THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (4K) and the Great Dog Monologue

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (4K UHD)

1996 / 120 min

From Arrow Video

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Brain Smasher😺

If nothing else, The Long Kiss Goodnight features the greatest inspirational speech ever given in a film. Brian Cox’s character, Dr. Nathan Waldman, is sitting at the dining table with his wife and dog, the latter of which is bathing himself. It’s during this scene that Nathan says to his wife:

“He’s been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there’s nothing there worth more than an hour’s attention. I should think whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Those lines come courtesy of screenwriter Shane Black, and if he never typed another word afterwards, he more-than-earned a place among the pantheon of legendary Hollywood writers. As for the rest of the movie…most of it faded from my memory over the years, though I do remember enjoying it. Back then, director Renny Harlin was still cranking out solid action films, Genna Davis was still an adorable A-lister and Samuel L. Jackson was still Samuel Motherf**king Jackson (then again, he's always been Samuel Motherf**king Jackson, hasn’t he?).

Married to Davis at the time, Harlin tried turning her into an action heroine, first with the historically disastrous Cutthroat Island, followed by this. Though a much better film, it did little for either of their careers. Davis went into the Stuart Little business, while hubby Harlin had one last decent movie in him (Deep Blue Sea) before descending into mediocrity. So as a power couple, The Long Kiss Goodnight could be seen as their legacy. And like a lot of movies written (and sometimes directed) by Shane Black, it developed something of a cult following thanks to home video.

The greatest speech...ever.

This 4K disc is the first time I’ve sat down to watch the movie in at least two decades. The story of amnesiac suburban mom Samantha Caine (Davis) slowly realizing she was once a government assassin named Charlie Baltimore is a solid foundation to build an action flick, albeit a familiar one. But it’s ultimately Black’s witty screenplay that makes it crackle, especially when heard through co-stars Samuel Motherf**king Jackson and Brian Cox, both who steal the movie right from under Davis’ nose. Elsewhere, there’s plenty of the usual kaboom, but like Black’s The Last Boy Scout, the dialogue is the movie’s most memorable aspect.

And you know what? Almost 30 years later, I still laughed my ass off during Cox’s tirade about his anally-obsessed pooch. In fact, I rewatched that scene twice. 

Speaking of rewatching, fans of The Long Kiss Goodnight will certainly enjoy revisiting it in 4K. I’ve never seen the film on DVD or Blu-ray, so I can’t draw any upgrade comparisons, but the picture and sound here are both excellent. Additionally, Arrow Video has thrown in a big batch of new bonus features, along with a few older ones.

EXTRA KIBBLES

NOTE: Free Kittens Movie Guide was provided with a promo disc for review purposes. Physical supplemental material included with the final product (booklets, artwork, inserts, etc) were not available for review.

NEW INTERVIEWS - Symphony of Destruction features stunt coordinator Steven Davdson (not Dave Mustaine); Long Live the New Flesh features make-up artist Gordon J. Smith (not David Cronenberg); Girl Interrupted features actress Yvonne Zima, who played Samantha’s eight-year-old daughter (not Angelina Jolie).

3 VISUAL ESSAYS - Amnesia Chick is by film scholar Josh Nelson, who discusses a long line of films with amnesiac protagonists; The Mirror Crack’d is by Howard S. Berger (not Agatha Christie); A Woman’s World is by author & film critic Alexandra Heller-Nicholas.

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By critic Walter Chaw; 2) By Bloodhaus podcasters Drusilla Adeline and Joshua Conkel.

ARCHIVE INTERVIEWS - Featuring director Renny Harlin, actors Geena Davis, Samuel Motherf**king Jackson and Craig Bierko (whatever happened to that guy?)

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

BEHIND-THE-SCENES EPK

DELETED SCENES

IMAGE GALLERY

TRAILER

Revisiting THE NICE GUYS in 4K

THE NICE GUYS (4K UHD)

2016 / 116 min

From Warner Bros

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😺

Looking back at Shane Black’s directorial efforts is sort of a study in contrasts. The big budget, high-concept films have mostly been pretty middling, which is ironic considering his screenwriting career was built on them. Conversely, two of the best (and smartest) action comedies of the 21st Century, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and The Nice Guys, received comparatively little attention when first released (though both have since become highly revered).

These films share many of the same elements and narrative structure, to the point that The Nice Guys could even be seen as sort of a spiritual sequel (or prequel, since it’s set in 1977). Both are great examples of neo-noir that blend violent action and sharp comedy in equal measures. Both feature a pair of cynical protagonists who reluctantly team up to solve a case (and one is generally smarter than the other). Both star actors not typically associated with comedy at the time. Both feature intricate plots that, while interesting, you’re likely to forget in any real detail until you watch them again…which isn’t really a liability because both are endlessly rewatchable.

The secret to good detective work is to look cool smoking.

If forced to choose between them, I would probably pick The Nice Guys as the (slightly) better of the two (though I reserve the right to change my mind when I revisit Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang again). This one features Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling as Jackson Healy and Holland March, a couple of hard-boiled LA detectives who end up on the same case…the search for a young woman who participated in an adult film. It turns out others who worked on the movie are being murdered, which leads Healy and March to some discoveries (often accidentally) about who’s behind it all, and why.

But as well conceived as it is, the plot is secondary to the characters, performances and dialogue. Healy and March are wonderfully written. Neither are what one would mistake for morally upstanding, but they’re engagingly likable and their quasi-antagonistic relationship provides most of the move’s funniest moments. It’s two stars look like they’re having a great time playing against type, working with another clever, playful (and sometimes raunchy) Shane Black screenplay. 

This 4K release doesn’t offer any additional bonus material that hasn’t included on older formats. However, it does boast a noticeable visual upgrade from the previous Blu-ray edition, nicely preserving the film's vivid '70s aesthetic. The audio track sounds great, too, but I didn’t notice any discernible difference between either version. 

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Always Bet on Black focuses on the director; Worst. Detectives. Ever. is your basic promotional making-of featurette.