A Bizarre BODY ODYSSEY

BODY ODYSSEY (DVD)

2023 / 103 min

From IndiePix Films

Review by Stinky the Destroyer🙀

In the real world, Jacqueline Fuchs is a world famous bodybuilder, so for the most part, playing one in a movie isn’t too much of a stretch. Like most athletes-turned-actors, she’s decent in scenes conducive to her profession, sometimes a bit wooden in those requiring anything more.

Still, her performance in Body Odyssey is nothing short of brave. Not because her chosen profession and appearance could be considered freakish to a lot of viewers. And not because she frequently appears nude and engages in graphic sex scenes that are not only intentionally unerotic, they’re contextually disturbing. Fuchs seems perfectly comfortable being presented as an object of morbid fascination.

What’s brave about her performance is that it serves a bizarre, twisted film that at-no-point depicts the sport in a positive light, especially the alarmingly dangerous steps its participants take to achieve what they view as perfection (including steroid use). In fact, one competitor drops dead right in the middle of a competition. In a way, Fuch’s participation almost seems akin to a confessional.

On the surface, Body Odyssey is about Mona (a fictionalized version of Fuchs?) as she prepares for a world championship under the relentless supervision of her trainer, Kurt (Julian Sands, in one of his last performances). The defacto antagonist, Kurt appears even more obsessed with body perfection than Mona, controlling every aspect of her life and goading her into using illegally imported steroids (even though her own doctor insists she’s causing irreparable harm to herself).

Mona shows Kurt where she last saw her watch.

However, this is more of a surreal psychological/body horror film with an aesthetic similar to David Cronenberg's work. Mona’s internal conflict between her desire for perfection and needs as a woman (exacerbated by frequent trysts with a fetishistic young man) is often depicted through dreamlike sequences and imagery. Her own body develops a “voice” of its own, ominously spouting a lot of ambiguous gobbledegook whenever Mona attempts to assert own will.

For awhile, all this is kind of interesting. Mona’s sympathetic vulnerability nicely counters Kurt’s objectification of her (though we do get the impression he ultimately does care about her). Director Grazia Tricarico also keeps things aesthetically engaging (sometimes voyeuristically so), aided by moody cinematography and ethereal visual effects. But the film’s deliberate pace and increasing pretentiousness eventually grow a little tiresome (as does the camera’s unceasing exploration of Fuch’s body).

By the third act, the narrative dives headlong into bleak, baffling artiness and doesn’t resurface. That would be fine if the climax appeared to have anything resembling a resolution to Mona’s conflict (or maybe it does and I was just too dumb to catch it). Either way, Body Odyssey is one of those what-the-hell-did-I-just-watch movies that might be worth checking out for adventurous viewers (and perhaps late-career Cronenberg fans), but once is probably enough.

DOMINO: The Same Old Sound And Fury

DOMINO (Blu-ray)

2005 / 128 min

From Warner Bros.

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Bounty Hunter😼

Back in the 1980s, I was briefly into hair metal like WASP, thinking they were the coolest band on the planet. As I grew older, my love of heavy metal never really changed, but I eventually concluded that WASP’s dangerous appearance, over-the-top performances and shock-rock lyrics was all surface gloss that made them seem like a better band than they ever really were.

Similarly, I first watched 2005’s Domino in a theater, where I was bombarded by relentless sound & fury, style-to-burn, an all-star cast, supercool characters and (of course) enough hyperkinetic kaboom for three movies. It certainly wasn’t the only one to emphasize style over substance, nor was it director Tony Scott’s lone foray into chest-pounding excess (he was Michael Bay before anyone had ever even heard of Michael Bay). Since I thought this kind of stuff was great, Domino earned my enthusiastic stamp of approval.

But times change and so do most people. I’m older & wiser now (though I wouldn’t put that last one to a vote), so while I still love a great action thriller - even dumb ones - I’ve grown less enamored with those that play like two-hour music videos. Domino’s dizzying camerawork, caffeine-jitters editing and sinus-clearing score mask its overall emptiness. Even periodic attempts at symbolism are mostly superfluous and shallow, not unlike the “serious” phase of WASP’s career, though the songs were basically the same.

"That wasn't me."

Kiera Knightly plays the title character, a real life model-turned-bounty hunter and the daughter of actor Laurence Harvey. She hooks up with mentor Ed Moseby (Mickey Rourke) and his team to track down lowlifes on the instructions of bondsman Claremont Williams (Delroy Lindo). That’s about the extent that the film is “based on a true story.” The rest is a convoluted plot created to bridge various action sequences, all of which are loud, violent exercises in style over substance. The protagonists, including Domino herself, are all amalgams of antiheroes we’ve seen in plenty of other action flicks, meaning they look cool, dress cool and keep cool under barrages of gunfire.

I’m making it sound like the movie hasn’t aged well, when in fact it’s me who has done all the aging. Domino is the same brash, fast-paced, intellectually-undemanding batch of action eye candy it’s always been and certainly indicative of Tony Scott in his prime. I guess two hours of visual & sonic fireworks with no substance behind it just doesn’t rock me like it used to. Kind of like WASP.

This is a re-issue of a Blu-ray originally released in 2009.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - I Am a Bounty Hunter: Domino Harvey’s Life is a decent 20 minute documentary, featuring interviews with the real thing; Bounty Hunting on Acid: Tony Scott’s Visual Style is accurately named.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By director Tony Scott and screenwriter Richard Kelly.

ALTERNATE AUDIO TRACK - Sort of like a commentary track, this features director Tony Scott, screenwriter Richard Kelly, exec producer Zach Schiff-Abrams and actor/musician Tom Waits (not sure why he’s included…he’s only in the damn thing for a couple of minutes).

DELETED SCENES

TRAILERS

THE DAY THE EARTH BLEW UP: A Welcome Throwback

THE DAY THE EARTH BLEW UP: A LOONEY TUNES MOVIE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 91 min

From Ketchup Entertainment

Review by Princess Pepper😺

It did my heart good to see The Day the Earth Blew Up. Finally…a movie that remembers Looney Tunes are supposed to be…well, loony.

I’ve loved the classic old cartoons ever since I was a wee one, when catching them on TV was the best part of waking up on Saturday morning. Sure, a majority of those cartoons were made before I was ever born, but the characters and humor were timeless (and better than anything Hanna-Barbera was shoving down kids’ throats).

Of course, times change and nothing lasts forever, but at the risk of sounding like another crusty old boomer, subsequent attempts to keep Looney Tunes culturally relevant felt more like cynical marketing decisions than creative ones. Its classic characters were mere shadows of their former selves, reduced to being a brand name…

…which makes The Day the Earth Blew Up a wonderful throwback, of sorts. It’s not a live-action/animation hybrid. There are no Looney Tunes babies. Nobody’s solving mysteries, teaching college or ringing in the holidays. No celebrity cameos, rap battles or gratuitous product placement. No 3-D or computer animation. Sure, Porky Pig and Daffy Duck are tasked with saving the world, but at least it isn’t by shooting hoops with Michael Jordan.

Speaking of which, the plot is sort of perfunctory, but still reflects some creative effort and provides a great canvas on which to showcase a lot of clever humor. Trying to make enough money to repair the roof of their house, Porky and Daffy are forced to get jobs (which they’ve never had). This leads to an amusing montage where they’re repeatedly hired and fired, at least until, at Petunia Pig’s behest, they find work at a local bubble gum factory. That’s when Daffy stumbles upon an alien’s plot to put mind-controlling green goo into the mix, turning people into obedient zombies.

Daffy re-enacts his favorite scene from Pulp Fiction.

The story actually has a few neat twists, but what’s ultimately most important - to this old man, anyway - is Porky and Daffy actually being old school Porky and Daffy. In the latter’s case, really old school. His personality and appearance reflects the Bob Clampett-era Daffy, when he was still a mischievous prankster (though I think angry & selfish Daffy would’ve been funnier). Both characters are voiced by Eric Bauza, who’s arguably better suited for the job than anyone since Mel Blanc.

In addition to the good ol’ slapstick violence that endeared me to Looney Tunes in the first place, director Peter Browngardt and his (huge) team of writers throw in plenty of satiric elements and funny throwaway gags. This includes a hilariously suggestive scene involving Daffy, Porky and Petunia at a coffee shop that'll probably fly right over the heads of younger viewers. 

Not everything works. The strange, surreal scenes involving Farmer Jim (who raised Porky & Daffy) seem to belong to another movie. Not only that, there are layers of sentimentality that I doubt Clampett, Freleng or Jones would have ever bothered with (nor does the story need). Still, that’s a minor quip compared to what we get in return…Looney Tunes being truly loony, and the entire thing presented through colorful, old fashioned hand-drawn animation.

THE ALTO KNIGHTS: Mob Movie Comfort Food

THE ALTO KNIGHTS (Blu-ray)

2025 / 123 min

From Warner Bros

#InPartnershipwithWB

Review Mr. Bonnie, the Boss😺

The inherent problem with any gangster movie starring Robert De Niro is that - fairly or not - it is inevitably gonna be compared to Goodfellas…and never measure up, even when he re-teams with Martin Scorsese. That’s not to say Casino and The Irishman aren’t great films, but come on…Goodfellas is freaking iconic.

The Alto Knights is certainly no Goodfellas. It ain’t Casino, either, though this one does boast a similarly constructed narrative by the same screenwriter (Nicholas Pileggi). And while Barry Levinson is no Scorsese, he did direct Bugsy, so he’s not a stranger to the genre. So let’s cut Bobby, Nicky and Barry a bit of slack and try to assess this one on its own terms.

First off, The Alto Knights indulges in a little stunt casting of sorts, with De Niro playing both lead roles. Frank Costello and Vito Genovese have been friends since childhood, both becoming high ranking mob bosses. As the movie begins, Frank is shot the head but survives. Also serving as the story’s narrator, Frank reveals it was Vito who ordered the failed hit. 

This sets up the remainder of the story, which details how and why the two became enemies: Before going into hiding for 15 years, Vito left Frank in charge of everything. After returning, Vito wants it all back, but as Frank tries to explain, a lot has changed since the old days. Frank is generally soft-spoken, reserved and a meticulous planner, while Vito is brash, hot-headed and more than a little paranoid, which makes him dangerous. Even after Frank decides he’s had enough of mafia life and wants out, Vito now sees him as the enemy.

Robert sticks himself with the bill.

Like Goodfellas and Casino, The Alto Knights is based on real people and events. Its historical accuracy is a debate I’ll save for someone else because I don’t really care. What does matter is I enjoyed the story and characters. I’m not sure what purpose De Niro playing both roles ultimately serves, but he manages to convey their individual personalities quite well. And since he’s previously demonstrated a penchant for scenery chewing should a movie call for it, I’m assuming he had a lot more fun playing Vito.

Either way, De Niro is the best part of the film. He's supported by a decent cast, but other than Debra Messing as Frank’s concerned wife, most have comparatively little actual screen time. Elsewhere, the narrative structure - and Pileggi’s screenplay - definitely evokes a strong sense of deja vu, but in a way, that’s part of its overall appeal…a slice of mafia movie comfort food, if you will. As a director, Levinson can’t match the energy and exuberance of Scorsese, but if nothing else, this is his best movie in years.

The Alto Knights is no classic and ain’t destined to be mentioned among Hollywood’s greatest mob movies. In fact, it’ll probably be largely forgotten in a year or two. But keeping that in-mind, the movie still works as an engaging (if familiar) way to kill a few hours.

KITTEN COLLECTIBLES #12: Re-Entering THE BLACK HOLE

A Treasure Hunt by D.M. ANDERSON💀

In addition to watching and writing about films, I’m something of a memorabilia collector. Cursed with a teacher’s salary, I ain’t out there bidding on Dorothy’s ruby slippers or anything, but certainly enjoy haunting local shops for a variety of movie-related stuff. Or when feeling particularly bold, I’ll occasionally overpay for some retro relic on eBay. More often than not, I leave stores empty-handed. But every now and then, I’ll find a small treasure that doesn’t completely empty my wallet and give it a new home in the Dave Cave.

In Kitten Collectibles #3, I wrote of my antique finds related to Walt Disney’s space opera suppository, The Black Hole. Released in 1979 and touted as the studio’s first PG-rated movie, this was Disney’s attempt to capitalize on the success of Star Wars. They failed, of course, but not for a lack of trying, which included pumping out gobs of tie-in merchandise…including books, lunchboxes, school supplies, records, games and action figures, the last of which is ironic since the movie hardly has any real action. Unless he had faulty wiring upstairs, I doubt there was a single kid who ever put an Earnest Borgnine figure on their Christmas list. Most of this stuff ended up on clearance shelves faster than the E.T. Atari game.

The Black Hole is not, nor has ever been, a good movie (you can read my personal assessment HERE), though it’s since earned something of a cult following among middle-age sci-fi fans whose judgment might be clouded by nostalgia. That’s not to say I don’t like the movie. There have been numerous occasions when I’ve revisited The Black Hole and enjoyed its kitschiness. 

And as a collector who regularly haunts local Portland antique stores, I have found myself grabbing anything related to The Black Hole over the years, not because I’m some sort of superfan, but because this shit doesn’t show up that often. Most shops are glutted with Star Wars toys unloaded by guys who probably held onto them since childhood thinking it was a path to early retirement. But The Black Hole? That’s fucking rare, and I still keep a vigilant eye out for that elusive Ernest Borgnine action figure. 

In the interim, I recently added to my unintentional Black Hole shrine with a few more treasures…

The wife and I visited Portland’s Memory Den for the first time. Located in an old warehouse, it’s a two-story antique mall loaded with interesting booths, though some of them are the obvious result of someone cleaning out their garage, or trying to push old clothes as “vintage” before giving up and unloading them at Goodwill. There was also a section with old arcade games, which the proprietors encourage patrons to try out. Hence, there were two middle aged guys so intensely engaged in a tabletop hockey game that you’d think they were competing for the Stanley Cup.

When I wasn’t startled like being tased by these two fuckers every time one scored a goal, I managed to find some cool stuff, the real treasure being The Black Hole Space Alert Game. Being 46 years old, the box wasn’t in great shape, but all the pieces were intact! I’d never seen it before, but after reading the instructions, it’s basically a variation of Candyland, where players have to escape the Cygnus by making their way to the probe ship. As movie tie-in games go, this one is kinda lame (like the movie), but the board, which unfolds like a Twister mat, is pretty cool. 

I briefly considered asking my oldest daughter, Natalie, if she’d be interested in playing a round. She’s 30 now, but the original Candyland was one of her favorites when she was little. However, I also remember it was her first hard lesson that life isn’t always fair, and she'd often rage-quit by throwing the pieces and flipping the board when things didn’t go her way. While I’m sure she’s gotten over that by now, I decided not to risk the same thing happening to my latest treasure. 

So I’ve added to game to other recent finds related to The Black Hole, such as the novelization by Alan Dean Foster (which is actually pretty good). More amusingly, I found the children’s book, a family-friendly version of the original story. Part of Disney’s Wonderful World of Reading series, the story is told from the POV of V.I.N.C.E.N.T., the movie’s obligatory “cute” robot. To avoid traumatizing the kiddos, it mercifully leaves out the parts where every character dies and main antagonist Hans Reinhardt ends up in hell with evil robot Maximillian. 

Without really trying, I’ve acquired nearly as much Black Hole memorabilia as I have for genuinely great sci-fi films like Alien. And I'll keep doing so until I snag that Harry Booth action figure. What the hell is wrong with me?

PRESENCE and the Nosy Ghost

PRESENCE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 84 min

From NEON/DECAL RELEASING

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Once again, director Steven Soderbergh goes the unconventional route with the horror drama, Presence. For me, his work has been hit-or-miss, but I’ve always appreciated his willingness to return to his indie roots by indulging in filmmaking techniques and narrative approaches most major studios would scoff at. 

Working with yet-another screenplay by frequent partner-in-crime David Koepp, Presence is a deliberately paced ghost story presented entirely from the point-of-view of the ghost itself. Of course, this ultimately precludes traditional opportunities to scare an audience, but Soderbergh obviously didn’t set out to make a traditional horror movie. In fact, it’s just-as-much a somber drama of an increasingly dysfunctional family. As such, Presence isn’t without its aesthetic and narrative shortcomings, but overall, it’s a pretty interesting film.

The fractured family in question are the Paynes, who’ve just moved into a new home. The parents, Rebekah and Chris (Lucy Liu, Chris Sullivan), don’t appear happy with each other, especially regarding their teen children. Rebekah is indifferent to daughter Chloe’s (Callina Lang) emotional distress over losing her best friend, Nadia, who recently died of an apparent drug overdose. Conversely, Rebekah displays far more affection for their athletic douchebag son, Tyler (Eddy Maday)...to an almost creepy level in one particular scene.

Rebekah puts off doing the yardwork.

The conflicts of this family dynamic are observed by an unseen entity, primarily from a distance in long, unbroken shots. Because it seems particularly interested in (and protective of) Chloe, the presence is presumed to be Nadia. Rebekah and Tyler initially accuse Chloe of dramatic attention-getting (at least until the entity throws sort of a tantrum), while Chris is not-only sympathetic, he believes her. 

The Paynes’ marriage is further strained by Rebekah’s illegal work-related activities, a subplot that doesn’t serve any real purpose and is ultimately forgotten. Elsewhere, Chloe instigates a romantic relationship with Tyler’s best friend Ryan (West Mulholland), a development which is integral to the story…providing a plot twist during the disturbing final act that will likely surprise the audience. 

Soderbergh’s fly-on-the-wall approach to the story, as well as the episodic nature of each scene, sometimes undermines the tension and stalls momentum. But while Presence might be a little too poky and meandering for some viewers, our patience is rewarded with a gripping climax and haunting denouement.

CUSTOMS FRONTLINE Brings the Kaboom

CUSTOMS FRONTLINE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 116 min

From Well Go USA

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Boat Inspector😼

Customs Frontline sounds more like a wholesale furniture outlet than an action movie. Maybe something got lost in the translation, though it is indeed about Hong Kong customs agents. I suspect such a job is seldom as dangerous and exciting as depicted here, but that’s okay. After all, who the hell would wanna watch a cop movie where its characters spend most of their time filing police reports?

Dedicated agent Chow Ching-lai (Nicholas Tse), his mentor/boss, Cheung Wan-nam (Jacky Cheung), and their team come across an adrift cargo ship. The crew is dead, but the ship is loaded with weapons stolen from Thailand. While escorting two Thai agents to the customs warehouse where the weapons are being held, they are ambushed by mercenaries working for an enigmatic arms dealer known as Dr. Raw (Amanda Strang), stealing them back to sell to a couple of countries at war with each other.

"Stand down, guys...that's just my DoorDash delivery."

That’s the nutshell plot, which largely has Chow and Thai agent Ying (Cya Liu) trying to track down both the weapons and Dr. Raw. When focused on the action, Customs Frontline is generally pretty entertaining. There’s fighting, gunplay and plenty o' kaboom, which is all well executed...save for the laughable CGI blood spurting from gunshot wounds (come on, guys, are squibs really that expensive?).

But the film gets bogged down by its subplots. We’re led to expect Chow’s pending divorce to have some kind of significance, but instead, that thread sort of disappears into the ether. Additionally, the film establishes Cheung as suffering from bipolar disorder, a well-presented development that might have made an interesting film itself, but I fail to see how it really serves this narrative.

For the most part, though, Customs Frontline is a pretty decent way to kill a couple of hours. The fiery, destructive climax is especially exciting, which I suppose can be considered our reward for enduring the weak attempts to inject human drama. And if nothing else, it makes the job of customs agent look more thrilling than it probably is in real life.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MAKING OF FEATURETTE

TRAILER