THE DEMONESS: Dubbed & Dirty

THE DEMONESS (Blu-ray)

2024 / 96 min

From Well Go USA

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat😾

The original English title of this Russian-produced film was Succubus, named for a mythic female demon who gets her power from seducing human male victims. That’s sort-of the gist of the story, too, though this particular demon appears to be happy with men and women, as gobs of female nudity will attest.

In fact, every female character gets naked at one point or another while the men remain more-or-less covered up, even during numerous voyeuristic sex scenes. If boobies, booties and boinking are your thing, you have a kindred spirit in director Serik Berseu. However, The Demoness falls apart as a horror movie - even an erotic one - partially because of the languid pace and an abundance of tired tropes, but mainly the perplexing decision to shoot the damn thing in English.

Too bad, because the basic premise is okay. Four bickering couples arrive at an island retreat to participate in a program that promises to salvage their rotten relationships. But that turns out to be a ruse instigated by the titular creature, which can assume any form in order to do her dirty work (no pun intended) while turning these couples against each other. But aside from an admittedly cool revelation about the main protagonist, The Demoness is mostly skin, sex and jump scares.

When your room has free Netflix.

“But, Josey,” some of you might be saying. “We love skin, sex and jump scares!” 

Hey, that’s great, and far be it from me to question your tastes in horror. However, not only is The Demoness plodding and damn near bloodless, it suffers from a major distraction that repeatedly sucks you right out of the movie: This is a Russian production and a Russian cast, yet it's shot in English, with the actors obviously dubbed to get rid of those pesky accents. The results are awful and it’s entirely possible that some of the cast had minimal understanding of their own lines, which can’t help but affect the performances. I’ve previously seen other Russian productions go this route, but to what end? 

Are subtitles really that big of a chore? A good horror movie is a good horror movie, no matter the language. But since The Demoness is not a good horror movie, the distracting dub just exacerbates the problem. Peepshow qualities notwithstanding, this one’s a hard pass.

The Beasties & Babes of BLOOD ISLAND

FEAR IN THE PHILIPPINES: THE COMPLETE BLOOD ISLAND FILMS (Blu-ray)

1959-1970 / 368 min (4 movies)

From Severin Films

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat

While Eddie Romero may not be quite as revered as the ‘other’ horror director who shares the same surname, he managed to put together a scrappy little franchise in his own right. But instead of undead hordes, he served up mad doctors and mutant monsters. In lew of shopping malls and underground bunkers, they lurked in the jungles of Blood Island. 

From 1959 to 1970, Eddie and partner-in-grime Gerry de Leon cranked out four low budget films in what came to be known as the Blood Island series, all produced in the Philippines, but shot in English with American and Filipino actors. Whereas George A. Romero used the Living Dead films as a platform to address society’s ills, Eddie was mostly used his as a platform for babes, boobs & blood…in increasing amounts as the series progressed (or regressed, depending on your point of view).

The first film, 1959’s Terror is a Man, is actually pretty good. Moody and atmospheric, it’s a loose adaptation of H.G. Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, featuring Richard Derr as William, a shipwreck survivor who’s rescued by Dr. Girard (Francis Lederer), a scientist obsessed with surgically making a panther more human. William himself becomes obsessed with Girard’s sultry wife, Frances (Greta Thyssen). And since Thyssen is unbelievably gorgeous, who can blame him? This is the least exploitative film of the series, and ironically, the only one Romero isn’t credited with directing.

Terror is a Man may be the better film, but 1968’s Brides of Blood is arguably the kookiest, therefore more fun. This one begins with an attempted rape by its hero, Jim (John Ashley), who tries to have his way with blonde bimbo Carla Henderson (Beverly Powers, aptly credited as Beverly Hills). She’s the unsatisfied wife of Dr. Paul Henderson (Kent Taylor), who’s on Blood Island to engage in scientific shenanigans of his own. Meanwhile, the locals are regularly sacrificing naked young women to a jungle-dwelling beast, while the rest of the cast are being terrorized by killer trees. It’s a crazy as it sounds, but related to the first film in name only. This is also the first appearance of Ashley, who apparently enjoyed visiting The Philippines enough to return for the next two films.

Reuniting with his wife, Dr. Henderson suddenly remembers why he wanted a divorce.

Do you remember that Star Trek episode where Kirk is forced to train for gladiatorial combat by a hot alien babe in go-go boots and a foil bikini? That woman, Angelique Pettyjohn, is Romero’s token tart in Mad Doctor of Blood Island, which is completely unrelated to the first two entries (John Ashley plays a different character as well). This one features yet another overconfident scientist, Dr. Lorca (Ronald Remy), who turns hapless humans into monsters. This one ups the blood & boob count, with the lovely Pettyjohn considerably less Reynolds Wrapped.

She wasn’t the only Star Trek starlet to head overseas. Celeste Yarnell joins Ahley for Beast of Blood, the only film in the series that’s actually a direct sequel. Dr. Lorca’s chloroform creature from Mad Doctor of Blood Island is back for more mayhem, as is the dreaded doctor himself (this time played by Eddie Garcia). The bloodiest entry of the franchise - including a lengthy & graphic surgery scene - it’s also more lurid and rapey, but not as much goofy fun as its predecessor.

Fear in the Philippines features pretty decent transfers of all four films, and each comes with a good selection of bonus features, mostly interviews with critics, historians, a few cast members and Eddie Romero himself (who passed away back in 2013). He may not be as well known as ol’ George, but fans of his brand of schlock cinema will get a kick out of this. 

EXTRA KIBBLES

Terror is a Man:

INTERVIEWS - Man Becomes Creature, with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel L. Sherman; Dawn of Blood Island, with co-director Eddie Romero; Terror Creature, with author Pete Tombs; When the Bell Rings, with critic Mark Holcomb.

TRAILER

POSTER & STILL GALLERY

Brides of Blood:

INTERVIEWS - Jungle Fury, with co-director Eddie Romero; Here Comes the Bride, with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel L. Sherman; Beverly Hills on Blood Island, with actress Beverly Powers.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Samuel L. Sherman

ALTERNATE TITLE SEQUENCE

TEASER & TRAILER

POSTER & STILL GALLERY

Mad Doctor of Blood Island:

INTERVIEWS - The Mad Doctor of Blood Island, with co-director Eddie Romero; Tombs of the Living Dead, with author Pete Tombs; A Taste of Blood, with critic Mark Holcomb.

2 AUDIO COMMENTARIES - 1) By historians Nathaniel Thompson & Howard S. Berger; 2) By Samuel L. Sherman

TRAILER

POSTER & STILL GALLERY

Beast of Blood:

INTERVIEWS - Celeste and the Beast, with actress Celeste Yarnell; Dr. Lorca’s Blood Devils, with actor Eddie Garcia.

AUDIO COMMENTARY - By Samuel L. Sherman

SUPER 8 DIGEST VERSION - This is interesting.

TRAILER

RADIO SPOT

POSTER & STILL GALLERY

For Your Consideration...DEAD ANT

DEAD ANT (Blu-ray)

2017 / 90 min

From Cineverse

Available at www.MovieZyng.com

Review by Stinky the Destroyer😼

In the spirit of Oscar season, we take a look back at the 2017 horror-comedy, Dead Ant. 

You might recall this one, which was nominated in several categories, including Best Picture Featuring Heavy Metal & Giant Insects, Best Gratuitous Female Nudity and Best Song (the heartfelt ballad, “Side Boob”). It didn’t win any of ‘em, but I believe Tom Arnold did take home the honorary lifetime achievement award that year.

To refresh your memory, Dead Ant is about a has-been hair metal band, Sonic Grave, who are heading to a music festival - Nochella - with hopes of reviving their career. Along the way, they buy some mysterious peyote from a local Native-American named Bigfoot, hoping to stimulate their creativity enough to come up with a new hit song (the aforementioned “Side Boob,” which is funny enough to be a Spinal Tap song).

But Bigfoot warns them that harming a single creature after taking the drug will have disastrous results. Naturally, that very thing happens when their bass player (always the bass player!) kills an ant. It isn’t long before the entire colony - now much bigger - comes for payback, trapping the band, their manager and a couple of groupies in their trailer. What’s worse, the ants grow larger whenever one is killed. These characters figure that out, but pay no heed, so by the time they attempt to escape, legions of car-sized ants follow them to the festival.

Driver's Ed in Texas.

Like The Shape of Water, which did win Best Picture that year, the best praise one can bestow on Dead Ant is it’s exactly the movie you think it’s gonna be, with plenty of low-brow humor, occasionally clever dialogue, cartoonish violence and (intentionally?) silly special effects. I typically find Tom Arnold and Jake Busey pretty obnoxious, but they’re surprisingly amusing here, though Rhys Coiro often steals the movie as an overly-serious guitarist with a misguided sense of his own creativity. Elsewhere, fans of Sylvia Sweeney and her physical attributes might enjoy this early role, where she parades around in a bikini and screams a lot.

The cast certainly looks like they’re having a great time, which is kind of infectious, though I chuckled more than actually laughed. Dead Ant isn’t what anyone would call a good film (not with a straight face, anyway), but it is a fun film. Daniel Day-Lewis said as much after losing the Best Actor Oscar to Gary Oldman that year, obviously regretful over passing on this movie to appear in Phantom Thread. But keep your chin up, Dan…maybe there’s a spot for you in the sequel.