KITTEN COLLECTIBLES #12: Re-Entering THE BLACK HOLE

A Treasure Hunt by D.M. ANDERSON💀

In addition to watching and writing about films, I’m something of a memorabilia collector. Cursed with a teacher’s salary, I ain’t out there bidding on Dorothy’s ruby slippers or anything, but certainly enjoy haunting local shops for a variety of movie-related stuff. Or when feeling particularly bold, I’ll occasionally overpay for some retro relic on eBay. More often than not, I leave stores empty-handed. But every now and then, I’ll find a small treasure that doesn’t completely empty my wallet and give it a new home in the Dave Cave.

In Kitten Collectibles #3, I wrote of my antique finds related to Walt Disney’s space opera suppository, The Black Hole. Released in 1979 and touted as the studio’s first PG-rated movie, this was Disney’s attempt to capitalize on the success of Star Wars. They failed, of course, but not for a lack of trying, which included pumping out gobs of tie-in merchandise…including books, lunchboxes, school supplies, records, games and action figures, the last of which is ironic since the movie hardly has any real action. Unless he had faulty wiring upstairs, I doubt there was a single kid who ever put an Earnest Borgnine figure on their Christmas list. Most of this stuff ended up on clearance shelves faster than the E.T. Atari game.

The Black Hole is not, nor has ever been, a good movie (you can read my personal assessment HERE), though it’s since earned something of a cult following among middle-age sci-fi fans whose judgment might be clouded by nostalgia. That’s not to say I don’t like the movie. There have been numerous occasions when I’ve revisited The Black Hole and enjoyed its kitschiness. 

And as a collector who regularly haunts local Portland antique stores, I have found myself grabbing anything related to The Black Hole over the years, not because I’m some sort of superfan, but because this shit doesn’t show up that often. Most shops are glutted with Star Wars toys unloaded by guys who probably held onto them since childhood thinking it was a path to early retirement. But The Black Hole? That’s fucking rare, and I still keep a vigilant eye out for that elusive Ernest Borgnine action figure. 

In the interim, I recently added to my unintentional Black Hole shrine with a few more treasures…

The wife and I visited Portland’s Memory Den for the first time. Located in an old warehouse, it’s a two-story antique mall loaded with interesting booths, though some of them are the obvious result of someone cleaning out their garage, or trying to push old clothes as “vintage” before giving up and unloading them at Goodwill. There was also a section with old arcade games, which the proprietors encourage patrons to try out. Hence, there were two middle aged guys so intensely engaged in a tabletop hockey game that you’d think they were competing for the Stanley Cup.

When I wasn’t startled like being tased by these two fuckers every time one scored a goal, I managed to find some cool stuff, the real treasure being The Black Hole Space Alert Game. Being 46 years old, the box wasn’t in great shape, but all the pieces were intact! I’d never seen it before, but after reading the instructions, it’s basically a variation of Candyland, where players have to escape the Cygnus by making their way to the probe ship. As movie tie-in games go, this one is kinda lame (like the movie), but the board, which unfolds like a Twister mat, is pretty cool. 

I briefly considered asking my oldest daughter, Natalie, if she’d be interested in playing a round. She’s 30 now, but the original Candyland was one of her favorites when she was little. However, I also remember it was her first hard lesson that life isn’t always fair, and she'd often rage-quit by throwing the pieces and flipping the board when things didn’t go her way. While I’m sure she’s gotten over that by now, I decided not to risk the same thing happening to my latest treasure. 

So I’ve added to game to other recent finds related to The Black Hole, such as the novelization by Alan Dean Foster (which is actually pretty good). More amusingly, I found the children’s book, a family-friendly version of the original story. Part of Disney’s Wonderful World of Reading series, the story is told from the POV of V.I.N.C.E.N.T., the movie’s obligatory “cute” robot. To avoid traumatizing the kiddos, it mercifully leaves out the parts where every character dies and main antagonist Hans Reinhardt ends up in hell with evil robot Maximillian. 

Without really trying, I’ve acquired nearly as much Black Hole memorabilia as I have for genuinely great sci-fi films like Alien. And I'll keep doing so until I snag that Harry Booth action figure. What the hell is wrong with me?

PRESENCE and the Nosy Ghost

PRESENCE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 84 min

From NEON/DECAL RELEASING

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Once again, director Steven Soderbergh goes the unconventional route with the horror drama, Presence. For me, his work has been hit-or-miss, but I’ve always appreciated his willingness to return to his indie roots by indulging in filmmaking techniques and narrative approaches most major studios would scoff at. 

Working with yet-another screenplay by frequent partner-in-crime David Koepp, Presence is a deliberately paced ghost story presented entirely from the point-of-view of the ghost itself. Of course, this ultimately precludes traditional opportunities to scare an audience, but Soderbergh obviously didn’t set out to make a traditional horror movie. In fact, it’s just-as-much a somber drama of an increasingly dysfunctional family. As such, Presence isn’t without its aesthetic and narrative shortcomings, but overall, it’s a pretty interesting film.

The fractured family in question are the Paynes, who’ve just moved into a new home. The parents, Rebekah and Chris (Lucy Liu, Chris Sullivan), don’t appear happy with each other, especially regarding their teen children. Rebekah is indifferent to daughter Chloe’s (Callina Lang) emotional distress over losing her best friend, Nadia, who recently died of an apparent drug overdose. Conversely, Rebekah displays far more affection for their athletic douchebag son, Tyler (Eddy Maday)...to an almost creepy level in one particular scene.

Rebekah puts off doing the yardwork.

The conflicts of this family dynamic are observed by an unseen entity, primarily from a distance in long, unbroken shots. Because it seems particularly interested in (and protective of) Chloe, the presence is presumed to be Nadia. Rebekah and Tyler initially accuse Chloe of dramatic attention-getting (at least until the entity throws sort of a tantrum), while Chris is not-only sympathetic, he believes her. 

The Paynes’ marriage is further strained by Rebekah’s illegal work-related activities, a subplot that doesn’t serve any real purpose and is ultimately forgotten. Elsewhere, Chloe instigates a romantic relationship with Tyler’s best friend Ryan (West Mulholland), a development which is integral to the story…providing a plot twist during the disturbing final act that will likely surprise the audience. 

Soderbergh’s fly-on-the-wall approach to the story, as well as the episodic nature of each scene, sometimes undermines the tension and stalls momentum. But while Presence might be a little too poky and meandering for some viewers, our patience is rewarded with a gripping climax and haunting denouement.

CUSTOMS FRONTLINE Brings the Kaboom

CUSTOMS FRONTLINE (Blu-ray)

2024 / 116 min

From Well Go USA

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Bonnie, the Boat Inspector😼

Customs Frontline sounds more like a wholesale furniture outlet than an action movie. Maybe something got lost in the translation, though it is indeed about Hong Kong customs agents. I suspect such a job is seldom as dangerous and exciting as depicted here, but that’s okay. After all, who the hell would wanna watch a cop movie where its characters spend most of their time filing police reports?

Dedicated agent Chow Ching-lai (Nicholas Tse), his mentor/boss, Cheung Wan-nam (Jacky Cheung), and their team come across an adrift cargo ship. The crew is dead, but the ship is loaded with weapons stolen from Thailand. While escorting two Thai agents to the customs warehouse where the weapons are being held, they are ambushed by mercenaries working for an enigmatic arms dealer known as Dr. Raw (Amanda Strang), stealing them back to sell to a couple of countries at war with each other.

"Stand down, guys...that's just my DoorDash delivery."

That’s the nutshell plot, which largely has Chow and Thai agent Ying (Cya Liu) trying to track down both the weapons and Dr. Raw. When focused on the action, Customs Frontline is generally pretty entertaining. There’s fighting, gunplay and plenty o' kaboom, which is all well executed...save for the laughable CGI blood spurting from gunshot wounds (come on, guys, are squibs really that expensive?).

But the film gets bogged down by its subplots. We’re led to expect Chow’s pending divorce to have some kind of significance, but instead, that thread sort of disappears into the ether. Additionally, the film establishes Cheung as suffering from bipolar disorder, a well-presented development that might have made an interesting film itself, but I fail to see how it really serves this narrative.

For the most part, though, Customs Frontline is a pretty decent way to kill a couple of hours. The fiery, destructive climax is especially exciting, which I suppose can be considered our reward for enduring the weak attempts to inject human drama. And if nothing else, it makes the job of customs agent look more thrilling than it probably is in real life.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MAKING OF FEATURETTE

TRAILER

WACKY RACES Speeds Down Memory Lane

WACKY RACES: THE COMPLETE SERIES (Blu-ray)

1968 / 408 min

From Warner Archive Collection

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Mr. Paws😺

While I wouldn’t bet my life on it, I’m pretty damn certain Wacky Races was the first Saturday morning cartoon I remember watching. I also seem to recall my sister and I eating enough Cheerios to collect all the boxtops required to get models of Dirk Dastardly and Penelope Pitstop’s cars. Of course, this makes me roughly 850 years old.

Back when Hanna-Barbara pretty much ruled Saturday mornings, they cranked out scores of shows that would never be mistaken for Disney, but were enough to placate undemanding kids sitting in front of the TV with a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. A few classics notwithstanding, most of them lasted only a season or two. In fact, only 17 episodes of Wacky Races were ever produced.

Originally airing in 1968, Wacky Races featured a variety of colorful characters and their crazy cars competing in a different location for each race. There were always two races per episode, and the winners earned the title of “World’s Wackiest Racer.” As a kid, the fun part was trying to predict who was going to win next because, other than Dirk Dastardly, it could have been anybody.

Dog is my co-pilot.

Looking back at it now, it’s pretty clear that Wacky Races was Hanna-Barbara’s answer to Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoons, with Dastardly as the hapless coyote and everyone else taking turns being the Road Runner. Some episodes even copped a few of the same gags. And with such wild personalities behind the wheels of these cars, it’s amusing to think the show may have even been one of the inspirations for Death Race 2000.

For others in their mid-800s who might recall Wacky Races, this Blu-ray is a nifty slab of nostalgia. Though never as uproarious as we might remember, the show harks back to those bygone Saturday mornings when TV was created just for us. Adding to the fun is an assortment of bonus features that delve into the show's short history. Pour yourself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and start your engines for a trip down memory lane.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - Rearview Mirror: A Look Back at Wacky Races is an 18-minute retrospective of the show, including a few people who were involved in its production; Spin-Out Spin-Offs takes a look at various spin-offs featuring some of the characters from the original how.

AUDIO COMMENTARIES - For 4 individual races/segments.

TRIVIA TRACK - Episode #1 with pop-up text trivia.

RE-ANIMATOR at 40: Nostalgic Nastiness

RE-ANIMATOR 40th Anniversary Edition (Blu-ray)

1985 / 86/105 min (2 cuts)

From Ignite Films / Eagle Rock Pictures

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Man, this one sure stirs some memories…

Back in the ‘80s, weekends often began with a case of beer, Domino’s pizza and a trip to the video store. We’d inevitably make our way to the horror section and choose a handful of titles, usually based on the VHS box covers or histrionic synopses. Re-Animator was one of those, because no horror fan in their right mind could resist the tagline, Herbert West has a good head on his shoulders…and another one on his desk.

Most movies glutting horror shelves back then were junk…countless slashers, Italian gorefests, zombie flicks and Exorcist ripoffs. Though fun, few of them would seriously be mistaken for good movies, nor were we ever expecting them to be. 

But shortly after popping it into my Winnebago-sized VCR, it was obvious Re-Animator was something different. Sure, it was gory (really gory), and considering the budget, boasted excellent make-up effects, but so did almost everything that oozed out of Italy. Aside from great production values - again, for the budget - what made Re-Animator stand out was brisk pace and playful tone, as well a gleeful willingness to leap beyond the boundaries of good taste with a healthy sense of humor…

…in particular, a scene involving legendary scream queen Barbara Crampton and a severed head, which has since become part of horror movie lore. For the sake of anyone reading who hasn’t yet watched Re-Animator, I’ll refrain from specifics because it must be seen to be believed. 

Most importantly, Re-Animator was (and remains) a genuinely great movie. It’s audacious, funny and clever, with engaging characters and terrific performances, especially Jeffrey Combs as the hilariously snotty & arrogant Herbert West. On that fateful weekend all those years ago, my friends and I had such a good time that we immediately rewound the tape and watched it again. Though previously unaware of H.P. Lovecraft (who wrote the original story), I was even inspired to check out more of his work. Turns out ol’ H.P. is considerably more dour than Stuart Gordon and his merry band of misfits.

"Herbert, I don't think this is how you're supposed to 'Do the Dew'."

And you know what? 40 years later, Re-Animator still holds up really well. Like the best horror films of the ‘80s (there aren’t nearly as many good ones as some guys would have you believe), it has since transcended its decade - narratively and aesthetically - to become a true classic. The movie’s power to shock audiences may have diminished, but it’s still a potent shot of nostalgic nastiness. Revisiting it for the first time in at least 20 years, I had a great time all over again.

So of course its 40th anniversary should be commemorated, which Ignite Films does with four different editions, from an elaborate 4K boxed set to a more wallet-friendly two-disc Blu-ray. We reviewed the latter, and in addition to an excellent 4K transfer with three audio options, the set features a ton of substantial new & archival bonus features (outlined below). It also includes two cuts of the film, the classic unrated Re-Animator we’ve all grown to know and love, and the lesser-known “Integral” version, which runs about 20 minutes longer. For longtime fans (or the simply curious), this upgrade is highly recommended.

EXTRA KIBBLES

UNRATED & “INTEGRAL” VERSIONS - The latter is basically an extended cut that was released about a decade ago, with extra scenes from the old R-rated version added. Might be interesting to watch once, but is certainly no improvement.

NEW KIBBLES - Re-Animator at 40 is a conversation between producer Brian Yuzna and actors Barbara Crampton & Jeffrey Combs; Piece By Piece: Cutting Re-Animator is an interview with editor Lee Percy; Suzie Sorority and the Good College Boy is an interview with actor Carolyn Purdy-Gordon; The Horror of It All: The Legacy of Re-Animator is an appreciation by several modern directors; I Give Her Life: A Look Back at Re-Animator: The Musical (There was a musical???); Re-Animating a Horror Classic: The 4K Restoration of Re-Animator; The Organic Theater Company of Chicago is a 1977 documentary about the Stuart Gordon’s theater group; New Trailer.

ARCHIVAL KIBBLES - Re-Animator Resurrectus is a feature-length documentary (and the best of the bonus features); Interviews with director Stuart Gordon, producer Brian Yuzna, co-writer Dennis Paoli, composer Richard Band and Fangoria editor Tony Timpone; The Catastrophe of Success features Stuart Gordon discussing his Organic Theater Company; Theatre of Blood features Mark Nutter, who did the music and lyrics for Re-Animator: The Musical; Barbara Crampton in Conversation is a 2015 interview; A Guide to Lovecraft Cinema; Doug Bradley’s Spinechillers: Herbert West: Re-Animator features Jeffrey Combs reading the original story; Isolated Score; Deleted/Extended Scenes; Trailer & TV Spots; Still Gallery; Storyboarded Screenplay.

3 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By director Stuart Gordon and actors Graham Skipper & Jesse Martin; 2) By director Stuart Gordon; 3) By director Stuart Gordon, producer Brian Yuzna, actors Barbara Crampton, Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott and Robert Sampson.