Do You Remember STIGMATA?

STIGMATA (Blu-ray)

1999 / 102 min

FROM CAPELIGHT PICTURES

Review by Joey, the Sudden Cat🙀

I watched Stigmata back in the day, but until revisiting it for this Blu-ray review, couldn’t have told you a damn thing about it. There was nothing in the film that resonated enough to make it all that memorable. 25 years later, I felt like I was watching it for the first time.

And you know what? It still isn’t all that memorable.

Which is not the same as saying it flat-out sucks. Stigmata is competently made, is reasonably well acted and has a premise that, in the right hands, has great horror potential. However, I suspect it was put together by a committee of craftsmen who had no clue about how to make an effective horror film.

The basic plot has atheist hairdresser Frankie Paige (Patricia Arquette) suffering from the titular ailment, in which the victim bears wounds similar to those inflicted upon Jesus during the crucifixion. They don’t appear all at once, of course, and most of the horror sequences feature Frankie violently receiving these wounds. I’m no filmmaker, but do know that scenes intended to instill terror shouldn’t be shot & cut like a Michael Bay action movie.

Looks like Frankie's gonna do some re-gifting this year.

Vatican investigator Father Kiernan (Gabriel Byrne) is appointed to investigate, while Frankie begins to show the usual signs of possession…not of a demon, but a dead priest whose stolen rosary was given to her. It’s not adequately explained why a clergy’s spirit - no matter how pissed - would subject anyone to pain, possession, levitation and fire just to reveal an ancient document containing the gospel of Jesus himself. Sounds a bit excessive.

But that’s just nitpicking. All the flash, fireworks and hyperactive editing in the world can't mask uninspired storytelling. Stigmata offers nothing we haven’t seen before, in movies or a well-made heavy metal video. On the plus side, it’s so forgettable that one could revisit it every couple of years and feel like they’re watching a brand new movie.

EXTRA KIBBLES

DIVINE RITES: THE STORY OF STIGMATA - Part making-of featurette, part speculative look at the history of stigmatics.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director Rupert Wainwright.

DELETED SCENES

ALTERNATE ENDING

TRAILER

THE ROUNDUP: NO WAY OUT: Some Things Never Get Old

THE ROUNDUP: NO WAY OUT (Blu-ray)

2023 / 101 min

FROM MPI MEDIA GROUP

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😺

Some things never get old…date night at Starbucks with my wife, breakfast food for dinner, the Cowboys choking during the playoffs…

…and Don Lee pummeling bad guys into submission. 

The Roundup: No Way Out is the third film of a franchise (with a fourth on the way) featuring Lee as Ma Seok-do, a tough, burly detective whose most formidable skill is beating the shit out of people. I still haven’t seen the first film, The Outlaws, which isn’t available on physical media in the U.S., but 2022’s The Roundup was among the best action films of that year, a deft combination of action and comedy anchored by Lee’s terrific performance (and he’s a lot more agile than his heftiness would suggest). Best of all, watching the first film wasn’t required to enjoy this one.

If you haven’t seen The Roundup, it’s widely available and definitely worth seeking out. But if you have, No Way Out is just as entertaining, with Lee returning to take on a bevy of bad guys while his subordinates try to keep up. This time, a crew of corrupt cops led by Joo Sung-cheol (Lee Joon-hyuk) is trying to sell 20 kilos of a new drug called Hiper to a Chinese triad, which he stole from a vicious Yakuza organization. Following an arrest by Lee and his team, the package is stolen yet again. Now everyone is looking for it…the good cops, the bad cops and the Yakuza boss’ most ruthless assassin, Ricky (Munetaka Aoki). 

Some fashion choices are punchworthy.

The particulars of the plot are more intricate than that, perhaps overly so. But while the story is interesting, it ultimately takes a backseat to the action and characters. Lee continues to make Ma an engaging, atypical action hero. There’s no finesse in his methods, mainly just bluster and brute force, both of which are served up in sequences that are both rousing and funny. But he’s not the whole show here. Like The Roundup, he’s pitted against formidable antagonists, while his allies - willingly assisting him or not - are engaging as either beleaguered straight-men or comic relief.  

Other than a final scene which apparently sets-up the next film, The Roundup: No Way Out presents a self-contained story. Like The Roundup, the only connecting thread is the protagonist’s punishing approach to police procedure, which never gets old. As long as Don Lee is willing and able to keep dispensing justice with his fists (and no guns!), this is one franchise that probably won’t wear out its welcome.