MEG 2: THE TRENCH (4K): More Meg Mayhem...Eventually

MEG 2: THE TRENCH (4K UHD)

2023 / 116 min

FROM WARNER BROS / #InPartnershipwithWB

Review by Tiger the Terrible😼

As a fan of Steve Alten’s Meg novel series, I’d been looking forward to the long-gestating movie adaptation of the first book for years. Finally, after a couple of decades in development hell, with numerous directors and studios attached to it, The Meg finally hit screens in 2018. 

It was a complete bastardization of the novel, turning its traumatized, beleaguered protagonist, Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham), into a badass man of action. Intriguing subplots & character conflicts were removed or dumbed down, the setting was completely changed and the violence (gory and potent in the book) was severely watered-down to earn a PG-13 rating.

I ended up not minding too much. This wasn’t the first time Hollywood bought a book and threw away everything but the cover. Besides, The Meg turned out to be great fun, with excellent visual effects, epic shark action and some amusingly outrageous set-pieces. While no Jaws (what is?), it was nice to see a major studio once again put some actual effort into a killer shark movie. And even though Statham was Jonas Taylor in-name-only, he was thoroughly enjoyable in the role.

I normally don’t pay much attention to a film's box office performance, but was pleased The Meg became a surprise hit. That meant a sequel was inevitable and Alten’s second novel, The Trench, is the best in the entire series. Still, I was fully prepared for the sequel to retain little beyond the title.

Sure enough, Meg 2: The Trench deviates so much from the novel that the screenwriters share their own story credit. Not only is it filled with new characters Alten never conceived, most of the actual plot is different. The only remaining aspects of the novel are Jonas, his sidekick Mac (Cliff Curtis) and the discovery of an illegal mining facility in the Mariana Trench, as well as more megalodons and a variety of other deadly creatures.

Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay is overrated. 

Yeah, more megs…eventually. Aside from an amusing prologue set during the cretaceous period (which is actually how the first novel began), it’s a looong time before they significantly figure into the story. The entire second act takes place in and around the secret facility, including the protagonists’ attempt to get there on-foot before running out of air. 

Then they must deal with stupidly written villains, especially Montes (Sergio Peris-Mencheta), a mercenary with a personal grudge against Jonas. And rather than simply kill everybody and be done with it, the bad guys talk incessantly, allowing Jones plenty of time to foil them. Sure, there’s an occasional animal attack, but both narratively and aesthetically, the entire middle act is a convoluted bore, with underwater sequences so murky and rapidly edited that it’s tough to determine what’s going on. 

However, Meg 2 is rescued by a bonkers final act. A massive mining explosion (caused by Montes) tears open the thermocline layer that separates the trench from the open ocean, allowing the megs, a giant octopus and hundreds of amphibious lizards called “Snappers” to reach the surface. All of them head directly to a vacation resort called Fun Island (seriously), where hundreds of tourists are enjoying sun & surf. Jonas and friends rush by boat to warn everyone, while Montes and greedy ringleader Driscoll (Sienna Guillory) head there to eliminate witnesses (though I think that ship has sailed by this point).

The entire Fun Island attack sequence is a delirious good time that borders on camp. The octopus makes short work of a pier and chows down on tourists, as do the three megs, sometimes swallowing rafts and victims whole (with a couple of hilarious point-of-view shots from inside a meg’s mouth). However, the land isn’t safe either because snappers are everywhere, mostly taking down Driscoll’s thugs at opportune moments. Even Pippin, the hapless little pooch from the first film, returns for an amusing cameo. 

Elsewhere, Mac and new major character Jiuming (Wu Jing) practically become a comedy team as they try to procure a helicopter. Their banter and bickering is genuinely funny. But the piece de resistance has Jonas hopping on a jet-ski to singlehandedly take-on the megs. Almost none of this is plausible, but since when did that ever matter in these films? The outrageous climax is our reward for slogging through the first interminable hour. 

Being that nobody was planning on remaining faithful to the book anyway, it’s too bad the movie doesn’t simply cut to the chase and begin on Fun Island. I think most viewers would gladly trade in all the “trench” warfare for more epic animal action. Still, Meg 2: The Trench is ultimately worth seeing…we just have to wait a lot longer than necessary to get to the good stuff.

   

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - The Making of Meg 2: The Trench; Up from the Depths: Even More Beasts

DIGITAL COPY

3 DAYS IN MALAY is a Minor Skirmish

3 DAYS IN MALAY (Blu-ray)

2023 / 99 min

FROM WELL GO USA

Review by Tiger the Terrible😼

Another World War II movie “inspired by a true story” (take that with a grain of salt), 3 Days in Malay doesn’t have enough story or budget to sustain its premise but isn’t entirely unwatchable.

Veteran soldier and former boxer John Caputo (Louis Mandylor, who also directs) transfers to an American base in Malay on the eve of an anticipated Japanese attack. It’s also where childhood buddy James (‘Cowboy’ Cerrone) is stationed, but the two have since become estranged. Much of the first half of the film focuses on their conflict, which is only sporadically interesting. This is also when we meet a handful of other soldiers, most of whom exist to be eventual cannon fodder, including a brief love interest for John that’s clumsily inserted into the narrative.

But the meat of the story centers around the impending attack, where the U.S. forces are severely outnumbered. Base leader Sgt. Foley (Peter Dobson) warns the higher-ups of this, yet the Army refuses to provide reinforcements. So it’s up to a small handful of troops to defend the base from supposedly thousands of Japanese soldiers. I say ‘supposedly’ because during the entire three-day siege, we never see more than a dozen or so enemy soldiers on-screen at any time, screaming “Banzai!” as they run straight into American gunfire with little or no attempt to dodge the bullets.

Ever the peacemaker, John ends the conflict by sharing his gum.

These sporadic, low-wattage action sequences exacerbate the overall smallness of the movie, which obviously lacks the financial resources to visually depict such a massive incursion. In between attacks are your standard-issue scenes of comradery in the foxholes, a staple of World War II movies since…well, World War II. Still, the overall performances are actually really good. Despite looking way too old to pass for an Army grunt, Mandylor is congenial and engaging, as is former MMA fighter Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, playing a kindly priest who’s willing to kick ass when required.

3 Days in Malay is one of those movies that probably would’ve been more compelling with a bigger budget and tighter screenplay. But as is, it’s hardly the worst budget-conscious war epic out there. With (very) tempered expectations, the film is a passable time killer. 

PARAMOUNT SCARES, VOLUME 1: The 4K Fear-Fest

PARAMOUNT SCARES, VOLUME 1 (4K UHD)

1967-2022 / 560 min (5 movies)

FROM PARAMOUNT

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

This 4K boxed set collects five horror films released by Paramount over the years. Whether or not they’re the five best horror films is obviously subjective, but it’s hard to argue with the selections since all were hugely successful and (mostly) critical hits. Better yet, in addition to great video & audio upgrades (one offered in 4K for the first time), Paramount Scares Volume 1 throws in some of the coolest physical goodies of any release this year.

Kicking things off is the undisputed classic, Rosemary’s Baby. The oldest film in the collection, it remains a powerfully unnerving experience, ranking right up there with The Exorcist and The Omen as one of Hollywood’s definitive “devil” pictures. While never overtly “scary,” it’s the kind of film that lingers with the viewer long after the credits roll. With the possible exception of Chinatown, this is the best film Roman Polanski ever made and worth seeing again and again.

The original Pet Sematary didn’t exactly wow critics back in 1989, but was a huge hit and one of the more faithful Stephen King adaptations at that point, pulling no punches in depicting the physical and emotional brutality of the original novel. With a mean streak a mile wide, it took us to some dark places few major studio horror films dared at the time, which I suspect was a major factor in drawing the ire of many film critics. Aside from a few ‘80s aesthetic trappings, Pet Sematary remains a potent, disturbing viewing experience and has since become a classic among horror fans. 

2019’s Crawl is an inspired choice for inclusion in this set. With an awesomely simple premise (a young woman and her injured father are trapped under a house with a couple of alligators during a hurricane), not only was this a surprise hit, it turned out to be much better than anyone expected. The film is violent, tension-filled and features engaging characters (including the dog!). While Crawl won’t make anyone forget Jaws, it might be one of the best nature-run-amok horror flicks since then.

Though a bit too heavy on jump-scares, 2022’s Smile is a solid horror film built on a creepy premise, that of a malicious entity that transfers from one human host to another by inducing suicide. With unsettling imagery, a consistently dark tone and an excellent performance by Sosie Bacon, the film sort-of drops the ball at the climax, descending into another CGI fest. But until then, this is a gory good time.

Finally, there’s Paramount’s “mystery title,” released on 4K for the first time (and as of this writing, only available here). Personally, I’d have chosen something else, since I don’t really consider it pure horror (at least compared to the other titles). Still, I imagine a lot of other people loving its inclusion, since both the film and its director have a pretty large fanbase. 

Again, every film looks and sounds great in 4K, with Rosemary’s Baby benefiting most from the transfer. With the exception of the mystery title, they’ve all been released on 4K before with the same bonus features. However, what makes this set great are all the extra goodies. In addition to creative new slipcovers, there’s a sheet of stickers, a collectible pin and, best of all, a special 30-page issue of Fangoria magazine created exclusively for this release, with new and archival articles related to each film.

Of course, you’re gonna have some folks grousing over titles that should have been included (“What? No Friday the 13th? No Dead Zone? No A Quiet Place?”). But it’s called Volume 1 for a reason, kids, so maybe next time. The diverse films chosen for this collection are a great start, especially if you don’t already have them in 4K, making Paramount Scares Volume 1 one of the best home video releases of the year.

EXTRA KIBBLES

“MYSTERY TITLE” - Fifth 4K UHD title (only available in this set).

DIGITAL COPIES - For each title.

BLU-RAY COPIES - Of Rosemary’s Baby, Pet Sematary and the mystery title.

FANGORIA MAGAZINE - An issue with a new article about Rosemary’s Baby and reprints of the others.

“PARAMOUNT SCARES” LOGO PIN

STICKERS - Sheet of stickers related to the films.

ROSEMARY’S BABY

FEATURETTES - Rosemary’s Baby - A Retrospective; Mia and Roman. 

ORIGINAL & 50TH ANNIVERSARY TRAILERS

PET SEMATARY

FEATURETTES - Pet Sematary - Fear and Rememberance; Pet Sematary - Revisitation; Stephen King Territory; The Characters; Filming the Horror.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director Mary Lambert.

IMAGES GALLERIES - Storyboards, behind-the-scenes photos and promotional material.

CRAWL

ALTERNATE OPENING - Never actually filmed, this is an animatic with optional intro.

FEATURETTES - Beneath Crawl; Category 5 Gators - The VFX of Crawl; Alligator Attacks.

DELETED/EXTENDED SCENES

SMILE

FEATURETTES - Something Wrong with Rose - Making Smile; Flies on the Wall - Inside the Score.

“LAURA HASN’T SLEPT” - The original short film on which Smile is based.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director Parker Finn.

DELETED SCENES - With optional commentary by director Parker Finn.

BARBIE: Who Knew?

BARBIE (Blu-ray)

2023 / 114 min

FROM WARNER BROS / #InPartnershipwithWB

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😺

Maybe some of you are like me, a grumpy ol’ cinephile who cynically rolled your eyes upon first learning a live-action movie was being made based on Barbie. This just had to be yet another cash-grab capitalizing on brand name familiarity, aimed squarely at audiences who don’t know any better. The pandering teaser trailer didn’t sway my opinion, either.

But I initially thought the same thing about The Lego Movie, which ended up being one of the best films of 2014, so maybe this one would defy my expectations. Either way, I was about to find out because my wife and daughter insisted we see it in a theater.

I don’t think I’m ready to declare Barbie one of the best films of 2023, but it sure is a lot of fun, especially on the big screen, where its bright and beautiful artifice is best experienced. Even if one still contends this is more of a big, brash product than an actual movie (which I no longer do), it’s a visual wonder…mostly accomplished with actual set & production design rather than CGI. 

"If it's your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."

What really shocked me was how genuinely engaging - and smart - Barbie turned out to be. First of all, it’s pretty damn funny, with clever scenes that knowingly acknowledge the doll’s image as a vapid product, especially when juxtaposing the title character into the real world (where she and Ken stand out like sore thumbs). The film probably could’ve coasted on that premise alone - beating the joke to death - and still amuse the masses.

However, I didn’t expect the underlying themes prevalent in the narrative. Aside from exploring subjects of feminism and masculinity (which had a few media mouth-breathers in an uproar), the film’s existential elements definitely raise it above the typical high-concept summer blockbuster. Ultimately, we can thank director/-co-writer Greta Gerwig for making Barbie a much better film than it probably needed to be.

Okay, she had a little help. With the exception of Will Ferrell, totally unfunny in a distractingly gratuitous role, just about every performance suits the tone of the movie, especially Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, who perfectly embody Barbie & Ken. 

Already the biggest film for 2023, it’ll likely be the biggest home video release, too. With hindsight, I can see why. Movies like this tend to stand up to repeated viewings, if for no other reason than to catch everything one might have missed the first time. Not bad for what I first assumed would be a two-hour toy commercial. Who knew?

EXTRA KIBBLES 

FEATURETTES - It's a Weird World (developing Kate McKinnon’s “Weird Barbie” character); All Star Barbie Party (casting the movie); Becoming Barbie (Margot Robbie’s role); Welcome to Barbieland (set design); Playing Dress-Up (costume design).

DIGITAL COPY

THE POOP SCOOP: Oppenheimer, Saw X and Titanic in 4K

😺Christopher Nolan's OPPENHEIMER Available On 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray & Digital Nov. 21 from Universal.

As it continues its dominant global box-office run, OPPENHEIMER will be available to own just in time for the holidays on 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, & Digital on November 21, 2023 from Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Delve deeper into the unparalleled filmmaking behind OPPENHEIMER with an extensive collection of special features, including the global debut of “The Story of Our Time: The Making of Oppenheimer.” This 70+ minute immersive piece showcases exclusive behind-the-scenes footage and extensive interviews with Nolan and his creative collaborators, offering unrestricted access inside the process, performances, effects, music and artistry responsible for this extraordinary film. Additional features include the NBC News companion documentary, “To End All War: Oppenheimer and the Atomic Bomb,” as well as a “Trinity Anniversary Panel Discussion” featuring a panel moderated by Emmy-winning journalist Chuck Todd, with Christopher Nolan, Nobel Prize winner Dr. Kip Throne; world-renowned physicist Dr. Carlo Rovelli; Dr. Thom Mason, director of the Los Alamos National Laboratory; and Kai Bird, the Pulitzer Prize-winning co-author of American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer, on which the film is based. The 4K Ultra HD and Blu-ray discs are uniquely designed to include mixed 2.20 and 1.78 aspect ratios that enables viewers to experience the shift in aspect ratio as viewed in select theatrical locations, for the ultimate in-home viewing.

🙀SAW X arrives Oct. 20 on PVOD and 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray and DVD Nov. 21 from Lionsgate.

John Kramer (Tobin Bell) is back. The most chilling installment of the SAW franchise yet explores the untold chapter of Jigsaw’s most personal game. Set between the events of SAW I and II, this story finds a sick and desperate John traveling to Mexico for a risky and experimental medical procedure in hopes of obtaining a miracle cure for his cancer – only to discover the entire operation is a scam to defraud the most vulnerable. Armed with a newfound purpose, John returns to his work, turning the tables on the con artists in his signature visceral way through a series of ingenious and terrifying traps. If you were too scared to see SAW X in theaters, you can now watch it at home! The best reviewed SAW film in franchise history (“Certified Fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes) is coming to Premium Video on Demand and Premium Electronic Sell-Through on October 20 from Lionsgate, just in time for Halloween. Critics called SAW X “one of the best films of the franchise” (Fangoria) and said it “gives the fans what they want” (The New York Times) with the “best traps of any of the films” (Indiewire), and on November 21, it’s available to own on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray + Digital, Blu-ray + DVD + Digital, and DVD.

🙀INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY on 4K, BLU-RAY & DVD December 5 from Disney.

From Academy Award–nominated writer-director James Mangold (Logan, Walk the Line) comes the final chapter in the saga of one of cinema’s greatest heroes. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny sees Harrison Ford reprise his iconic role as the whip-smart archaeologist one last time for a “rip-roaring adventure” (Maureen Lenker, Entertainment Weekly) full of “exciting action, wonderful banter and fantastic twists and turns” (Germain Lussier, IO9). The 4K and Blu-ray are loaded with incredible bonus content including five chapters that chart the making of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Join the cast and crew on an epic, globe-trotting adventure that showcases new characters, stunts, music, locations, production design and visual effects whilst also bidding a fond farewell to one of cinema’s greatest heroes. Fans of Academy Award®-winner John Williams will be delighted to learn that there is a new, exclusive “score-only” version of the movie allowing viewers to listen to the composer’s iconic music on an isolated track as they watch the film. 

🚢TITANIC Debuts On 4K Ultra HD December 5th | Limited Edition Collector's Box Set Also Available from Paramount.

Revisit James Cameron’s epic masterpiece TITANIC when it arrives for the first time ever remastered on 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Disc December 5, 2023 from Paramount Home Entertainment. The beloved, worldwide phenomenon won 11 Academy Awards, including Best Picture, and continues to attract new fans 25 years after it was originally released.  Now, viewers can experience all of the drama and spectacle in stunning 4K Ultra HD with Dolby Vision and a Dolby Atmos soundtrack** for the finest visual and audio presentation at home. TITANIC will be available nationwide in a two-disc set that includes the film on 4K Ultra HD, plus a Blu-ray Disc boasting more than five hours of new and legacy bonus content, including new interviews with James Cameron, star Kate Winslet, and producer Jon Landau.  The set also includes access to a Digital Ultra HD copy of the film. TITANIC will also debut in a Limited-Edition Collector’s Boxed Set that’s a must-have for fans and perfect for gift giving.  This spectacular set includes all of the above along with the following exclusive collectibles in an elegant slipcase:

• A hardcover coffee table book detailing the making of the film’s most iconic scenes

• A detailed schematic inspired by the actual ship blueprint, highlighting locations of key scenes 

• Movie prop reproductions of a boarding pass, launch viewing ticket, ship menus, and notes from Jack to Rose and Rose to Cal

• Sheet music for the multi-award-winning hit “My Heart Will Go On”