LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY: A Gory Good Time

LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY (Blu-ray)

2026 / 134 min

Warner Bros. 

#InPartnershipwithWB 

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Rest assured, this is not a sequel, remake, reboot or spin-off, and is not (yet) part of any franchise. Nor does it feature a story similar to any other movie with the same title. It just happens to be called The Mummy because mummification lays the foundation for the narrative that follows.

Oops…make that Lee Cronin’s The Mummy. I didn’t realize the director was already enough of a brand to justify his name in the title (you know, like John Carpenter used to). On the other hand, Cronin did crank out a banger of an Evil Dead sequel a few years back, so in horror circles, it’s a good indication that this ain’t your daddy’s Mummy. In fact, it’s ultimately more of a demonic possession movie than a creature feature…and a pretty damn good one.

As the story opens, TV reporter Charlie Cannon (Jack Reynor) and his wife, Larissa (Laia Costa), are living in Cairo with their two kids (and a third on the way). One afternoon, their daughter, Katie is abducted from the backyard by a mysterious woman and vanishes without a trace. A local police investigation, led by Detective Dalia Zaki (May Calamawy), has no leads.

Eight years later, the Cannons are living in Albuquerque with Larissa's mother when they receive a call from Dalia: Katie’s been found alive, wrapped and sealed in a sarcophagus. However, she’s quasi-catatonic and physically gaunt…almost grotesque (it’s a hell of a make-up job). On doctors’ advice, they bring Katie back home, where Larissa plans to nurse her back to health. Meanwhile, Charlie becomes obsessed with knowing exactly what happened to her, especially when Katie’s behavior grows increasingly monstrous.

Some people just aren't cut-out for Twister.

Of course, we already knew Katie was possessed the minute she woke up. But why and how is something that unfolds throughout the story. Meanwhile, Katie wreaks havoc on the household in a plethora of nasty ways, which Cronin is more-than-happy to present in gruesome, gross detail. We get eye trauma, head trauma, teeth trauma, bone trauma, toenail trauma, skin trauma, bug trauma…the things that make us wince and go “eew!” People are stabbed, bitten, impaled, devoured, disemboweled, bludgeoned and swallow nasty things. It’s all depicted with excellent make-up effects, most of which appears to have been done without much CGI.

But Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is a bit more than just a freak show. While the brutal gore is certainly front and center, the story itself is actually pretty interesting and the overall tone is dark and serious (with a lot of the most horrific things happening to children). It’s kind of the antithesis of those Mummy movies that were largely driven by action. The characters are also pretty well realized, and I like the way Cronin shows how this demon’s presence impacts the family dynamic, particularly Charlie and Larissa’s relationship. Their growing estrangement is nearly as concerning as Katie’s possession. 

Running over 130 minutes, the film’s a little too long, and there are a few moments where we need to suspend our disbelief, such as how fast these characters bounce back from increasingly terrifying incidents like they were minor skirmishes. But other than that, Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is a gory good time, especially for Evil Dead fans. So I guess he did earn his name above the title.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - The Making of Lee Cronin’s The Mummy features director & cast interviews; A Bloody and Grotesque Spectacle is, of course, about the grisly effects; Producing Possession and Ancient Demons delves into Egyptian lore that inspired the film.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By writer-director Lee Cronin.

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What to Make of THE BRIDE!

THE BRIDE! (Blu-ray)

2026 / 126 min

Warner Bros 

#InPartnershipwithWB  

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😽

As I write this, I’m still not quite sure what to make of The Bride! 

Overall, it’s pretty abrasive, with dialogue that often wavers between juvenile and pretentious (to say nothing of pretentiously juvenile). The film’s aesthetic and tone frequently seem like pandering attempts to appeal to the fringe crowd, created by folks who’ve clearly drawn inspiration from better movies aimed at the same audience. Here, it generally comes off as insincere and superficial. 

By the title character’s third or fourth smirking, expletive-loaded, literature-quoting tirade, I found myself going, Yeah, yeah, I get it…this ain’t my granddaddy’s Bride of Frankenstein.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t want it to be, and the basic story of The Bride! is actually pretty neat. You just have to slog through a lot of showboating to appreciate it. Set in 1936, Jessie Buckley plays both the ghost of Frankenstein author Mary Shelley, and a depressed escort named “Ida.” Shelley narrates the set-up: following her most famous novel, she died before writing the story she really wanted to tell. In limbo for centuries, she possesses Ida, who’s then killed after running afoul of a mob boss named Lupino. Shortly afterwards, she’s brought back from the dead by Dr. Euphronious (Annette Benning) as a mate for the late Dr. Frankenstein’s creation, “Frank” (Christian Bale), who’s dying of loneliness.

The undead soon-to-be lovers end up on the run after Frank savagely kills a couple of thugs attempting to rape Ida. While Isa has no memory of her previous life, Mary is apparently capable of channeling the angry souls of other women wronged or betrayed by men, including those killed by Lupino. This turns the pair into Bonnie & Clyde-like folk heroes by similarly-marginalized women everywhere, who adapt Ida’s monstrous appearance to inflict payback of their own. Meanwhile, detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his secretary, Myrna Malloy (Penelope Cruz) lead the nationwide manhunt against them, though tellingly, Myrna does all the actual detective work without credit…at least until a key moment in the story when Wiles’ connection to Ida is revealed. Lupino himself also orders his guys to find Isa and put her down for good.

Frank and Ida forget where they parked.

Feminism and female empowerment are major ongoing themes throughout the film, addressed both subtly and blatantly. While I personally feel these provide a great foundation on which to base the story, I can also see insipid mouth-breathers screaming “woke!” at the whole idea. That is, if the movie had managed to get enough box office attention to earn the wrath of those same mouth-breathers. Instead, The Bride! bombed, meaning they missed the opportunity to boost their butthurt over a film that gleefully rips the Band-Aid off of societal misogyny. 

After a lumbering, obnoxious first act that might prompt some to shut it off, once it settles into the story, The Bride! ends up being fairly engaging, despite frequent detours into moments calculated to solicit WTF? reactions (good or bad). The two protagonists eventually grow somewhat endearing as more is revealed about them, and are well realized by Buckley and Bale (along with some impressive make-up design). At the very least, there reaches a point when we feel compelled to see how things turn out for these two.

So I guess I now do know what to make of The Bride! Worthy themes notwithstanding, the film is never as bold as it obviously aspires to be - visually or narratively - and it’s definitely too long and repetitive for its own good. However, there’s enough earnestness and creativity on display that it would be a shame to dismiss the movie entirely.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Stitching Together THE BRIDE! is your standard-issue promotional piece featuring interviews with director Maggie Gyllenhaal and most of the primary cast; Designing the Look covers the creative make-up design; The Muse and the Reimagined Monster focuses on creating the titular character; The Bride Party is about the main cast.

ULTRAMAN DECKER: More Monsters & Mayhem

ULTRAMAN DECKER - THE COMPLETE SERIES (Blu-ray)

2022 / 700 min (25 episodes, 1 movie)

Mill Creek Entertainment

Review by Nick Lyons, from DVDCorner.net

2022’s Ultraman Decker (which is part of the Reiwa era) is simultaneously a sequel to Ultraman Trigger: New Generation Tiga and is also based on Ultraman Dyna. The 25 episode series begins at a time of peace in which there have been no monsters for 7 years. 

Of course, it wouldn’t be much of a series if there were no monsters, so as you might expect, all hell breaks loose when alien Spheres attack Earth and Mars. Moreover, a barrier covers Earth which prevents ships and communications from coming or going from the Planet. Luckily, Earth has hope. A brave and optimistic grocer named Kanata Asumi winds up becoming Ultraman Decker (who can transform into various types). Kanata himself also joins Earth’s TPU training school (and later becomes a part of the GUTS-Select team) alongside cadets Ichika Kirino and Soma Ryumon. Together this team (also comprised of robots HANE2 and Terraphaser) combat the evil Sphere forces (including the big bad Mother Spheresaurus) as well as Kaiju such as Deathdrago and Pagos. 

Along the way, some familiar faces pop up, such as Ultraman Trigger, Cameara, Grace, Marluru, and a Kanata descendant. Elsewhere in the plot is a key storyline involving the alien Agams who may or may not be connected to the Sphere invasion. Last, but not least is a movie finale titled Ultraman Decker Finale: Journey To Beyond, where Ultraman Decker, GUTS-Select and Ultraman Dinas team up to fight against Earth invader Professor Gibellus.

A great find from the Ultra Yard Sale.

Much like Super Sentai (AKA Power Rangers), the Ultra franchise has been running for decades. The Japanese Tokusatsu franchise has had many incarnations including Ultraman Decker. Produced by Tsuburaya Productions, Ultraman Decker is far from being one of the more beloved series in the franchise. Ultra Q and the original Ultraman, it certainly is not. The series is filled with cheeseball dialogue, an over-the-top Kanata (played by Hiroki Matsumoto), overly dramatic speeches, war cries, bad CGI, and an episodic formula involving new Ultraman types and a new Kaiju or monster. There’s nothing here that you haven’t seen before in previous Ultra series. 

On the plus side, the show delivers plenty of explosive action, which tends to be the selling point for the Ultra series. Yes, the CGI is pretty rough, but it’s nice to see that suits/costumes are still being used. Sure, you can do more with CGI, but nothing beats people in costumes duking it out. On top of that, it’s nice to see some cameos from past series. Anytime there’s more than one Ultraman on screen, it’s a treat to be sure.

Ultraman Decker is unlikely to be a fan favorite, but it’s still an entertaining tokusatsu series that will undoubtedly appeal to super fans or completists.

THE SAND Gets Soggy

THE SAND (Blu-ray)

2015 / 84 min

Rising Sun Media

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

About a thousand years ago, I wasted hard-earned allowance money to catch Blood Beach, a tacky little creature feature about a subterranean monster that sucks its victims down into the sand. But in my defense, the movie’s tagline - Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, you can’t get to it - was too tempting to resist.

But you can resist The Sand, a low-wattage 2015 flick with a similar premise. 

After a night of hard partying on the beach, several twentysomethings wake up the next morning. Some are in a car, a couple are in a lifeguard shack and one poor bastard is stuck in a barrel. Almost immediately, the film establishes them as unlikable and obnoxious, but at least they look good in bathing suits. When one girl sets foot on the sand, she quickly gets sucked beneath. So does the guy who foolishly tries to rescue her…a scene that succinctly establishes The Sand as a cheap flick with cut-rate CGI, including the gore effects.

"You've never actually surfed, have you?"

When they aren’t bickering over who’s cheating on who, the rest try to find a way of escaping the beach without stepping on the sand. At this point, we still might hold out hope that The Sand will be good for a few shits & giggles, even with shoddy special effects, awful dialogue and characters you’d never want to hang out with in real life. However, the movie slows to a crawl wherever people aren’t being eaten, operating on the assumption that anyone gives a damn about their personal drama. 

Just when you think the movie won’t get worse, Jamie Kennedy shows up as an idiotic beach cop. Though he’s the most recognizable member of the cast, it’s essentially a glorified cameo. But with a unique talent for making just about any movie worse, Kennedy and his stupidly-written character need only a few minutes to drag the rest of this one into the sand with the other victims. 

Then there’s the ending. Oh, wait a minute…what ending? Though the monster is finally revealed in all its glory (looking like the final boss of a video game), the story itself just sorta peters out into nothing before the credits role. The Sand might be good for a moment or two of unintentional laughter, especially with such a dead-serious tone. But ultimately, it seldom even rises to the level of endearingly tacky.

DEATH OF A UNICORN Goes in Many Directions

DEATH OF A UNICORN (Blu-ray)

2025 / 108 min

A24 Films

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😼

When their flight is abruptly cancelled, Widowed lawyer Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) and his estranged daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), are forced to drive to his ailing boss’ mansion home, located in a remote mountain forest. On the way, he strikes an animal with the car, which turns out to be a young unicorn…and still alive.

Hoping to end its misery, Elliot repeatedly bashes the beast with a tire iron, splattering both he and Ridley with blood. Then they proceed to the house (which is more like a compound) with the dead unicorn in the back. Once there, Ridley is introduced to the Leopolds…patriarch Odell (Richard E. Grant), the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, his wife Belinda (Téa Leoni) and their shiftless son, Shepard (Will Poulter). Superficially congenial, they’re pretty horrible people…self-absorbed, condescending and arrogant. Still, Elliot blatantly sucks up to them for a promotion in the company.

However, the unicorn isn’t quite dead. Once they discover that its blood has inexplicable healing properties, the Leopolds pounce on the opportunity to exploit the animal’s medicinal value, bringing in a team of scientists to harvest everything they can. During the process, Odell is cured of his cancer and demands the unicorn remains to be transferred to a lab. But Ridley, who’s developed something of a connection to it after touching its horn, questions their motives. Not only that, after doing some research on unicorn legend, she insists they can’t take the animal away. Everyone, including Elliot, simply thinks she’s delusional.

She isn’t, of course. The unicorn’s monstrous parents descend from the hills and commence attacking the mansion, violently slaughtering many of the Leopolds’ employees. Undeterred, Odell now wants to hunt down the adult unicorns to serve his own agenda. In a way, the basic plot of Death of a Unicorn shares similarities with a few movies in the Alien franchise, maybe a little Jurassic Park thrown in. 

Tonally and thematically, however, writer-director Alex Scharfman could have gone in a few distinctly different directions with this premise, such as an artistic dark fantasy, a satirical black comedy, fractured family drama, or simply a balls-out horror film. Instead, he throws all of these elements into a pot and stirs. The result is a movie that ends up being kind of a mixed bag.

"I don't think gophers are your problem, Shep."

The horror aspects work best. Ever since The Cabin in the Woods gave us that brilliant throwaway gag of a unicorn impaling somebody, it was just a matter of time before we got an entire movie depicting them as malevolent monsters. The attack scenes are frequent and bloody, sometimes amusingly so. And I suppose it goes without that we’re rooting for the unicorns right from the get go. The only drawback to these sequences is that the CGI is generally pretty wonky.

The satiric bits are entertaining at times, mostly personified by the Leopolds’ greed and indifference to the welfare of others. However, since they’re more like caricatures, a little of this goes a long way. Grant, Leoni and Poulter deliver good performances (especially the latter), but there reaches a point where the viewer might wish they’d just shut the hell up. They’re bad people…we get it. As for Elliot and Ridley, we’ve seen them before in plenty of other movies, so the direction their relationship takes throughout the film is predictable. Still, the denouement is kind of touching.

Considering A24 Films’ somewhat “arty” reputation (even in horror), Death of a Unicorn is something of an oddity. From technical and narrative standpoints, this might be the most high-concept, mainstream and - dare I say? - generic movie the studio has ever released. Not that it’s a bad film. There’s some nasty fun to be had here and a few big laughs, but it ultimately tries to do too many things at once. Scharfman might have been better off picking one road and staying on it.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTE - How to Kill a Unicorn features interviews with writer-director Alex Scharfman and some of the cast.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By writer-director Alex Scharfman.

6 POSTCARDS - With behind-the-scenes photos.

MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR: Everyone Has to Start Somewhere

MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR (Blu-ray)

1954 / 64 min

From Film Masters

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Film Masters has been restoring and releasing quite a few Blu-ray collections of early Roger Corman productions. Unlike previous ones, the latest isn’t a double feature, but does offer a film of considerable historical importance…

Monster from the Ocean Floor is the first film Corman ever produced. It’s pretty silly and slapdash, but hey, everybody has to start somewhere. If Corman had failed to scrape together the meager funds he needed to throw this together, just think of all the other B-movie bonanzas that would be missing from our lives.

The plot is simple…there’s an octopus-like monster with a glowing white eye lurking off the coast of a Mexican village. The locals are afraid of it, which convinces commercial artist Julie Blair (Anne Kimball) the legend might be true. However, hunky marine biologist/love interest Steve Dunning (Stuart Wade) is skeptical, at least until he motors around the cove in his one-man submarine (which is prominently featured throughout the movie because Corman got to borrow it from the builders in exchange for an on-screen credit).

When light bulbs attack.

The beast kills a few people, of course. An unfortunate cow also meets an untimely demise, but not before Julie hilariously encounters it on the beach and runs away, screaming her head off. While that scene alone is worth the price of admission, the monster itself is kind of a neat creation, though more cute than scary. The climax pitting it against Submarine Steve is a hoot.

Monster from the Ocean Floor is definitely lower-tier sci-fi horror, but fairly well assembled for the budget. It’s also been given a pretty decent facelift here, and as usual, Film Masters includes a smattering of entertaining bonus features offering some historical context. 

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Bob Baker: From Monsters to Marionettes is a charming look back at the legendary puppeteer, who created the monster for this film; Roger Corman: Becoming a B-Movie Maker is an archival interview with Corman, who fondly recalls his humble beginnings.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Tom Weaver., with some commentary by Roger Corman.

SUPPLEMENTAL BOOKLET - With photos and an essay by Tom Weaver.

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