January 15, 2014

MOVIES IN HAIKU

PEARL HARBOR
Your brother is dead?
Then before the planes reach Pearl
I'll screw you instead.

INDEPENDENCE DAY
Aliens are here!
They may have the firepower,
But my laptop rocks!

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Heston as Moses.
Egypt was full of white folks?
Still, Yul is badass.

THE HOBBIT
One book. Three movies.
That's okay...fanboys will pay,
'Cause they're all suckers.

DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN (or any other Madea movie)
It's Perry in drag,
Exploiting stereotypes
To rake in the cash.

FRIDAY THE 13TH (any of them)
To hunks and hotties
Who engage in naughtiness...
Meet my machete.

TITANIC
I saved your ass, Rose!
Let me climb on before my
Goddamn balls freeze off!

SCARFACE
Tony Montana...
An incestuous, coke-fiend
Who says “fuck” a lot.

No comments: