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KNOCK OFF (4K UHD) - It’s ironic that the only time I ever found Rob Schneider funny was in a film where he’s more or less trying to play it serious. But there’s a reason for that. Not only is Schneider one of SNL’s least funny alumni, he can’t escape his own shadow. At least the real star of the film, Jean-Claude Van Damme, has always been aware of his limitations, dutifully serving as the guy producers go to when they can’t afford a bigger action hero. Of all of his fightfests, Knock Off might conceptually be the weirdest, with a story that tries to pass him off as a fashion designer while throwing in exploding dolls and ‘nanobombs’ stitched into trousers. Director Tsui Hark puts together a few decent action scenes, but this is a far cry from his Hong Kong glory days. While good for shits & giggles (often at its own expense), this one is mostly for Van Damme completists or those who still think Schneider was robbed of an Oscar for The Hot Chick. The former will be pleased with this impressive 4K transfer, as well as the big batch of new and archival bonus features, including a mini poster (1998/88 min/MVD Visual). KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼
LONDON CALLING (DVD) - Man, talk about your misleading covers! The box art and plot synopsis suggest yet another generic, low-wattage action flick starring some guy you’ve seen in other stuff, though nothing that stood out because of him. In this case, that guy would be Josh Duhamel, probably best known for the TV show, Las Vegas, as well as a supporting role in a batch of Transformers flicks. But lo and behold, not only is London Calling an action-comedy, it’s a pretty damn funny one and Duhamel is a big reason why. He plays Tommy Ward, a once-elite hitman who kills the wrong guy…that just happens to be related to a British mob boss. With a price on his head, he retreats to LA, but wants to return to London where is family is. His current employer offers to make that possible on one condition…that Tommy takes the man’s nerdy, socially awkward teenage son, Julian (Jeremy Ray Taylor), on his next hit in hopes of manning the kid up. The two make an engging pair, their relationship being both amusing and endearing. Though there are plenty of laughs, the movie doesn’t skimp on the action and bloody violence. A minor gem worth checking out. (2025/109 min/Quiver Distribution).
KITTY CONSENSUS: 😺😺😺
THE VISITOR (4K UHD) - This one is a strong candidate for the craziest '70s film not directed by Ken Russell or Alejandro Jodorowski. The Visitor comes courtesy of producer Ovidio G. Assonitis, the man behind such kooky copycat classics as Tentacles and Beyond the Door. Like those films, it’s an Italian-produced knockoff that liberally borrows from American blockbusters. However, this horror/sci-fi mashup must be seen to be believed. Nowhere else will you find aliens, the antichrist, exploding basketballs, killer kids, Franco Nero as Jesus, Glenn Ford bested by a bird and an clearly shitfaced Sam Peckinpah in a cameo as an abortion doctor. These tasty ingredients are stirred into a concoction that’s as baffling as it is entertaining. With surprisingly decent production values and not-half-bad special effects, the film also boasts a pretty solid cast that includes Shelley Winters, Mel Ferrer, Lance Henriksen, cult film cutie Joanne Nail and legendary director John Huston (whose character defies description). Adding to the fun are some great bonus features, including two visual essays and interviews with a few people involved in the film whose opinions are very candid. (1979/109 min/Arrow Video).
KITTY CONSENSUS: 😼😼😼
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