Madness Lurks in THE LIGHTHOUSE

THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019)

Starring Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe and Valeriia Karaman as the not-so-little mermaid. Directed by Robert Eggers. (109 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😸

Watching The Lighthouse, I couldn’t help but think this is the aesthetic approach Stanley Kubrick should have taken with The Shining, especially since he jettisoned most of the supernatural aspects King’s novel, anyway. Of course, we all know Kubrick was probably not capable of such minimalism.

Robert Eggers is, though. Shooting in chromatic black & white in a nearly extinct aspect ratio (1:19) establishes an oppressive, claustrophobic tone right away. We feel the isolation of the film’s only two characters before we even meet them: crusty, cantankerous lighthouse keeper Thomas Wake (Willem Dafoe) and newly hired-hand Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), the latter of whom appears to be trying to escape his past.

A 19^th Century New England lighthouse is already an ideal setting for a horror film, even more so for depicting a descent into madness, which is ultimately scarier than less tangible terrors. But what’s interesting about The Lighthouse is – if one were so inclined – it could still be taken on face value as a supernatural horror film. But what would be the fun in that?

Willem sometimes needs burping.

Instead, the isolation slowly drives Wake and Winslow mad, exacerbated by their already adversarial relationship, no-small-amount of booze and a storm that delays the monthly supply ship. However, since Wake already seems a few cans short of a six-pack, maybe it’s only Winslow who’s losing his grip on reality. The story unfolds from his point of view and the increasingly disturbing hallucinations are all his. One could even go out on a limb to suggest Wake himself is just another product of Winslow’s delusions. A relatively weak argument, but there is some circumstantial evidence.

And if Eggers’ The Witch veered from the beaten path, The Lighthouse doesn’t even set foot on it. In the disc’s behind-the-scenes documentary, Pattinson stated he was looking for something weird. Well, young sir, mission accomplished. Nearly every aspect of the film – both visually and narratively – is fascinatingly bizarre, reciprocated by all-in performances from both leads. Dafoe’s no stranger to such roles, but Pattinson is turning into a really interesting actor, something none of us would have predicted 10 years ago.

All of which means The Lighthouse is likely to spark plenty of love-it-or-loathe-it debates, which automatically renders it a unique film worth checking out by adventurous horror fans. Unpredictable, maddening, ambiguous and surreal – even quite funny, on occasion – one thing the film definitely isn't is boring.

EXTRA KIBBLES

"THE LIGHTHOUSE: A DARK & STORMY TALE” - Considering its unique technical aspects, this is a pretty interesting behind-the-scenes doc, running nearly 40 minutes.

AUDIO COMMENTARY – By Director/Co-writer Robert Eggers.

DELETED SCENES

DIGITAL COPY

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

THE POOP SCOOP: New Year's Kibbles

The Original FAIL SAFE (1964) on Blu-ray 1/28 from Criterion Collection

This unnerving procedural thriller painstakingly details an all-too-plausible nightmare scenario in which a mechanical failure jams the United States military’s chain of command and sends the country hurtling toward nuclear war with the Soviet Union. Working from a contemporary best seller, screenwriter Walter Bernstein and director Sidney Lumet wrench harrowing suspense from the doomsday fears of the Cold War era, making the most of a modest budget and limited sets to create an atmosphere of clammy claustrophobia and astronomically high stakes. Starring Henry Fonda as a coolheaded U.S. president and Walter Matthau as a trigger-happy political theorist, Fail Safe is a long-underappreciated alarm bell of a film, sounding an urgent warning about the deadly logic of mutually assured destruction. 

 

COUNTDOWN Available on Digital 1/7 & Blu-ray and DVD 1/21

What if your phone could tell you when you’re going to die? Would you want to know? There’s a killer new app in COUNTDOWN, the terrifyingly original and inventive horror-thriller from STXfilms and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. The film follows a young nurse who downloads an app that claims to predict exactly when a person is going to die. With only three days left to live and death closing in, she must find a way to save her life before time runs out. Combining “jump scares around every corner” (Kimber Myers, Los Angeles Times) and intense suspense, COUNTDOWN chronicles a frightening twist on the consequence of technology’s invasion of our lives. 

 

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray & DVD 1/21

Set one decade after the events of the first film, ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP finds Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), and Wichita (Emma Stone) working together as a well-oiled, zombie-killing machine with a new home in the now-vacant White House. These four slayers must face off against the many new kinds of zombies that have evolved since the first movie, as well as some new human survivors. But most of all, they have to face the growing pains of their own snarky, makeshift family. The bonus materials for ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP include audio commentary by Ruben Fleischer, a hilarious blooper reel, nine alternate & extended scenes, and several behind-the-scenes featurettes diving into the making of the film and more!

 

BLACK AND BLUE on Blu-ray & DVD 1/21

BLACK AND BLUE is a fast-paced action-thriller about a rookie cop (Academy Award nominee Naomie Harris) who inadvertently captures the murder of a young drug dealer on her body cam. After realizing that the murder was committed by corrupt cops, she teams up with the one person from her community who is willing to help her (Tyrese Gibson) as she tries to escape the criminals out for revenge and the police who are desperate to destroy the incriminating footage.

 

PARASITE on Blu-ray 1/28

Meet the Park family, the picture of aspirational wealth. And the Kim family, rich in street smarts but not much else. Be it chance or fate, these two houses are brought together and the Kims sense a golden opportunity. Masterminded by college-aged Ki-woo, the Kim children expediently install themselves as tutor and art therapist to the Parks. Soon, a symbiotic relationship forms between the two families. The Kims provide "indispensable" luxury services while the Parks obliviously bankroll their entire household. When a parasitic interloper threatens the Kims' newfound comfort, a savage, underhanded battle for dominance breaks out, threatening to destroy the fragile ecosystem between the Kims and the Parks. By turns darkly hilarious and heart-wrenching, Parasite showcases a modern master at the top of his game. 

 

TERMINATOR: DARK FATE on Blu-ray 1/28

Decades after Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) prevented Judgment Day, a lethal new Terminator is sent to eliminate the future leader of the resistance. In a fight to save mankind, battle-hardened Sarah Connor teams up with an unexpected ally (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and an enhanced super soldier to stop the deadliest Terminator yet. Humanity's fate hangs in the balance in this action-packed thrill ride from Tim Miller, the Director of Deadpool, and Producer James Cameron.

Marathon MAID

JOAN THE MAID (1994)

Starring Sandrine Bonnaire, André Marcon, Jean-Louis Richard, Olivier Cruveiller, Baptiste Roussillon. Directed by Jacques Rivette. (336 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM COHEN MEDIA GROUP

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😸

My first experience with director Jacques Rivette was reviewing Cohen Media’s restoration of La Belle Noiseuse, a 4-hour film about a frustrated artist painting a nude. A daunting task, but it turned out to be surprisingly compelling (and not because of the nudity). Marathon movies are sort-of a trademark of Rivette’s and his next, Joan the Maid, is even longer. But even at five-and-half-hours – to say nothing of a complete lack of traditional action one typically associates with historical epics – this is an interesting film, though it does require some serious commitment by the viewer.

Originally released as two separate films – and presented on Blu-ray as such – this is another re-telling of Joan of Arc, dominated by an impressive, dedicated performance from Sandrine Bonnaire as the titular character.

JOAN THE MAID 1: THE BATTLES - The subtitle is a little misleading, with only one actual battle depicted on-screen. Even then, it’s a fleeting skirmish, and a rather clumsily-executed one at that. However, one also gets the impression that, with the armies' lumbering armor and unwieldy weapons, this is probably a pretty accurate depiction of reality. The film focuses primary on Jeanne d’Arc’s journey. Driven by her godly visions, she appeals to Charles, Dauphine of France (Andre Marcon), to lead a French revolt against the British so he can assume the throne as the rightful king. She faces a lot of opposition, of course, but also earns a loyal following along the way, particularly from those who choose fight alongside her.

Joan the Emo.

JOAN THE MAID 2: THE PRISONS - Part 2 gets off to a shaky start with the crowning of Charles as the new king, which isn’t recognized by the British still occupying the country. Running over 20 minutes, the ritual is depicted in excruciating detail, essentially bringing the narrative to a grinding halt. It’s the only time the film is truly boring and could have easily been trimmed to a few short minutes without impacting the story whatsoever. The remainder unfolds sort-of like the final act of Braveheart without the blood & body parts. Jeanne is captured, betrayed, imprisoned and...well, we know the rest. The trial is sort-of a kangaroo court, where her faith and womanhood are questioned, yet even with the prospect of a horrible death, Jeanne remains steadfast in her beliefs. Following the trial, her incarceration in a British prison is by-far the most emotionally harrowing part of the film.

Jeanne herself is not depicted as the deified historical figure we grew up reading about. She’s sometimes stubborn, confrontational and maybe even a little over-confident. While there are many moments when the viewer thinks her unshakable faith is simply the product of a delusional mind, she’s a remarkably complex character, sympathetically portrayed by Bonnaire, who’s in nearly every scene.

Considering Joan the Maid is almost like binge-watching an entire season of a Netflix series, it helps to know in-advance that Rivette’s prolonged narrative tendencies are here in abundance (and this isn’t even his longest film). The story is filled with so much exposition – often directed right at the audience by various characters – that it requires your constant attention. But as exhausting as that can be at times, it’s ultimately worth the effort. A unique and interesting presentation of a revered historical figure.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU is...Forgettable

I’LL NEVER FORGET YOU: THE LAST 72 HOURS OF LYNYRD SKYNYRD (2019)

Featuring Gene Odom, Leslie Hawkins, Craig Reed, Lynda Haun, Dwain Easley. Directed by Jonathan Braucher. (63 min)

ON DVD FROM MVD VISUAL

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😾

Be forewarned: You will not hear any Lynyrd Skynyrd music in this film, and aside from a former back-up singer, no surviving members of the band participated.

Instead, I’ll Never Forget You focuses on the plane crash which killed several prominent members in 1977, as well as the friendship between lead singer Ronnie Van Zant and bodyguard Gene Odom, who wrote the book this film is based on. The crash remains one of rock’s greatest tragedies, but ain’t exactly an unsolved mystery. Unless one is interested in a computer-simulated depiction of the crash itself, there isn’t anything revealing here.

Odom himself suggests he suspected something was wrong with the plane, but doesn’t add anything that hasn’t already been well documented in previous books, documentaries and TV programs. What’s left are interviews with peripherals who either had ties to the band or were involved in the subsequent rescue operation (who mostly just describe what they saw). The generic southern rock score sounds sort-of like Skynyrd, but it’s obvious permission wasn’t given to use their actual music, not even for the brief concert footage.

Running a scant 63 minutes, I’ll Never Forget You plays more like one of those sensationalist tabloid documentaries that Reelz airs to pad its schedule (including the usual ‘dramatic re-enactments’). You’ll learn little about the band itself and there far are better Lynyrd Skynyrd docs out there.

EXTRA KIBBLES

40TH ANNIVERSARY EVENT

MUSIC VIDEO – “Cold Dark Mississippi Night,” by some band called Tennessee Iron.

"GENE’S FISHING ADVICE” - Really?

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH...LIKE SHARING THE BED WITH THE DOG.

THE BEST (and Worst) STUFF WE REVIEWED IN 2019

We reviewed a slew of Blu-Rays, DVDs, books and CDs in 2019. Time to take a look back at the best & worst of them. While we have seen more movies than the Surgeon General recommends, our lists consist strictly of titles which were sent to us for review purposes.

PURR-R-R...THE BEST: We reviewed some good stuff this year, but the following titles were better than taunting a mouse to death:

10. AT THE DRIVE-IN - I suspect the day will come when the last of America’s drive-ins will make-way for an industrial park or Walmart store, but hope the fine folks at the Mahoning Drive-In will be around to prove me wrong. Their story is a must-see for anyone passionate about movies.

 

9. THE BUSTER KEATON COLLECTION, VOL. 1 - The General is silent filmmaking at its absolute best and remains massively entertaining today (once you get past the Confederate Army portrayed as the good guys). While decidedly more restrained, Steamboat Bill, Jr. is another charmer and Keaton’s considerable comic gifts are here in abundance. This set is light on bonus features, but the 4K restoration is stunning and both films feature wonderful orchestrated scores by Carl Davis. 

 

8. THE BIG CLOCK - As film noir goes, The Big Clock isn’t a perfect fit – there’s too much breezy humor present for that – but has enough of the same inherent aesthetic and narrative stamps to draw favorable comparisons to the best the genre has to offer. It also happens to be a hell of an entertaining film.

 

7. LORDS OF CHAOS – Lords of Chaos is a luridly-compelling experience, perhaps even more-so for those unfamiliar with Mayhem’s dubious mark in heavy metal history. In fact, since the film isn’t really about the music, fans of the band or black metal in-general might be put-off at how derisively both are depicted. For everyone else with strong stomachs, get ready for a wild ride.

 

6. COLD PURSUIT - Liam Neeson has been channeling his inner Bronson for so long that one could be forgiven for assuming Cold Pursuit has him playing yet another one-man wrecking crew. But don’t let the generic title fool you. This is a highly amusing black comedy that just happens to have some great action.

 

5. THE THIN MAN – One of those old black & white films you show to people who claim to hate old black & white films. This classic comedy-mystery isn’t simply amusing for a 75-year-old movie. It’s as sharply-written, witty and laugh-out-loud funny as any movie, regardless of decade.

 

4. ROCKETMAN – Elton John’s life and songs are basically re-imagined, not only for dramatic purposes, but to turn his story into an epic musical fantasy with the glamour and audacity befitting of its subject. The film is filled with brilliantly-conceived musical numbers featuring his best-known songs. Taron Egerton’s performance is every bit as remarkable as Rami Malek’s portrayal of Freddie Mercury, plus he does his own singing. 

 

3. THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN - Despite its age, length and complete lack of traditional action, The Andromeda Strain remains an exemplary example ‘70s-era science-fiction, perhaps because it doesn’t feel like science-fiction. It has been released on Blu-ray before, but this version gives it a considerable facelift with a nice 4K scan restoration, remastered audio and a few nifty new extras to go along with some substantial vintage features. An all-around great release and highly recommended for anyone who loves smart, plausible science-fiction. 

 

2. APOCALYPSE NOW FINAL CUT – For a classic film that continues to be extensively discussed, debated and written about, Apocalypse Now Final Cut adds more fuel to the fire. This author feels the new version is as close to perfect as the film will ever get. Opinions vary, of course, which is part of the fun of having all three cuts collected as evidence. For that reason, this beautifully-packaged set is a must-own even for those who’ve already purchased the film several times.

 

1. ROBOCOP - RoboCop defies single genre classification, successfully combining traditional science-fiction, horror, classic tragedy, dark comedy, sharp satire, cultural commentary and, of course, good old fashioned revenge, all of which are as timely today as they were 32 years ago. It has been released on video plenty of times before, including some editions that were pretty impressive in their own right. But this one is so comprehensive and beautifully packaged that double-dipping should be a no-brainer.

BLEH...THE WORST: As much as we love movies, there are times when reviewing them feels like an actual job. The following titles deserve to be buried in the litter box:

10. SLAUGHTERHOUSE RULEZ - Don’t be fooled by the impressively misleading cover featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost along with a critical quote inviting comparisons to Shaun of the Dead. With its pandering, pointlessly-stylized title, Slaughterhouse Rulez doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same breath. 

 

9. ICEMAN: THE TIME TRAVELER – While the original Iceman wasn't exactly a feather in Donnie Yen's cap, this tepid sequel is one of the worst films in his lengthy filmography. Though elaborately produced, it's undone by a convoluted story, erratic pacing and an uncharacteristically indifferent performance by its star. 

 

8. SCARED STIFF - Scared Stiff simply reeks of the decade from which it sprang, from the synth score down to Mary Page Keller’s Sheena Easton mullet. The faithful few will certainly enjoy Arrow’s 2K restoration and great supplementary material, but time has not been kind to this one. Good for some unintended chuckles. 

 

7. MALEVOLENCE 3: KILLER – A tired rehash of every teen slasher flick that ever oozed out of the 80s. The characters are walking cliches, as are the jump scares and the Carpenteresque score. Devoid of tension or atmosphere, the entire film feels hastily slapped together. 

 

6. THE CHILL FACTOR - There’s a reason Christopher Webster never directed another film and why none of his actors were ever heard from again. The Chill Factor derivative, plodding and creatively vapid, its dead-serious tone  undone by laughable dialogue and jaw-droppingly terrible performances. The whole thing looks like it was cynically cranked-out to get onto video shelves as fast as possible. 

 

5. THE HUSTLE – An inferior remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, the story is completely free of surprises, its four writers unable to come up with a unique spin on a familiar tale. That might make The Hustle a reheated dish of comfort food for undemanding viewers. It still tastes like leftovers, though, including Wilson’s it’s-funny-because-I’m-fat schtick. 

 

4. LADYWORLD - For the most part, Ladyworld succumbs under the weight of its own pretentious ambitions. The film is stuck with a drab setting, underdeveloped & unlikable characters, superficially-abstract dialogue and – hands down - the most grating, obnoxious “music” score of the year. 

 

3. THE HAUNTING OF SHARON TATE – It probably goes without saying that the concept of The Haunting of Sharon Tate is in pretty poor taste. But dubious real-life inspiration notwithstanding, The Haunting of Sharon Tate is simply a dreary, repetitive and ultimately derivative slasher film. 

 

2. KUNG FU MONSTER - For a movie titled Kung Fu Monster, there’s damn little of either. And that’s the least of its problems. This is one of those movies where the cast and crew are clearly having a lot more fun than we are. It might amuse undiscriminating 12-year-olds, but most others will likely be insulted by the filmmakers’ apparent contempt for the audience. A depressing waste of time and talent. 

 

1. ACCIDENT – The title could cheekily refer to how clumsily the film was thrown together. Accident is almost completely devoid of narrative logic, plausibility, pacing and continuity. Which is a shame because it's technically competent and the basic concept is solid. Instead, what could have been a tense, tight little thriller ends up being a mind-numbing assault on the viewer's intelligence.

THE POOP SCOOP: Christopher Nolan's TENET Movie Trailer

TAP THE DATE TO VIEW THE TRAILER

Sympathy for JUDY

JUDY (2019)

Starring Renee Zellweger, Jessie Buckley, Finn Wittrock, Rufus Sewell, Michael Gambon, Richard Cordery. Directed by Rupert Goold. (118 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM LIONSGATE

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😸

Right away, this film makes one thing quite clear: Judy Garland was doomed from the start.

The opening scene sees young Judy on the set of The Wizard of Oz, torn between choosing stardom or life as a normal child. Mentor Louis B. Mayer lays it out with the tone of the loving parent – which she never had – but the words of a cold, calculating businessman, essentially saying she’ll amount to nothing without him.

Thus began the journey down that yellow brick road which would ultimately lead to Garland’s death at the age of 47.

But Judy doesn’t chronicle her downward spiral. The film focuses on the final months of her life, when Garland (Renee Zellweger) is a physical and emotional trainwreck. She’s alarmingly unhealthy, dependent on booze and prescription drugs to keep going. She loves her two children but is essentially homeless and can’t take care of them, ultimately losing custody to her most recent ex-husband, Sidney Luft (Rufus Sewell). And despite still possessing a tremendous singing voice, Garland is virtually unemployable.

Until she’s offered a series of shows in London, where she’s still very popular. Initially reluctant, she takes the offer but proves to be wildly unpredictable both on and off the stage. Despite efforts by hired assistant Rosalyn (Jessie Buckley) and soon-to-be-fifth husband Mickey Deans (Finn Wittrock) to keep her focused, Judy slips further into drunkenness, depression and mental exhaustion, burning most of her remaining bridges along the way.

"Smoooooke on the waaaaater..."

But rather than focusing on the more lurid aspects of this time in her life, Judy presents its subject as the tragic figure she really was. Just a few key flashbacks of her childhood – every aspect of it controlled by studio moguls, including her drug use – renders the entire film rather heartbreaking. As presented here, all Garland ultimately wanted was to love and be loved. But in the end, little was left but self-pity and remorse.

Much has already been written and said about Zellweger’s affecting performance, which is indeed the main reason the film rises above its fairly rudimentary screenplay and some suspicious contrivances to press all the right emotional buttons. Playing Garland as bitchy and endearing, forceful and needy, it’s a complex portrayal that goes well beyond mere caricature. She also does her own singing and if you squint hard enough, her resemblance to Garland is sometimes uncanny (especially when she’s on stage).

Zellweger has already won a few awards for her performance, as well as a Golden Globe Nomination. At this point, yet-another Oscar nod appears to be in the bag, too. Since biographic dramas usually sink or swim with their star, all of those accolades are well-deserved. She gives Judy the poignant punch needed to make it memorable.

EXTRA KIBBLES

PROMOTIONAL FEATURETTE - “From the Heart: The Making of Judy”

IMAGE GALLERY

DVD & DIGITAL COPIES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

Rest in Peace, Anna Karina

Anna Karina (1940-2019)

FREAKS: Why Be Normal?

FREAKS (2018)

Starring Jack Black Emile Hirsch, Lexy Kolher, Bruce Dern, Amanda Crew, Grace Park. Directed by Adam Stein & Zach Lipovsky. (105 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM WELL GO USA

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😸

7-year-old Chloe (Lexy Kolker) has been a shut-in her entire life, kept in a run-down old house by her obsessively protective father (Emile Hirsch). He says it’s for her own safety because she’s one of the dreaded “Abnormals” (a.k.a. Freaks), who are hunted and killed because of their unique abilities...just like her mother was. As we soon learn, Chloe’s special talent is getting inside the minds of others and making them bend to her will.

But Chloe grows skeptical and resentful of Dad’s over-protectiveness, eventually venturing out on her own at the urging of “Mr. Snowcone” (Bruce Dern), who’s parked in an ice cream truck outside the house. He also claims Chloe’s mother is actually still alive, held prisoner at a facility called The Mountain. Snowcone turns out to be Chloe’s grandfather – and also an Abnormal – and wants to go on the offensive, using her to infiltrate The Mountain and rescue her mother. Dad totally opposes this, preferring to remain hidden, especially once government agents led by Cecelia Ray (Grace Park) become aware of their presence.

Emile Hirsch is a bit...tenacious.

If the synopsis evokes a bit of deja vu, it’s because the basic concept of Freaks is remarkably similar to X-Men (back when that franchise was still interesting). But while it lacks the same budget and visual fireworks, Freaks compensates with a trio of terrific main characters dropped into a story that reveals its secrets with admirable creativity and patience. Similar patience might be required from some viewers, especially with a first act that plays more like a surreal, deliberately-paced horror film. However, once the film puts all its narrative cards on the table, the momentum picks up considerably, as do the stakes and overall level of bloody violence. 

 

Though Freaks is darker and more visceral than a typical X-Men film, one can’t help but think this is the type of origin story that franchise should have gotten. Great performances help, of course. Once we get over his uncanny resemblance to Jack Black, Hirsch convincingly conveys a father’s desperation to protect his child at any cost, even if he’s sometimes wrong. Dern plays yet-another cantankerous old man, but hey, he’s got it down cold and has more than his share of amusing moments. But the success of the film lies squarely on young Kolker’s shoulders, who’s more than up to the task. Appearing in nearly every scene, she’s remarkable.

Being that it’s sort of the antithesis of X-Men, I suppose some tenuous comparisons could be made to Brightburn. But where that film was mostly just a gore-soaked horror show, Freaks offers an intriguing spin on a familiar concept. The result is a neat little sci-fi thriller with a smart script and engaging characters.

EXTRA KIBBLES

BEHIND THE SCENES FEATURETTE

AUDIO COMMENTARY – By the directors

2 TRAILERS

DVD COPY 

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

COME ON FEEL THE NOIZE: Born to Be Mild

COME ON FEEL THE NOIZE (2019)

Featuring Jimmy Page, Ian Gillan, James Hetfield, Nikki Sixx, Ozzy Osbourne, David Draiman, Michael Starr, Dee Snider, Michael Monroe, Roger Glover, Scott Ian, Doro Pesch, Biff Byford, John Corabi. Directed by Jörg Sonntag. (90 min)

ON DVD FROM MVD VISUAL

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😼

A lot of Noize, to be sure, but not much substance.

Come on Feel the Noize purports to be “the story of how rock became metal,” an interesting enough topic, though it's covered much more thoroughly – with more focus – in some of Sam Dunn’s documentaries. The film actually ends up being kind-of rudderless, particularly at the point where it delves so heavily into how punk became new wave that Blondie ends up with more screen time than Judas Priest.

Though haphazardly assembled, a lot of seldom seen performances from legendary artists are included, much of it lifted from a German TV show. One gets the impression the narrative was built around footage the producers were able to acquire, which might explain the near absence or mention of several indisputably influential bands. On the other hand, this may be the first and only opportunity to see Motorhead performing “Orgasmatron” with Lemmy slathered in corpse paint. That alone might be worth the price of admission for some viewers.

Sorry, no subtitles.

Also featured are many interviews, including the one and only Jimmy Page, not generally known to show up in these things. Too bad he only appears for a brief comment or two, while Michael Starr (from the parody band, Steel Panther) is given an inordinate amount of screen time to philosophize about rock & roll. In fact, the film eventually ceases exploring metal’s origins altogether, content to showcase a hodge-podge of current artists, few of whom add anything substantial to the genre’s evolution or history.

Still, it’s the rare performance footage that makes Come on Feel the Noize worth checking out. We’ve all seen Led Zeppelin perform “Whole Lotta Love” before, but probably not in a video punctuated by female nudity (gotta love Germany’s decidedly more-relaxed broadcast standards). As a documentary, however, it frequently strays off topic and ignores too many significant artists & milestones to be considered anything more than a superficial overview.

EXTRA KIBBLES

IMAGE GALLERY

TRAILER

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.