate the gorehounds & thrillseekers, while bringing back the detective story elements many have missed since the original film.

EXTRA KIBBLES

THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS: CREATING SPIRAL - An hour-long, 5-part documentary.

FEATURETTES - Drawing Inspiration: Illustrated Trap Breakdowns (Director Darren Lynn Bousman discusses the trap scenes, occasionally pausing them to go into further detail of a particular shot); Decoding the Marketing Spiral (Director Darren Lynn Bousman and several producers discuss the history of Saw posters).

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By director Drren Lynn Bousman, co-screenwriter Josh Stolberg and composer Charlie Clouser; 2) By producers Oren Koules and Mark Burg.

2 TRAILERS

DVD & DIGITAL COPIES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.