IN VITRO: There's More Than Cows in Jack's Barn

IN VITRO (Blu-ray)

2024 / 88 min

Well Go USA

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Ballcrusher😺

Sometimes all you need is a cool idea, a couple of decent actors and a remote farmhouse. That’s pretty much all directors Will Howarth and Tom Mckeith had to work with anyway, and still managed to put together a nifty little lo-fi sci-fi film. In Vitro isn’t very flashy, but what it lacks in visual panache is compensated by an intriguing story, effective performances and pretty cool twist ending.

Taking place in the near future, where agriculture is a dying industry, Jack and Layla run a remote ranch and struggle to make ends meet. However, Jack (Ashley Zuckerman) has been experimenting with ways to genetically “grow” his own cows, hoping to sell the cloned cattle to local buyers. Layla (Talia Zucker, who co-wrote the screenplay) remains supportive, but she doesn’t appear very happy with her life, stuck maintaining the farm and taking care of Jack. She also misses their son, who’s away at boarding school.

"Not tonight, honey. You smell too beefy."

Then while investigating a disturbance in the barn, Layla discovers more than just cows. I won’t say what, but it’s a plot development I didn’t see coming. This revelation not-only horrifies Layla, it immediately changes the viewer’s perception of Jack. Where we once thought of him as simply self-absorbed and indifferent to her unhappiness, now he’s the film’s detestable antagonist with a twisted agenda, becoming more repellant as the story plays out.

In Vitro is slow going at first, perhaps intentionally in order to establish the couple’s drab existence. In essence, we tend to feel as bored and restless as Layla, at least until her discovery. The film doesn’t turn into an action fest - remaining pretty deliberately paced - but there’s new urgency and tension as Layla realizes the implications of what Jack’s doing…and why she needs to escape. But the best twist comes at the end, bringing In Vitro to a satisfying conclusion. The movie may lack a big budget, but big ideas, smart writing and a couple of interesting main characters make it worth checking out.

THREE and THREE…EXTREMES: Aptly Named Anthologies

THREE & THREE…EXTREMES (Blu-ray)

2002 & 2004 / 254 min (2 movies)

Arrow Video 

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Three…Extremes was released on this side of the pond in the early 2000s, and I was aware of its reputation. More specifically, I was aware that Takashi Miike was one of the directors of this horror anthology. For those unfamiliar, Miike’s prolific career includes Ichi the Killer, Audition and the nastiest episode of Showtime’s Master of Horror series. So nasty, if fact, that Showtime refused to air it, and after later catching it on DVD, I could see why.

He’s a good director, but the films I’ve seen (those above-mentioned titles) wallow in levels depravity and violence that are tough to endure…and I can generally endure a lot. But the violence isn’t just graphic. The context in which it’s inflicted is what makes it so brutal. So, tail between legs, I took a hard pass on Three…Extremes.

But here we are, 20 years later, and Arrow Video has put it out on Blu-ray, along with the first film, 2002’s Three. And guess what…I was today-years-old when I learned the film I was reluctant to watch two decades ago was a sequel. Actually, that might surprise a lot of people, since Three was only released in the U.S. (as Three…Extremes II) after Three…Extremes made waves here. Not that it matters, since they’re anthology films anyway.

Not knowing what to expect, I put on my big-boy pants and dug in, fully prepared to witness stuff I’ll never unsee…

But Three is a surprisingly subdued and deliberately-paced trio of stories by directors from Korea, Thailand and Hong Kong. In fact, the overall tone is similar to what we now might call ‘elevated horror.’ The first tale, “Memories,” features a man who appears concerned about his missing wife. Concurrently, she awakens in the middle of the street with no idea how she got there, then proceeds to make her way home. There are some effective scenes here and there, but most horror fans will see the twist ending coming from a mile away. “The Wheel” deals with a cursed marionette that wreaks havoc on the man who took it for himself after its original owners died. “Going Home,” is about a cop whose young son goes missing. While searching, he’s taken captive by his reclusive neighbor, who is trying to resurrect his dead wife. There’s more plot here than the story really needs, but it’s the best of the three, with an ironic twist and an intriguingly ambiguous denouement.

Overall, Three is longer than it needs to be, with directors Kim Jee-woon, Peter Chan and Nonzee Mimibutr all guilty of a little self-indulgence. But for the most part, it’s visually interesting, with an emphasis on atmosphere over scares and violent thrills. In fact, it’s damn near bloodless.

You won't find these at a food court.

Conversely, Three…Extremes is aptly named. “Dumplings” is Fruit Chan’s sick and twisted tale of a former actress desperate to stay young. She hires the services of a mysterious dumpling maker whose secret to eternal youth is pretty shocking (to say nothing of stomach churning, thanks to some repellant visuals and sound effects)…and the story is just getting started. In Park Chan-wook’s “Cut,” a film director and his wife are held captive and tortured by one of his former extras, who forces him to make some terrible decisions in order to save her. This one is brutal and bloody, marred by a somewhat silly ending. 

The biggest shock is saved for last, with Takashi Miike’s “Box.” But what’s shocking is that this one is not driven by violence and gore. In fact, it’s an exercise in surrealism about a young woman who has spent her life mourning the twin sister she accidentally killed when they were children. Haunting and atmospheric, this one may disappoint those accustomed to Miike’s more bloodthirsty work, but I really enjoyed the director’s emphasis on mood over logic. As the final story, however, it does end the Three…Extremes rather anti-climactically, at least compared to the visceral viciousness of the first two.

These six stories play more like individual films - complete with their own credits - than part of a whole, and the tone is mostly serious (sometimes almost melancholy). As horror anthologies go, they don’t quite deliver the sense of fun that a Creepshow episode might, but are certainly worth checking out, although Three…Extremes is definitely not for the squeamish. In addition to solid 2K restorations of both films, Arrow has included an good batch of new & archival bonus features. 

EXTRA KIBBLES

NOTE: Free Kittens Movie Guide was provided with a promo disc for review purposes. Physical supplemental material included with the final product (booklets, artwork, inserts, etc) were not available for review.

THREE

INTERVIEWS - New and archival individual interviews with “Memories” director Kim Jee-woon, “Memories” cinematographer Hong Kyoung-pyo, “Going Home” director Peter Ho-Sun Chan, “Going Home” actor Eugenia Tuan.

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

TRAILER

THREE…EXTREMES

INTERVIEWS - New and archival individual interviews with producer Peter Ho-Sun Chan, “Box” director Takashi Miike, “Dumplings” director Fruit Chan, “Dumplings” actor Bai Ling.

MAKING-OF FEATURETTES - One for each film.

2 TRAILERS - Three…Extremes; feature length version of Dumplings.

ÆON FLUX (4K): The Anniversary You Probably Forgot

ÆON FLUX 20th Anniversary Edition (4K UHD SteelBook)

2005 / 92 min

Paramount

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😾

A 20th Anniversary edition of Æon Flux? I could be wrong, but isn’t that like celebrating the anniversary of a single date you had with someone whose name and face you barely remember?

For the sake of clarity, Æon Flux was an animated sci-fi series that aired on MTV back in the 1990s. This live-action film starring Charlize Theron followed about a decade later, which was a critical and box office dud. Then it sort of became forgotten, never developing anything resembling a cult following (though it has been repeatedly released on Blu-ray and DVD over the years). Now it’s getting the 4K SteelBook treatment, so surely someone out there must fondly recall this one. Right?

This is the first time I’ve ever actually watched it. Having never seen the original show either, I have no idea how it measures up or if it’s faithful to the source material, but it does a fairly decent job establishing the dystopian setting, where a virus has wiped out most of the world’s population. The remaining five million people survive within the walls of a single city called Bregna. However, not everything is hunky dory. Bregna is under authoritarian rule by the Goodchilds, the family whose ancestors created the city in the first place.

The world's greatest lawn ornament.

Theron plays the title character, a kick-ass supersoldier who fights with a telepathic resistance group called the Monicans. After her sister is mistakenly identified as a Monican and murdered, Æon accepts a mission to kill Bregna’s leader, Trevor (Marton Csokas). But not only is it revealed the two have a past together, Trevor’s being undermined by his own counsel, led by hot-headed brother, Oren (Jonny Lee Miller). 

Æon Flux is competently made and features the expected quota of CGI-enhanced action and special effects. However, there’s absolutely nothing memorable about it, visually or narratively. Theron looks good and gives a dedicated physical performance, but her character is purely defined by action (hell, she barely reacts to her own sister’s death). Everyone else is even less defined. It all moves along at an urgent pace, but at no point are we instilled with the same urgency. We’re simply watching everything unfold with the enthusiasm of watching someone else play a video game.

Aside from Theron’s costume and its combat-functional boob window, I can’t think of a single noteworthy scene or moment that raises Æon Flux above anything but empty eye candy. Still, if that single date you had with someone left a lasting impression, the film has been given a pretty decent 4K facelift and comes with bonus features carried over from previous releases. I suppose the biggest selling point would be the new SteelBook packaging, which features a variation of the original promotional artwork, but is at least an improvement over the crappy looking Blu-ray SteelBook from a few years ago.

EXTRA KIBBLES

4K, BLU-RAY & DIGITAL COPIES

FEATURETTES - Creating a World: Aeon Flux; The Locations of Aeon Flux; The Stunts of Aeon Flux; The Costume Design Workshop of Aeon Flux; The Craft of the Set Photographer on Aeon Flux.

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By Charlize Theron & producer Gale Anne Hurd; 2) By screenwriters Phil Hay & Matt Manfredi.

EDDINGTON: A Guided Tour of Historical Chaos

EDDINGTON (Blu-ray)

2025 / 148 min

A24 Films

Review by Princess Pepper😸

If nothing else, writer-director Ari Aster is unpredictable. After making a name for himself in horror circles with Hereditary and Midsommar, one might've naturally assumed he’d stay the course. Instead, he did Beau is Afraid, a surreal, often self-indulgent exploration of extreme anxiety. Being that the film was somewhat pretentious, to say nothing of really long, I think more than a few people wished he’d stick to horror.

But that would make Aster less interesting. There’s a what-the-hell-did-I-just-watch? quality to his visual and narrative approach that makes all of his films memorable, even if we don't always like what he shows us. From a story standpoint, Eddington might be Aster’s most straightforward effort - it’s certainly his least ambiguous - but its themes and social commentary are undoubtedly polarizing. That alone makes the film worth seeing. Too bad few people actually did, because this might be the director’s most compelling work.

It’s arguably his most timely, while also serving as a blistering piece of historical fiction that none-too-subtly singles out a couple of key recent events which widened the already extreme political divide this country is still experiencing today. In that sense, Eddington can be seen as Aster’s most distinctly “American” film, with a small New Mexico town serving as its microcosm. 

Taking place in 2020 at the height of the COVID pandemic, Joe Cross (Joaquin Phoenix) is the sheriff of Eddington and a fervent anti-masker, despite a state mandate. Depending on the viewer, this establishes Joe as either sympathetic or a willfully ignorant dumbass. Then again, I’m of the belief that anybody who’d view this character positively probably wouldn’t choose to watch a movie like Eddington in the first place, so maybe Aster is just preaching to the converted.

"That's my hat, goddammit!"

Cross’ frequent clashes with progressive-minded mayor Ted Garcia (Pedro Pascal) prompt him to spontaneously announce his own candidacy for the upcoming election, running on a freedom of choice campaign. On the homefront, Joe’s life is kind of a mess, with an anxiety-ridden wife, Louise (Emma Stone), and looney, conspiracy-theorist mother-in-law Dawn (Deidre O’Connell). His complacency is further threatened when the police murder of George Floyd has far-reaching societal impact, even in the small town of Eddington. Once again, Joe is (willfully?) ignorant of the cultural climate, unable to understand why the town is suddenly so divided and out of control.

Ongoing themes permeate the story, such as the motivations of activists on both sides of the political spectrum, as well as how people can take advantage of the media to push their own agendas (facts be damned). And one thing is certain…you sure as hell don’t need a slide rule to figure out how these characters and their actions relate to the real world. Still, Eddington is generally more of an observation than a subjective commentary. 

At the same time, it’s very entertaining, even as the tone grows increasingly dark. Filled with an eclectic array of interesting characters and anchored by terrific performances (especially Phoenix), the film also includes healthy amounts of black comedy, as well as Aster’s usual aesthetic flourishes, quirky touches and bursts of brutal violence. In addition to presenting an original and unpredictable story, Eddington perfectly captures the chaos of the most tumultuous era in our recent history. Best of all, I can imagine just as many people hating it, and any movie that potentially polarizing is certainly worth experiencing.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

6 SOUVENIR POSTCARDS - Not the usual behind-the-scenes card A24 has typically included. These look like actual retro postcards.

Catnip Reviews: BUSTER KEATON, SMURFS & ULTRAMAN ARC

Snack-sized opinions from the frisky felines at Free Kittens…

THE BUSTER KEATON SHOW (Blu-ray) - Until this 2-disc set arrived, I wasn’t aware Buster Keaton even had a TV show. Perhaps some of you were unaware, too, since it wasn’t particularly successful and many episodes have since been lost. However, this set has dug up and restored nine of them, which is kind of a bittersweet viewing experience. On one hand, here’s a silent movie legend decades removed from his glory days, and it shows. He never took to talkies too well, and some of these episodes see him sadly trying to erase the passage of time. On the other hand, some of his greatness still shines through on occasion…a reminder that, at one time, nobody was funnier. Also included are a couple of episodes not previously available, as well as Buster’s appearances in other shows, but the best bonus kibbles are two of his silent shorts from the early twenties. Far from Buster’s greatest work, but from a historical perspective, it’s well worth checking out. (1949-50/332 min/Liberation Hall). 

KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼😼

SMURFS (Blu-ray) - “Isn’t Rihanna in that?” asked my 21-year-old daughter, Lucy, as she passed through the room while I was watching this. “Yeah,” I ruefully replied before tapping the blurb on the box, “Rihanna is Smurfette.” That was the extent of Lucy’s interest, but she used to watch this stuff as a kid. A reboot I didn’t know anyone was asking for, Smurfs is yet-another cynically assembled, pop song-laden product with Rihanna and a huge cast of well-known actors lending their voices (and marquee value). Since the average five-year-old probably doesn’t give a damn who these people are, I’m not sure why they went to all the trouble. While there are a few interesting animated bits, this is one of those movies that you pop into your machine to keep the wee ones amused while you do something else.  (2025/90 min/Paramount). 

KITTY CONSENSUS: 😺

ULTRAMAN ARC (Blu-ray) - And you thought Disney knew how to milk a franchise…Ultraman has been kicking around since 1966, when the first series aired in Japan. Since then, there have been dozens and dozens of TV shows, miniseries, movies, games, comics, manga and trading cards. And yours truly has never seen a single frame until now, with this 2024 series, Ultraman Arc. Since this type of science-fiction is not my bag, I’m kinda going-by-feel here when it comes to any recommendation. From the characters to the lore to the action itself, most of this was lost on me, like attending a party where you know none of the guests. But since it appears to be aesthetically identical to other recent series, I suspect it’ll please fans of the franchise. If you count yourself among them, dig in. This 4-disc set features 25 episodes, as well as a full length Ultraman Arc movie, The Clash of Light and Evil. Additionally, it comes with a card that can apparently be played with an Ultraman card game. (2024/700 min/Mill Creek). 

KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼

4 HALLOWEEN...is Not

4 HALLOWEEN (Blu-ray)

2022 / 67 min

Darkside Releasing

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

If you love a good horror anthology flick - and who doesn’t? -  look elsewhere...please.

4 Halloween opens with a ten minute sequence of a masked psycho, wearing nothing but a slaughterhouse apron, cutting away a dead man’s nose, lips and eyes. Then with no transition whatsoever, he stabs a young woman in her bathroom about 50 times. The gore is all shot in voyeuristic close-up, which I suppose is fine if that’s your sort of thing. 

But that’s the entire plot of this dialogue-free segment, which is indicative of the rest of them, prompting one to wonder if the film had an actual written screenplay. While the ‘stories’ sort of intersect, none of them are all that coherent and mostly appear to exist for the sake of a gross-out scene…save for the last story, which so blatantly rips-off of Killer Klowns from Outer Space that the Chiodo Brothers should consider suing. 

In addition to being nearly nonsensical, 4 Halloween is amateurish and cheap looking, with godawful performances and, aside from some of the gore, visual effects that look like something cooked up by a public access TV station…from the 90s. Not only is this garbage a complete waste of time, it’s a waste of the disc it’s burned on. Dust off your old copy of Creepshow instead.

EXTRA KIBBLES

ALTERNATE SCENES, BEHIND-THE-SCENES & BLOOPERS - All rolled up into one featurette. more entertaining than the movie.

TRAILERS - For this and other Darkside releases.