HOUSES OF HELL: There Goes the Neighborhood

HOUSES OF HELL: 4 MOVIES (2008-2012)

American Horror House (2012), The Dunwich Horror (2008), House of Bones (2009), Mask Maker (2010). Various Directors. (354 min)

ON DVD FROM

MILL CREEK ENTERTAINMENT

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

This DVD set from Mill Creek Entertainment collects a batch of derivative haunted house thrillers. Like other recent collections, all four films come courtesy of Active Entertainment, long-time purveyors of SyFy Channel schedule fillers. As usual, each features a recognizable face or two showing up to pay the bills, and if expectations are kept in check, a couple of them are sort-of enjoyable.

American Horror House is probably the best of the lot, which still doesn’t make it all that great, but at-least it appears to be trying. The basic premise is decent, though it’s ultimately a supernatural slasher film punctuated by some nifty death scenes. House of Bones trucks out every haunted house trope in the book, with the added bonus of Corin Nemic, whose goofy performance suggests he’s well-aware this ain’t exactly The Haunting. Still, the movie’s kinda fun.

For some, it takes only one lick to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

On the other hand, The Dunwich Horror, another adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s story, is a colossal bore that wastes the talents of cult legend Jeffrey Combs. Finally, Mask Maker is more-or-less a Friday the 13th knock-off with a batch of obnoxious college kids providing the body count. Some familiar character actors pop-up here and there (what were you thinking, Treat Williams?), but gory kills are its only virtue.

Unless you’ve never seen a horror movie in your life, all four of these films are predictable to a fault and virtually fright-free. Still, House of Bones and American Horror House are watchable enough. The other two are strictly for undiscriminating die-hards. 

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW. 

CRAWL: Reliable Reptiles

CRAWL (2019)

Starring Kaya Scodelario, Barry Pepper, Ross Anderson, Moryfydd Clark. Directed by Alexandre Aja. (87 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM PARAMOUNT

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

Using truth-in-advertising as a barometer, Crawl is the movie of the year.

I’d been pretty jazzed to see Crawl ever since the first trailer, being that it looked like a mash-up of my two favorite genres: disaster and killer animals. As fans of either genre will attest, such movies are either good, terrible or good because they're terrible. Crawl turns out to be a good one, partially because of its straight-forward approach – no Sharknado silliness - but mainly because it delivers exactly what it promises. There's something strangely reassuring about that.

Taking place in Florida during a hurricane, Haley Keller (Kaya Scodelario) is a collegiate swimmer who reluctantly returns home to look for her estranged father, Dave (Barry Pepper), because he isn’t answering his phone. The town is already beginning to flood by the time she arrives. When she gets to the house, Haley learns why her dad didn’t return her calls: He’s stuck in the crawlspace below with serious injuries. She also discovers – the hard way – what injured him in the first place. Lurking under the house with them are a couple o’ big-ass alligators.

"No one tells me 'See ya later.'"

With the water rising, Haley and Dave need to get out, which is easier said than done. Not only are both of them hurt, their phones don’t work, the town is evacuated and hungry gators are everywhere, as a boatload of looters and some local cops fatally discover. This is all before the hurricane reaches full force. Then there’s Dave’s mangy mutt, Sugar, and goddamn if he isn’t just personable enough to have the viewer going “Oh, no! Not the Dog!” every ten minutes or so.

None of it is very plausible, but it’s deftly directed by Alexandre Aja, who knows how to build suspense and put-together some great, well-timed jump-scares, most of which do not come when expected. He also knows a movie like this needs characters we care about for any of it to work. Most of the secondary cast is simply gator fodder, but Haley and Dave are sympathetic and likable, the complexities of their volatile relationship explored with a surprising amount of depth.

Crawl won’t make anyone forget Jaws, but it’s reliable fast-paced fun, with visual effects that are more-or-less convincing and a few great critter kills. At the very least, the film delivers exactly as-advertised. In that respect, I can’t imagine anyone walking away disappointed.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “Beneath Crawl” (a 30-minute making-of doc, featuring interviews and a lot of behind-the-scenes footage); “Category 5 Gators: The VFX of Crawl”

“ALLIGATOR ATTACKS” - A montage of every attack & kill in the film.

ALTERNATE OPENING – Never actually filmed, presented as a motion comic. They were wise not to go with this opening.

DELETED/EXTENDED SCENES

DVD & DIGITAL COPIES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE: The Customer is NOT Always Right

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (1974)

Starring Ian Bannen, Ian Carmichael, Diana Dors, Peter Cushing, Margaret Leighton, Donald Pleasence, Angela Pleasence, Nyree Dawn Porter, David Warner, Ian Ogilvy, Leslie-Anne Down. Directed by Kevin Connor. (98 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM

WARNER ARCHIVE COLLECTION

Review by Josey, the Sudden Cat🙀

From Beyond the Grave is a British film from Amicus Productions. Founded by American producers Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg, the studio was Hammer Films' main rival during the 60s and 70s, churning out dozens of similarly-styled horror films (and keeping directors like Freddie Francis & Roy Ward Baker gainfully employed). Though they dabbled in several sci-fi and horror subgenres, Amicus' specialty was anthology films consisting of thematically-similar shorter pieces linked by a framing story and featuring a variety of well-known British actors.

While 1972’s Tales from the Crypt remains the best of Amicus’ anthology films, From Beyond the Grave has enough similarly macabre moments, ironic twists and dark humor to draw favorable comparison. The framing story has an antique store proprietor (Peter Cushing) seemingly swindled by a few customers unwilling to pay what his merchandise is worth. They apparently think he’s simply a gullible old rube, but Cushing’s amusingly sinister performance tells the audience otherwise. Once they leave the store with their treasures, those customers become the key players in four supernatural tales.

"I call her Mini Me."

Like any anthology film, some stories are better than others. The first, in which Edward Charlton (David Warner) becomes a murderer at the behest of demon trapped inside an antique mirror, is the most atmospheric – and bloody - with pretty decent visual effects for its time. The strangest, most unpredictable of the four has henpecked husband Christopher Lowe (Ian Bannen) befriending a congenial street vendor (Donald Pleasence) and his really creepy daughter (Angela Pleasence, whose resemblance to Dad is disturbing). The third story is the funniest, with Margaret Leighton chewing the scenery as a medium attempting to exorcise a nasty invisible demon from a man’s shoulder. Finally, a writer purchases an ancient door that contains an evil spirit. It’s the least involving of the four, but does boast a young Leslie-Anne Down, looking gorgeous.

None of the stories are particularly scary, mostly due to the cruelty of time. Still, From Beyond the Grave is an entertaining slab old-school British horror. The performances are good – especially Peter Cushing and Donald Pleasence – and as anthology films go, this one is remarkably consistent. There’s also a valuable lesson here: The customer is not always right.

EXTRA KIBBLES

TRAILER

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

LIGHT OF MY LIFE: Misery Loves Casey

LIGHT OF MY LIFE (2019)

Starring Casey Affleck, Anna Pniowsky, Tom Bower, Elizabeth Moss. Directed by Casey Affleck. (119 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM PARAMOUNT

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😿

Based on his onscreen persona, Casey Affleck could possibly be the most miserable guy on the planet. I don’t recall the last time he played someone who wasn’t the walking definition of melancholy. But hey, it won him an Oscar, so I guess it’s working for him.

So it should come as no surprise that his first film as a writer-director would be conducive to his attributes. Light of My Life is a relentlessly gloomy post-apocalyptic drama in which a plague has killed almost every female in the world and civilization is more-or-less in shambles. Affleck is the fiercely-protective father of a young daughter, Rag (Anna Pniowsky), who he disguises as a boy for her own safety.

A majority of the film has them trekking through the stark, cold wilderness, occasionally finding abandoned homes for temporary shelter and only venturing to populated areas when necessary. Most of what we learn about these two – as well as the cataclysmic plague – come through conversations when they’re alone together. Rag has a lot of questions, mostly about human nature, some of which Dad can answer, others he can’t. He is also increasingly aware that as she approaches womanhood, it will increasingly difficult to keep up their ruse.

"So...you gonna tell me who took the last Ding Dong?"

Very similar in concept, tone and pace to The Road, Light of My Life is relentlessly bleak and pessimistic, the only respites from the constant despair being Dad & Rag’s bedtime stories. In fact, the opening 10 minutes in which he puts his spin on the tale of Noah’s Ark is about as sunny as things get. Elsewhere, the narrative advances very slowly, which is effective when showing how society has pretty-much come to a stand-still.

However, there are long stretches where nothing really happens. Affleck’s typically laconic performance suits the mood and young Pniowski is a revelation, but aside from a few flashbacks, we learn little about these characters. That might be deliberate, but misery for misery’s sake can be a challenge to endure without more personal investment in who’s doing the suffering.

Still, Light of My Life is well made and, despite its languorous pace, comes to genuinely suspenseful, unexpectedly violent climax. Affleck also makes good use of locations to paint an effectively dreary picture, sort of reshaping the world as an extension of his own image. It definitely feels derivative of The Road, but if that film gave you hankering for more hopelessness, here’s a second helping.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.

Tracy and the MAIDEN

MAIDEN (2018)

Featuring Tracy Edwards, Jo Gooding, Nancy Harris, Angela Heath, Marie-Claude Heys, Sally Hunter, Jeni Mundy. Directed by Alex Holmes. (97 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😸

I didn’t know the Whitbread Round the World Race was even a thing. Held periodically since 1973, crews of yachtsmen participate in a grueling months-long endurance race. They circle the Earth, sailing tens-of-thousands of miles while stopping periodically at various ports. And until 1989, it was a boys’ only club.

That’s when young Brit Tracy Edwards assembled an all-female crew, bought & restored a boat – which they named Maiden – and found enough sponsorship to enter the race. While the novelty of an all-girl crew provided plenty of superficial media fodder, they were actually competitive, much to the surprise – and occasional consternation – of their male peers.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Maiden is a great documentary that assembles a huge amount of footage from the actual race, mostly shot by Tracy and her crew. Interspersed throughout are interviews where she and various crewmates recount their perilous voyage (we’re made well-aware that death is always a very real possibility). As exciting as the race itself is, the viewer’s particularly invested in Tracy because the film takes time to provide her backstory, which was no picnic. Overcoming a miserable childhood, marginalizing-sexism and financial obstacles, she pretty-much leveraged everything she had for this one shot.

All of which makes this the type of feel-good sports story Hollywood loves making movies about. I’m actually a little surprised no one ever did. However, Maiden manages to be just as engaging and inspirational without any dramatic embellishment, so maybe we no longer need one.

EXTRA KIBBLES

FEATURETTES - “Women Making Waves” (mostly sums-up the movie, with a few additional crew interviews); “An Evening with Maiden” (post-screening discussion with Tracy Edwards, producer Victoria Gregory and director Alex Holmes). 

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS. 

Try to Stay AWAKE

AWAKE (2019)

Starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Francesca Eastwood, Malik Yoba, William Forsythe. Directed by Aleksandr Chernaev. (92 min)

ON DVD FROM CINEDIGM

Review by Tiger the Terrible😾

A serial killer has raped, tortured and murdered five young women. The FBI think they have their suspect, who was driving the latest victim’s car with her body in the trunk. The problem is he’s in the hospital suffering from amnesia after being run off the road.

This John Doe (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) claims he couldn’t have done it, but neither agent Ward (Malik Yoba) or local Sheriff Bower (William Forsythe) believe him. However, kindly nurse Diana (Francesca Eastwood) does, so even after John Doe takes her hostage in order to escape, she decides to help him track down the real killer.

It's Hammertime.

The premise won’t win any awards for originality, but still has the makings of a tidy little thriller. Too bad Awake squanders it with uninteresting characters, lazy writing and lethargic pacing. The cast is decent, but their efforts are undermined by ridiculous story contrivances, such as Diana’s unconvincing motivation for risking her life and career to help a stranger who still may be the killer.

Furthermore, the hunt for the real culprit is dull and ultimately predictable due to a hamfisted bit of foreshadowing halfway through that practically screams “He did it!” Still, the story tries in vain to keep the viewer guessing before tossing in a late-inning red herring that confirms what we suspected. 

But even those issues wouldn’t be a big deal if the film actually moved. Laboriously paced, Awake is competently made, but in the end, it's an interminable waste of a good cast. After all, the main thing any thriller should have is an actual thrill or two.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH. LIKE SHARING THE BED WITH THE DOG. 

The POWER OF NOSTALGIA

POWER OF GRAYSKULL: THE DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (2017)

Featuring John Atkin, Gwen Wetzler, Mark Taylor, J. Michael Straczynski, Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella. Directed by Randall Lobb & Robert McCallum. (95 min)

ON DVD FROM HIGH OCTANE

Review by Fluffy the Fearless😺

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a garbage cartoon, cynically thrown together to push a line of action figures on undiscriminating kids. It certainly didn’t match-up to the classic Saturday morning shows I grew up with, like Hot Wheels, Gilligan’s Planet, Scooby’s All-Star Laff-A-Lympics and -

...never mind.

Oh well, one man’s garbage is another man’s nostalgia, which this revealing documentary affectionately demonstrates. Power of Grayskull covers the character’s entire history, from the initial line of toys through its syndicated cartoon and subsequent reboots, as well as Cannon Films’ infamous slab of ‘80s megacheese starring Dolph Lundgren & Frank Langella (both of whom are interviewed here). As someone with more of a movie background, I found the latter section particularly interesting.

"Andy's home! Everybody freeze! Even you, Skeletor!"

Not that there aren’t surprises throughout the rest of the film. With hindsight, I guess it’s obvious those who created the He-Man universe drew considerable inspiration from the paintings of Frank Frazetta, but I’d be willing to wager nobody who grew up playing with these toys were even aware of his adult oriented artwork. I was also unaware that the original toys came with meticulously crafted comic books which dropped these characters into actual stories. Even the packaging contained a surprising amount of creativity.

We meet the toy designers, various writers & directors of the show, storyboard artists and, of course, historians & collectors who discuss He-Man’s popularity. I still think the cartoon is garbage, but even as someone who was arguably too old to ever buy-into the He-Man universe, looking back at its cultural impact was pretty interesting. And it goes without saying that those still holding a nostalgic fondness for the big lug will love this.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

THE SET-UP: Raging Robert

THE SET-UP (1949)

Starring Robert Ryan, Audrey Totter, George Tobias, Alan Baxter, Wallace Ford. Directed by Robert Wise. (72 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM

WARNER ARCHIVE COLLECTION

Review by Mr. Paws😸

Film noir and boxing go together like cops & doughnuts, and for my money, there isn’t a more effective example than The Set-Up. More so than The Killers or The Harder They Fall, we really feel like we’re examining the underside of an overturned rock.

Robert Ryan is terrific as “Stoker” Thompson, an aging boxer who never hit the big time. Still, he clings to the hope that he’ll win again someday. And he’s just one of a dozen-or-so others who fight each weekend at the seedy Paradise City Arena. Some are young hopefuls, others are as worn-out and weary as Stoker. Though it’s never spoken, most of these men seem aware they’re destined to serve as little more than cannon fodder for up-and-coming boxers bankrolled by crooked gamblers.

Thompson’s manager, Tiny (George Tobias) arranges for him to take a dive during his next match, but since Stoker has lost his last 27 fights, neglects to inform him. Meanwhile, Stoker gears-up for the match, confident he can win this time. However, his wife, Julie (Audrey Totter), refuses to watch him take another beating. In fact, she wants him to quit so the two of them can start a new life.

"More gin, Stoke?"

Primarily a character study, The Set-Up is presented almost in real time, from the deal Tiny makes with local mobster Little Boy (Alan Baxter), through the revealing, introspective locker room moments and culminating in Stoker’s match. By this time, his quiet desperation not-only has us rooting for him, but fearing for his life since he’s completely unaware he’s supposed to lose. No stranger to the genre, Ryan is believable as an aging fighter, both in and out of the ring.

The climactic fight sequence is long, grueling and – considering the era when the film was made – brilliantly shot and edited. We feel like were in the middle of the fight, feeling every punch. It’s only fitting that Martin Scorsese contributes to the film’s audio commentary, since this sequence obviously had a huge influence on Raging Bull.

Director Robert Wise has made a slew of iconic classics in a variety of genres, which tends to overshadow how skillfully he could put together a comparatively small, visceral piece of film noir, particularly in his early years. The Set-Up is a prime example of the genre, full of intriguing character-driven moments, a bruising climax and a bittersweet resolution. Great stuff.

EXTRA KIBBLES

AUDIO COMMENTARY – By Director Robert Wise and Martin Scorsese (of course).

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS.

THE POOP SCOOP: More Hellacious Halloween Horrors

VIEW THE TRAILER

SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK on Digital 10/22 and 4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray & DVD 11/5

The highly anticipated film adaptation of the iconic book series brings the thrills and chills of some of Alvin Schwartz’s scariest stories to life. It’s 1968 in America. Change is blowing in the wind…but seemingly far removed from the unrest in the cities is the small town of Mill Valley, where for generations the shadow of the Bellows family has loomed large. It is in their mansion on the edge of town that Sarah, a young girl with horrible secrets, turned her tortured life into a series of scary stories, written in a book that has transcended time. For a group of teenagers who discover Sarah’s terrifying home, the stories become all too real in this spine-tingling film. 

 

VIEW THE TRAILER

47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED on Digital 10/29 and Blu-ray Combo Pack, DVD & On Demand 11/12

Directed by Johannes Roberts and written by Roberts and Ernest Riera, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged follows the diving adventure of four teenage girls exploring a submerged Mayan city. Once inside, their rush of excitement turns into a jolt of terror as they discover the sunken ruins are a hunting ground for deadly great white sharks. With their air supply steadily dwindling, the friends must navigate the underwater labyrinth of claustrophobic caves and eerie tunnels in search of a way out of their watery hell. Immerse yourself in the underwater world with exclusive special features, including audio commentary with writer-director Johannes Roberts, producer James Harris, and writer Ernest Riera; as well as the “Diving Deeper: Uncaging 47 Meters Down” featurette. 

 

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON on Blu-ray 10/29

In what is arguably the greatest werewolf movie ever made, David Naughton stars as an American tourist attacked by a vicious creature while hiking in the Yorkshire Moors. The jaw-dropping, Oscar-winning special effects from the legendary Rick Baker are restored in 4K using the original camera negative and approved by Landis. This release comes with so many special features you'll need a whole lot of big teeth to chew on them all. 

 

The Original RINGU and RINGU COLLECTION on Blu-ray 10/29

Hideo Nakata almost single-handedly helped launch the J-Horror boom in the late '90s with Ringu, the film Sight & Sound called a "timeless terror". Now fans can own this creepy flick about the cursed VHS tape with a brand new 4K restoration approved by DP Junichiro Hayashi. If one VHS tape isn't enough to quench your thirst for technological terror, then the Ringu Collection may be more your speed. This boxset includes the original film alongside the sequel Ringu 2, the eerie origin story Ringu 0, and the "lost sequel", Jôji Iida's Rasen - also known as The Spiral.

THE FIRST KING and the Sheep Farmer from Hell

THE FIRST KING (2019)

Starring Alessandro Borghi, Alessio Lapice, Fabrizio Rongione, Tania Garriba. Directed by Matteo Rovere. (126 min)

ON BLU-RAY FROM WELL GO USA

Review by Tiger the Terrible😺

Talk about your crappy days. Romulus and Remus are two shepherd brothers whose flock is wiped out by a flood. Then they’re carried down-river and fished out by Alba Longa soldiers to be used as slaves. Instead, the brothers lead a revolt, taking Satnei, Alba’s resident clairvoyant, as a hostage. Romulus is seriously injured and the other slaves want to leave him behind, but Remus insists on carrying him. They all escape into a supposedly cursed forest, where no one entering has ever returned.

The rest of the week isn’t a picnic, either. Remus (Alessando Borgi) assumes leadership, killing anyone who challenges him. Those who wander off alone end up dying, with the exception of Remus. With everyone starving, Remus ventures off alone and returns with a deer, feeding the group and assuring their loyalty. Remus declares himself their king and they slaughter a group of solders protecting a local village. Remus declares himself their new ruler, as well, while Satnei prophecizes one of the brothers will someday rule a great kingdom after killing the other. Like a lot ‘o guys suddenly drunk with power, Remus goes a little mad, wildly overestimating his own importance & invincibility.

No marshmallows...no 'Smores.

Said-kingdom would someday be Rome and The Last King is a violent retelling of the centuries-old legend. From a technical standpoint, it gets off to a woefully shaky start with some shitty CGI before settling into the gritty, close-quarters mayhem a film like this needs. There are three major battle sequences that are brutal and bloody, with some nasty, wince-inducing kills that reflect sick minds in the make-up department. This movie needs them, too. When blood & limbs aren’t flying, the story becomes sort-of an endurance test, slowing to a crawl on occasion.

Though overlong by half an hour, The First King is handsomely produced for its budget and boasts good performances by the two leads. Suitably grimy and gory, the battle scenes alone are probably worth the price of admission. At the very least, this is a far more authentic version of the story than 1961’s Duel of the Titans.

EXTRA KIBBLES

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE – A pretty interesting 35 minute documentary. Directer Matteo Rovere doesn’t seem to be lacking in self-confidence.

TRAILERS

KITTY CONSENSUS:

NOT BAD. LIKE CAT CHOW.