THE BLADE CUTS DEEPER: Almost an Homage

THE BLADE CUTS DEEPER (Blu-ray)

2024 / 84 min

Leomark Studios

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Well, at least director/co-writer Gene Dolders did some of his homework…

In The Blade Cuts Deeper, John Abbott (John Tueart) is the sleazy creator and host of “Light, Camera, Kill,” a sensationalistic TV show that exploits tragedy by flippantly reenacting real life murders. However, his latest episode, depicting a serial killer’s handiwork, pisses off the wrong guy, who commences killing off everyone associated with that episode. In true giallo fashion, the killer isn’t revealed until the end, but the viewer ain’t gonna need a slide rule to immediately know who’s doing the carving.

As an intended giallo homage, there are some other similarities, primarily its aesthetic. There's a mysterious black-gloved killer, extended stalking sequences that are emblematic of the genre, and of course, plenty of death by cutlery, including a jaw-dropping scene where one victim is repeatedly - and convincingly - stabbed in the face. On occasion, the film manages to generate some genuine tension . 

When someone brings donuts to the staff meeting.

However, there’s typically more to giallo than pure murder and mayhem. They’re generally structured like a mystery, even those that are more style over substance. Most of this film consists of Abbott being a dick while the killer picks off everyone around him. Storywise, this is just a slasher film filled with characters whose entire narrative purpose is to die.

That doesn’t mean The Blade Cuts Deeper isn’t enjoyable. Dolders is no Argento or Bava, but considering what appears to be a low budget, this is a pretty good looking film. Additionally, the death scenes are mostly well-executed and extraordinarily brutal. As slasher movies go, trust me, you’ve seen far worse. But while it sometimes resembles giallo, the spirit just ain't there. Maybe Dolders should've actually finished his homework.

Catnip Reviews: DEADMAN'S BARSTOOL, TMNT TRILOGY (4K) and HARLEY FLANAGAN: WIRED FOR CHAOS

Snack-sized opinions from the frisky felines at Free Kittens…

DEADMAN’S BARSTOOL (Blu-Ray) - This ain’t your daddy’s Anchor Bay. Those of a certain age might fondly recall this boutique label was renowned as purveyors of B-movie horror and cult classics. These days, the label’s been putting out quirky, low-budget indies, most of which are an acquired taste. The black comedy, Deadman’s Barstool, is no exception. This one involves the disgruntled wife of a philandering televangelist who plots with his mistress to rob him blind, only to have their plans go up in smoke when he turns up dead. And that’s just the beginning of their problems. Not bad for a microbudgeted film by a writer-director (Dean Dempsey) with obvious cult aspirations, though he clearly loves his eclectic assortment of  characters more than you’re likely to. (2018/78 min/Anchor Bay). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES TRILOGY (4K UHD) - I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact there are people pushing 50 who grew up watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on TV, then dragged their beleaguered parents to theaters to catch these - the original live-action trilogy - on the big screen. If you’re one of them, here’s a big ol’ box of nostalgia. This set collects Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, all given good 4K restorations. These films are definitely products of their time, and their crude charm will likely be lost on anyone raised on the later (and better) films. However, if they were a part of your childhood, it’s an enjoyable trip down memory lane. You also might end up chuckling at what you used to think was awesome (like Vanilla Ice). This three disc set also comes with a generous selection of new and archival bonus features, as well as some physical goodies to re-establish your fandom.  (1990-1993/278 min min/Arrow Video). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😺😺😺

HARLEY FLANAGAN: WIRED FOR CHAOS (Blu-ray/DVD) - Though I’ve occasionally enjoyed my share of punk rock over the years, I never really delved into the hardcore stuff, and prior to watching this film, had never heard of Harley Flanagan (founder of the band, Cro-Mags). But it’s also been my experience that the most interesting music docs have been those about artists I’m not familiar with. That being said, Wired for Chaos is a fascinating (and sometimes harrowing) look at the life of a guy who has lived, eaten and breathed the genre all his life. Flanagan himself candidly tells his own story, which includes a childhood I wouldn’t wish upon anybody. The film also features interviews and testimonials from a variety of musicians, artists and people who know him well. The movie didn’t make me want to rush out and buy a Cro-Mags record, but Flanagan’s perseverance and dedication to his craft is admirable. We also get the impression he’s lucky to still be alive. (2025/99 min/Lightyear Entertainment). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼😼😼

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL: Castle's Classic Creepfest

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL Limited Edition (Blu-ray)

1959 / 75 min

Film Masters

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Wasn’t it great being little, when damn near everything scared you, like skeletons dangling from tethers? 

I wasn’t around when cinema’s greatest carnival barker, William Castle, was turning schlock into gold with such gimmicks as theater seat buzzers, fright insurance policies and, of course, “Emergo,” which was used to help turn House on Haunted Hill into one of his biggest hits. This was where a red-eyed skeleton would ‘float’ over the audience on a wire. Cheap and tacky, to be sure, but it put butts in seats.

Still, I remember the onscreen (also tethered) skeleton scaring me as a kid when I first watched this on TV, along with other ghostly figures lurking in dark closets. Then there was that dreaded pool of acid, which was used to destroy the bodies of murder victims, though one poor sap gets thrown in alive. Back then, acid ranked just behind lava and quicksand on my list of the most horrible ways to die and it seemed like a lot of horror villains had a vat of the stuff in their basement.

But who is the actual villain in House on Haunted Hill? When revisiting the film years later, I appreciated how the narrative’s surprising twists kept the viewer guessing, an aspect that elevated this one above the usual tacky treasures Castle was making at the time. And despite some imagery that’s still kinda spooky, one could even argue that it isn’t really a horror movie at all. The story itself unfolds more like a Scooby Doo mystery…with booze…and guns.

"Sounds like the couple upstairs have made up again."

The movie remains very entertaining, though perhaps aesthetically quaint compared to the bloody-but-joyless 1999 remake. The great Vincent Price shines as Frederick Loren, a cynical millionaire who invites a group of carefully chosen strangers to spend the night at a supposedly haunted mansion, offering $10,000 to each who takes him up on the offer. The house, of course, has a dark past, as ominously explained by its owner, Watson Pritchard (Elisha Cook Jr). That’s when the fun begins.

House on Haunted Hill is William Castle’s one true classic. In addition to atmospheric direction, an engaging story and interesting characters, the overall performances are quite good for a film of this type (though all that’s really required of Carolyn Craig is to scream every ten minutes). Even without “Emergo,” it remains one of the better haunted house movies of the 1950s. Having been released on Blu-ray before (most notably, in one of Shout Factory’s Vincent Price collections), I don’t know if this new edition from Film Masters is a significant technical upgrade, but the overall video/audio quality is pretty good. Kinda light on bonus material, though.

EXTRA KIBBLES

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Heath Holland.

SUPPLEMENTAL BOOKLET - Includes an essay by Jason A. Ney.

BEAST OF WAR: A Solid Slab of Sharksploitation

BEAST OF WAR (Blu-ray)

2025 / 87 min

Well Go USA

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Bigger Boat😸

Ah…another day, another low budget shark movie.

I generally don’t mind reviewing these things, because even the bad ones (which is most of ‘em) are usually good for a few shits & giggles, often at their own expense. And like many of you, I never go in expecting another Jaws because that’s never gonna happen.

Beast of War hails from Australia and purports to be “based on a true story.” Fans of ferocious fish probably don’t care how much of the “true” part ends up in the movie, as long as there’s plenty of shark action, which this one eventually serves up in abundance.

I say eventually because the first act takes time to introduce its main characters. Set during World War II, a squad of new recruits are training for an upcoming mission. Leo (David Coles Smith) is an indigenous Australian haunted by a past tragedy involving a shark, Will (Joel Nankervis) is a smart but inexperienced young man who Leo takes under his wing, and Des (Sam Delich) is a racist, self-aggrandizing bully. Though other characters mostly exist to be fish food, the narrative does an excellent job fleshing out these three, assuring that we’re invested in their survival…or horrible deaths. 

A Farewell to Arm.

On the way to the mission, the troop’s ship is torpedoed by Japanese forces and sinks, stranding a half-dozen survivors on a slab of debris in the middle of the Pacific. They have little food and no fresh water, but their more immediate concern lurks under the surface: a great white shark that might just be the hungriest fish in movie history, relentlessly stalking these guys and putting the bitedown on anyone unfortunate enough to end up in the water.

Because bad shark movies far outweigh the good ones, I kept waiting for Beast of War to descend into silliness or stupidity, but it never does. Though there are lapses in plausibility, it was around the halfway point that I found myself thinking, Hey, this is actually pretty good. Sometimes really good, in fact. In addition to engaging characters and decent overall performances, writer-director Kiah Roache-Turner manages to create plenty of tension and atmosphere despite obvious budgetary limitations. Best of all, this one doesn’t appear to rely too much on CGI. The shark isn’t always convincing, but at least we feel it’s physically sharing the screen with the cast. Additionally, the attack scenes are brutal and bloody, punctuated by pretty realistic gore effects. 

I don’t know much much of this true story is actually true, nor do I care. What ultimately matters is that Beast of War is a surprisingly solid slab of sharksploitation. Running a lean 87 minutes, it benefits from a brisk pace, and other than an amusing aside depicting how these guys manage to solve their thirst problem, a mostly serious approach to its premise.

COYOTES: Pity the Poor Housepets

COYOTES (Blu-ray)

2025 / 92 min

Decal Releasing

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

We here at Free Kittens are sad to say that Coyotes is yet-another horror movie that includes the violent death of a cat to move the story along. However, it is an equal-opportunity pet killer, offing an annoying little yippy dog in the very first scene. But despite such an overused trope, there’s one aspect of this feline demise that we appreciate: Upon learning the cat has been slaughtered by the titular beasties, its owner briefly considers killing himself. 

Of course he would.

Both of those deaths occur off-screen, saving the real carnage for its human characters. Taking place in the suburban hills of Los Angeles, coyote attacks are on the rise, as Scott and Liv (real-life couple Justin Long & Kate Bosworth) find out when a pack of them begin stalking them in and around their house. Other characters include daughter Chloe (Mila Harris), who feels responsible for the attack because she had previously been feeding them, hard-partying neighbor Trip (Norbert Leo Butz), and the prostitute he hired for the night, Julie (Brittany Allen).

Refuses to fetch.

Coyotes often goes for laughs, and gets a few here and there, especially whenever Trip and/or Julie on-screen (the former’s cocaine-fueled despair over losing his cat is particularly funny). As for Scott - a squeamish, workaholic comic artist - he’s not all that likable and I’ve seen Long play the same type of character so often that I’ve lost count. Bosworth does what she can with a pretty thankless role, which is mostly informing Scott when he’s being a dick.

Elsewhere, Coyotes is basically a home invasion movie with animals. The coyotes themselves are obviously CGI creations and never very convincing. On the other hand, there are some effectively gory scenes that boast pretty decent make-up effects. The film is never scary and seldom even suspenseful, but the playful tone and brisk pace keep it watchable. I gotta say, though...it might’ve been a lot funnier if it had the nerve to take itself seriously.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

4 HALLOWEEN...is Not

4 HALLOWEEN (Blu-ray)

2022 / 67 min

Darkside Releasing

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

If you love a good horror anthology flick - and who doesn’t? -  look elsewhere...please.

4 Halloween opens with a ten minute sequence of a masked psycho, wearing nothing but a slaughterhouse apron, cutting away a dead man’s nose, lips and eyes. Then with no transition whatsoever, he stabs a young woman in her bathroom about 50 times. The gore is all shot in voyeuristic close-up, which I suppose is fine if that’s your sort of thing. 

But that’s the entire plot of this dialogue-free segment, which is indicative of the rest of them, prompting one to wonder if the film had an actual written screenplay. While the ‘stories’ sort of intersect, none of them are all that coherent and mostly appear to exist for the sake of a gross-out scene…save for the last story, which so blatantly rips-off of Killer Klowns from Outer Space that the Chiodo Brothers should consider suing. 

In addition to being nearly nonsensical, 4 Halloween is amateurish and cheap looking, with godawful performances and, aside from some of the gore, visual effects that look like something cooked up by a public access TV station…from the 90s. Not only is this garbage a complete waste of time, it’s a waste of the disc it’s burned on. Dust off your old copy of Creepshow instead.

EXTRA KIBBLES

ALTERNATE SCENES, BEHIND-THE-SCENES & BLOOPERS - All rolled up into one featurette. more entertaining than the movie.

TRAILERS - For this and other Darkside releases.

ATTACK OF THE CORN ZOMBIES & RETURN OF THE CORN ZOMBIES: Dirt Cheap Double Feature

ATTACK OF THE CORN ZOMBIES & RETURN OF THE CORN ZOMBIES (Blu-ray)

2023 & 2025 / 177 minutes (2 movies)

Bayview Entertainment

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Before you go thinking the titles suggest a couple of satiric, self-aware zom-coms…nope. Both are a couple of ultra low-budget flicks that are more-or-less serious in tone (especially the second one). They are the products of Steve Hermann, a self-taught filmmaker from Chicago whose can-do spirit is admirable, even if he hasn’t quite taught himself everything yet.

Attack of the Corn Zombies apparently had a budget of $10,000, which'll get you a decent used car if you shop smart enough. Taking place in 1969, it’s about a corn crop sprayed with fertilizer that has the unfortunate side effect of turning people into the title creatures, complete with stalks and kernels growing from their open wounds. Languidly paced and clumsily staged, with some eye-rolling dialogue spoken by a cast whose primary income probably isn’t acting, Attack of the Corn Zombies might have you wondering if that used car wouldn't have been a wiser investment. Still, the movie boasts some not-half-bad make-up effects and an earnest effort to make the whole thing look like a product of the ‘60s.

DoorDash has arrived.

Comparatively speaking, Return of the Corn Zombies is actually pretty good. Made for three times the budget of the first (a whopping $30,000, enough for a decent new car), this one is still amateur night in the acting department and wastes way too much screen time on character exposition (to no avail, since we still don’t care about them). However, the legitimately decent story sees a few survivors of the corn zombie apocalypse lured into a compound overseen by a megalomaniacal ex-mayor and his looney family, who run the place like cult leaders. Pretty dark in tone, it sort of plays like a Walking Dead episode, where the real monsters aren’t the zombies. The technical aspects are also a significant improvement.

Ultimately, how much one enjoys these homegrown films largely depends on an appreciation for what Steve Hermann and friends were able to accomplish with such meager resources. He’s no Romero, but probably capable of cranking out a pretty solid horror movie if ever provided the kind of financing that could put a sports car in his driveway.

Revisiting CREEPSHOW 2 in 4K

CREEPSHOW 2 Limited Edition (4K UHD)

1987 / 90 min

Arrow Video

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

As a big fan of Stephen King, George A. Romero and anthology horror films in general, I loved the original Creepshow. While not as flat-out scary as I expected, the movie was a hell of a lot of fun, with great stories, plenty of humor and a colorful aesthetic that paid homage to the ancient horror comics that inspired it. Decades later, it remains the best (certainly the most consistent) anthology film I’ve ever seen. 

For once, here was a horror film that justified and deserved a sequel…maybe lots of sequels. 

So imagine my initial disappointment at 1987’s Creepshow 2, which was (and still is) inferior in almost every way. Shorter (only three stories), cheaper and aesthetically drab, the movie largely eschews the comic book flourishes that made the first one unique. Though Romero returns to write the screenplay based on King stories, he’s sorely missed in the director’s chair, replaced by longtime associate Michael Gornick. And save for one segment, much of the original’s giddy gallows humor is conspicuously absent. At the time, I felt like those responsible for the sequel didn’t really give a damn about it, resulting in a movie that should have been called CHEAPshow.

But you know what? Time has actually been somewhat kind to Creepshow 2. While it still doesn’t hold a candle to the original (nor to many episodes of the recent Shudder series), I’ve revisited the movie on numerous occasions over the years, and like Jordy Verrill's fungus, it has sort of grown on me. Without the baggage of elevated expectations, I’ve learned to enjoy it on its own terms. So have many other fans, because what was once a critical and commercial dud has since earned something of a cult following.

Shoulda gone to Supercuts.

As for the stories themselves, I enjoy the first one, “Ol’ Chief Woodenhead," more than I used to. A fairly straightforward tale of just-desserts, its utter predictability doesn’t help, but the segment features a terrific villainous performance by a very young Holt McCallany (who’s now a reliable character actor) and some nice atmospheric touches. Conversely, one of King’s best stories, “The Raft,” is turned into the movie’s cheesiest segment, with unlikable characters, shitty performances and a man-eating slab of lake-dwelling goo that resembles a bunch of Hefty bags tied together. However, this one does feature some nasty gore effects. 

The best segment, “The Hitchhiker,” is the only one that would have been right at home in the first film. The story of a hit-and-run victim who won’t stay dead, this one boasts fun performances by Lois Chiles as a self-absorbed driver and Tom Wright as the title character seeking revenge. Creepshow 2 also has a wraparound story tying it all together, that of a comic book fan getting revenge on bullies with the help of Venus fly traps. This story (as well as The Creep himself) is animated, and cheaply, too, but it’s pretty amusing.

In the end, I no longer think Creepshow 2 was made by folks who didn’t give a damn. They simply did their best with the talent and meager resources available to them at the time. So all things considered, everyone involved who wasn’t a pencil pusher did manage to put together an entertaining little horror film. 

Now it’s available on 4K as a limited edition boxed set and features a pretty good video upgrade, though the three audio options are the same as Arrow’s previous Blu-ray release (and not really a complaint since the DTS-HD Master Audio track is really good). Having been sent a promo disc for review, I can’t comment on any physical supplements, but all of the other bonus material (outlined below) is the exactly same as the Blu-ray. 

EXTRA KIBBLES

NOTE: Free Kittens Movie Guide was provided with a promo disc for review purposes. Physical supplemental material included with the final product (booklets, artwork, inserts, etc) were not available for review.

FEATURETTES - Screenplay for a Sequel is an interview with screenwriter George A. Romero; Tales from the Creep is an interview make-up legend with Tom Savini (who plays The Creep in the wraparound segments); Poncho’s Last Ride and The Road to Dover are interviews with actors Daniel Beer (Randy) and Tom Wright (The Hitchhiker); Nightmares in Foam Rubber is special effects featurette, including interviews with Howard Berger & Greg Nicotero; My Friend Rick is an appreciation of make-up artist Rick Baker, featuring Howard Berger.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director Michael Gornick.

BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE

TRAILERS & TV SPOTS

SCREENPLAY GALLERIES