THE JOLLY MONKEY: What Else Would You Expect From The Asylum?

THE JOLLY MONKEY (DVD)

2025 / 93 min

The Asylum

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Those lovable lunatics at The Asylum are back at it. Being the undisputed kings of the “mockbuster,” taking time to review damn near any of their movies is almost an exercise in redundancy. People either hate them because they’re barely disguised rip-offs, or love them because they’re barely disguised rip-offs.

This time we’re getting The Jolly Monkey, it’s title and cover art obviously created to evoke Osgood Perkin’s recent Stephen King adaptation, The Monkey. Comparing the two is, of course, pointless, but not just in terms of overall quality. It’s already a given that it’s gonna be cheaper, cheesier and cast with actors who don’t even warrant their own Wikipedia page (nor does the movie, for that matter).

But plotwise, The Jolly Monkey kinda goes in a different direction. It’s more of a slasher movie about two sisters and their families inheriting a dilapidated old motel once owned by their parents. While bickering over whether to sell the property or restore it, they’re being killed-off one by one by a murderer in a monkey costume, who also slices off their faces.

"What's the problem? You said dress formal."

The story also clumsily throws in supernatural elements related to all the beat-up old toy monkeys laying around the place. Additionally, it turns out the family has a dark past, especially the sisters’ dad, who was both a hide-tanning expert and serial killer in his spare time. As for who’s knocking everybody off this time around, viewers will have no trouble figuring it out the killer's identity because there’s no such thing as subtlety in their performance. But at least it is a performance, which can’t really be said about the rest of the cast.

Because of the mostly serious tone, silly dialogue, dumb characters and a villain that elicits more chuckles than scares, The Jolly Monkey is more of an unintentional comedy than a horror film (though a couple of death scenes are pretty good). But with The Asylum pulling the strings (including the purse strings), that shouldn’t come as a surprise…or a disappointment, either.

THE RITUAL: So What If It's True?

THE RITUAL (Blu-ray)

2025 / 98 min

Decal Releasing

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

When it comes to movies, especially horror movies, I don’t give a damn if it’s a true story or not. And God knows we’ve gotten a jillion that have claimed to be, which I suppose is a good selling point for the easily duped. 

So when I first caught a trailer for The Ritual, “The true story that inspired The Exorcist” didn’t impress me much. Not only should ‘true story’ always be taken with a grain of salt, it’s been my experience that anybody name-dropping another movie as part of their ad campaign reflects a lack of confidence in their own movie.

However, this one stars the legendary Al Pacino, which definitely piqued my interest. The guy ain’t really known for horror films, and though he hasn’t done much this century worth writing home about, surely Al saw something in its screenplay worth his time. But even if his motivation was a number with a lot of zeroes, demonic possession does seem like a premise conducive to some prime Pacino scenery chewing…kinda like that time he rescued The Devil’s Advocate.

"I'm gonna speed things up by skipping to the last page."

But damn, if The Ritual isn’t the most drab, derivative and dull horror movie I’ve seen so far this year. Not that it’s slow moving or anything. The film gets almost immediately down to business, with Father Joseph Steiger (Dan Stevens) questioning his faith after his brother’s death. He’s also skeptical that a young arrival at his parish, Emma (Abigail Cowen), is demonically possessed, even as legendary exorcist, Father Theophilus Riesinger (Pacino), is summoned to save her soul.

The exorcism itself comprises a majority of the film’s running time, which would be fine if a unique spin or two were thrown in. Instead, it plays like a checklist of every possession trope we’ve seen in countless movies since 1973, right down to the prerequisite vomiting, speaking in tongues, histrionic bible readings, levitating…you get the idea. Characterization is minimal, and all that's required from most of the cast is to react in horror. As for Pacino…there’s only so much even he can do with such an underwritten character, save for perform it as a consummate professional. But really, Father Riesinger could have been played by anybody.

The writing and direction by David Midell is merely perfunctory, doing nothing aesthetically or narratively interesting with the premise. Unimaginatively shot, The Ritual coasts almost entirely on the conceit that it’s based on a real-life exorcism. But so what? True story or not, a horror movie still needs atmosphere, an engaging story and characters we’re invested in. What a waste.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - The Making of The Ritual; Keeping the Faith; The Script; Based on a True Story.

BUZZFEED INTERVIEWS - Somehow, Buzzfeed has a hand in producing this. They're mentioned in the opening credits, anyway.

The Substance of SUNSET BOULEVARD (4K)

SUNSET BOULEVARD (4K UHD)

1950 / 110 min

Paramount

Review by Mr. Paws😻

Well, I finally got to scratch this one off my List of Shame…that mental checklist of classics I should have seen by now, but for one reason or another, just never got around to it. There are a lot of films on my list, and if you call yourself a movie lover, so do you. While I’ve always been aware of Sunset Boulevard, but it wasn’t until I heard and read it being described as film noir that it truly piqued my interest. 

Fairly late in the game, I’ve grown to love film noir, checking many of them off my List of Shame, and seldom have I been disappointed. While I wasn’t disappointed in Sunset Boulevard either (it certainly deserves the praise it’s gotten over the years), I don’t know if I’d consider it true noir. Far be it from me to disagree with the likes of Eddie Muller (who ranks it at #3 on his list of the genre’s all time best), but by and large, it’s more of a compelling drama - with black comedy thrown in - about the dark side of Hollywood stardom.

Sure, there are elements that could easily support the whole “noirgument.” You’ve got your cynical protagonist and narrator in Joe Gillis (William Holden), a down-on-his-luck screenwriter who stumbles upon an job opportunity to polish a terrible screenplay written by has-been silent movie star Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson). Of course, his financial dire straits force him to forsake his principals. And yeah, his ultimate fate - foreshadowed in the prologue - looks and plays like classic noir. Finally, it’s deftly directed by the great Billy Wilder, responsible for the greatest film noir ever made (in my opinion), Double Indemnity.

Call me crazy, but while watching this, the film that kept coming to mind was the recent body horror masterpiece, The Substance. Though obviously hailing from different eras and genres, I found some interesting thematic similarities between the two. Both films are a condemnation of an industry that tends to use people until they’ve outlived their value. Both feature a female main character going to extremes to maintain her beauty, youth and relevance. Both have a key scene where the public is horrified at what she’s become. Both conclude with the haunting image of the character’s face, still in denial that she’s now a monster. 

Master of (shadow) Puppets.

Beyond their themes, Sunset Boulevard and The Substance both feature knock-out performances by actors who’d been more-or-less written-off as past their prime, only to earn Oscar nominations for playing similarly marginalized characters (along the way, Ms. Swanson turned Norma Desmond into one of the most iconic and parodied movie characters of all time). While I’m grasping straws, I might as well go ahead and suggest Sunset Boulevard even dips a toe into body horror. Specifically, the montage where she subjects herself to a variety of bizarre facial and body treatments in a vain effort to look young. It may not be gruesome or graphic, but contextually, the sequence is still a little unnerving…and morbidly funny.

Or maybe someone simply spiked my coffee while I was writing this. Whether Sunset Boulevard is considered noir, drama, satire or horror, what ultimately matters is that it’s a great film, one of the best of the 1950s and well worth revisiting from time to time for its rich performances (Holden is every bit Swanson’s equal), great dialogue and Wilder’s typically brilliant direction. 

Since the film is new to me, I won’t make any technical comparisons between this 4K restoration and previous versions. However, the overall picture is excellent, nicely showcasing John F. Seitz’ beautiful black & white cinematography. It also features two audio options, a brand new Dolby TrueHD 5.1 track an a more traditional mono mix. There are no new bonus features, but this set includes the 2012 Blu-ray version, which is loaded.

EXTRA KIBBLES

4K, BLU-RAY & DIGITAL COPIES

SUNSET BOULEVARD FEATURETTES - Sunset Boulevard - The Beginning; Sunset Boulevard - A Look Back; The Noir Side of Sunset Boulevard (Okay, FINE It’s noir! Happy now?); Sunset Boulevard Becomes a Classic; Two Sides of Ms. Swanson; Stories of Sunset Boulevard; Mad About the Boy - A Portrait of William Holden; Recording Sunset Boulevard; Franz Waxman and the Music of Sunset Boulevard; The City of Sunset Boulevard.

PARAMOUNT PICTURES FEATURETTES - Behind the Gate - The Lot; Edith Head - The Paramount Years; Paramount in the ‘50s.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Billy Wilder biographer Ed Sikov.

PROLOGUE SCRIPT PAGES

HOLLYWOOD LOCATION MAP

DELETED SCENES

GALLERIES

TRAILER

THE POOP SCOOP: Boxes of Scares

😺NOBODY 2 on Digital Now and 4K, Blu-ray and DVD October 7 from Universal. Bob Odenkirk returns as Hutch, an overworked assassin who just needs a break, in this bareknuckle action-thriller. After deciding to take his family to a tourist town for some fun in the sun, a minor encounter with local bullies yanks the family into the crosshairs of an unhinged, blood-thirsty crime boss (Sharon Stone), who is determined to derail his relaxation. It also stars  Connie Nielsen, John Ortiz, RZA, Colin Hanks, Christopher Lloyd and Sharon Stone. NOBODY 2 is directed by Timo Tjahjanto (The Night Comes for Us, The Big 4) and co-written and executive produced by acclaimed action filmmaker Derek Kolstad (John Wick franchise). 

🙀SHUDDER: A DECADE OF FEARLESS HORROR and CREEPSHOW: THE COMPLETE SERIES on Blu-ray November 11 from Shudder. 10 of the streaming service’s best all in one boxed set. Includes Terrified, The Mortuary Collection, The Dark and the Wicked, Host, Mad God, V/H/S 94, Caveat, Skinamarink, Late Night with the Devil, In a Violent Nature. Shudder is also releasing all four seasons of their acclaimed anthology series, Creepshow, based on the classic Romero/King film. Too bad they won’t be released before Halloween. These are bitchin' horror collections.

😸THE NAKED GUN (2025) on 4K, Blu-ray & DVD November 11 from Paramount. Only one man has the particular set of skills... to lead Police Squad and save the world! Lt. Frank Drebin Jr. (Liam Neeson) follows in his father's footsteps in THE NAKED GUN, directed by Akiva Schaffer (Saturday Night Live, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping) and from producer Seth MacFarlane (Ted, Family Guy). Joining the case are cast Pamela Anderson, Paul Walter Hauser, CCH Pounder, Kevin Durand, Cody Rhodes, Liza Koshy, Eddie Yu, with Danny Huston. Includes numerous featurettes and alternate/deleted scenes.

🙀CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD Available on 4K UHD Steelbook on September 9th from RLJE Films. A fractured community that has fallen on hard times after the treasured Baypen Corn Syrup Factory burned down. As the locals bicker amongst themselves and tensions boil over, a sinister, grinning figure emerges from the cornfields to cleanse the town of its burdens, one bloody victim at a time. The real fun starts when Frendo the clown comes out to play.

😺David Cronenberg’s THE SHROUDS on Blu-ray & DVD October 21 from Criterion Collection. David Cronenberg returns with one of his most personal films, an audacious, elegiac exploration of grief, mortality, and love wrapped in the guise of a corporate-espionage thriller. 

😸THE LIFE OF CHUCK on 4K, Blu-ray and DVD September 30 from Decal/Neon. This unforgettable tale celebrates the life of Chuck Krantz as he experiences love, loss, and the multitudes contained in all of us. 

🙀A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 7-FILM COLLECTION on 4K September 30 from Warner Bros. From his first terrifying appearance on Elm Street to his resurrection through nightmares, the collection includes the original seven films. 

😺James Gunn’s SUPERMAN on Digital NOW, Coming to 4K, Blu-ray & DVD September 23 from Warner Bros. In his signature style, James Gunn takes on the original Super Hero in the newly imagined DC universe with a singular blend of epic action, humor and heart, delivering a Superman who’s driven by compassion and an inherent belief in the goodness of humankind. 

🙀CREEPSHOW 2 on 4K UHD September 30 from Arrow Video. The Limited Edition 4K UHD features a brand new 4K restoration from the original negative, packed with hours of special features and an illustrated collector’s booklet.

😺MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: THE FINAL RECKONING on Digital August 19 and 4K & Blu-ray October 14 from Paramount. Both the digital and physical releases come with hours of bonus content, including behind-the-scenes interviews, exclusive commentary, and deleted footage not seen in theatres.

✈AIRPORT: THE COMPLETE 4-FILM COLLECTION on 4K and Blu-ray September 30 from Kino Lorber. This 4-Film collection includes all four newly-restored Airport movies, accompanied by new audio commentaries. 

🤖MEGAN 2.0 On Digital Now and 4K & Blu-ray September 23 from Universal. The rewired bot will also be launching on 4K UHD and Blu-ray on September 23, 2025, and you can unlock M3GAN’s newest updates with over 30 minutes of exclusive bonus content.

😻Oscar Winning FLOW on 4K, Blu-ray & DVD September 23 from Criterion Collection. This Academy Award–winning international sensation follows a courageous cat after its home is devastated by a great flood. 

🎸THIS IS SPINAL TAP Goes to 11 on 4K & Blu-ray September 16 from Criterion Collection. This Is Spinal Tap, now beautifully restored, capturing all the mishaps, creative tensions, dwindling crowds, and ill-fated drummers.

INVASION U.S.A. and the Propaganda Machine

INVASION U.S.A. and ROCKET ATTACK U.S.A. (Blu-ray)

1952-1960 / 136 min (2 movies)

Film Masters

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Paws😼

With this release, Film Masters unearths a big batch of Cold War propaganda with two silly slabs of budget-conscious buffoonery and some great bonus material for historical context. The overall quality of both films is kinda chuckleworthy, but considering today’s polarizing political climate, the blatant nationalism on display doesn’t feel quite as archaic as it should.

Of the two, 1952’s Invasion USA features better performances and production values. Still, it’s mostly a paranoid patchwork of stock footage and isolated scenes of its main characters’ reactions to a full scale attack by an unnamed communist enemy (though obviously the Soviet Union). America is getting her ass handed to her for most of the running time, at least until a final scene reveals the entire film to be a cautionary (and heavy-handed) call to action. But despite the dumb denouement, it’s still better than Chuck Norris’ braindead debacle with the same title and premise.

"We're here to stop you from decorating any more rooms."

Invasion USA is a Palme d’or contender compared to 1960’s Rocket Attack USA, depicting an American spy’s attempt to thwart Russia’s plans to nuke New York City. Hampered by shoddy production design, amateur-night performances and muddy camerawork, this is an interminable endurance test that feels much longer than its hour-long running time. On the plus side, the movie is made more watchable with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode included as a bonus feature. It ain’t Joel and the robots at their best, but it sure beats enduring the film without them.

Speaking of which…as with many Film Masters Blu-ray releases, the additional supplemental material might be the real treasure here. Not only do they provide historical context, they are generally more interesting than the movies themselves. Jf nothing else, this two-disc set serves up a look back at an era of American propaganda that, if we’re lucky, will remain history.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Better Dead Than Red: Hollywood vs. Communism in the 1950s looks back at how the “Red Scare” affected people in the movie business; A Matter of Minutes: Remembering Gerald Mohr is an interview his the actor’s son.

AND A VOICE SHALL BE HEARD - A short film that was shown with Invasion USA.

8 ATOMIC ERA PROPAGANDA SHORTS - Spread out over both discs, these are fascinating.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 EPISODE - Rocket Attack USA and the short, The Phantom Creeps.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - Invasion USA, by Jason A. Ney; Rocket Attack USA, by C. Cortney Joyner and Mark Jordan Legan.

SUPPLEMENTAL BOOKLET - Features a couple of essays by Don Stradley and Toby Roan.

TRAILERS

STILL GALLERY