I didn’t know kombucha was an actual thing. A tea-like beverage that contains bacteria, fungus and other weird fermented shit, it looks like something I once found pooled up under my house (with stuff swimming in it). Though people who consume this stuff will probably boast about its health benefits, I’ve come to the conclusion that kombucha joins bubble tea, kale smoothies and battery acid on my personal shortlist of things I’d never willingly drink.
Luke (Terrence Carey) shouldn’t have drank it either, and the titular beverage he pounds back in Kombucha contains something worse than the stuff you’ll find on the shelves of Trader Joe’s (maybe). A struggling musician, Luke lands a high-paying job with Symbio, a company that specializes in making other companies more efficient. He’s also expected by his zealous boss, Kelsey (Claire McFadden), to drink lots of kombucha, which all the other employees do to boost their energy and ambition.
Though reluctant at first, Luke gives in and starts drinking the stuff. Sure enough, he’s suddenly a workaholic and totally killing it at the office. However, Symbio’s brand of kombucha come with ominous (and nasty) side effects, which soon worries his estranged girlfriend, Elyse (Paige Bourne). After meeting with Tammy (Charin Alvarez), the distraught mother of a woman who died while working at Symbio, Elyse discovers the cause of Luke’s gruesome physical and psychological changes. Trust me, it's icky.
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| "It was your turn to bring the donuts." |
But the film is more than a special effects freakshow. While the story is a bit convoluted at times, it’s generally pretty interesting, aided considerably by good characters and decent performances (especially Carey’s). And if nothing else, Kombucha cements my refusal to ever drink the stuff. I don’t give a damn what the potential health benefits might be. Strong black coffee will do just fine.
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