Movie Review: ATTACK OF THE LEDERHOSEN ZOMBIES

Starring Laurie Calvert, Margarete Tiesel, Gabriela Marcinkova, Oscar Dyekjaer Giese, Patricia Aulitzky, Karl Fischer, Kari Rakkola. Directed by Dominik Hartl. (2017, 78 min).

LEVEL33 ENTERTAINMENT

Remember when Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland came along and turned the genre on its ear by cleverly mining the inherent comic possibilities of the undead? Or even further back in time, when Return of the Living Dead was arguably the first zombie movie that had the audacity to be intentionally funny?

The novelty has long since worn off. Today, the list of “outrageous” zom-coms is probably longer than the Magna Carta and as formulaic as every teenage slasher flick from the 80s. Folks well-versed in all things undead know the formula by now:

• An intentionally trashy, cult-bait title.
• A silly cause of the zombie outbreak.
• Plenty of self-aware dialogue.
• References to other zombie films.
• An assortment of wacky characters.
• A lively soundtrack to underscore how much fun everyone's having.
• Lots of absurdly over-the-top gore.
• Goofy weapons fashioned out of everyday household objects.
• Pun-filled wisecracks uttered after a creative kill, usually related to the weapon just used.

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies checks off most of the required boxes to deliver more of the same...better than some, worse than others. This time, a chemical used to produce artificial snow infects a potential investor, who ends up at a remote Austrian ski lodge to spread the joy. Now, a cocky snowboarder, his long-suffering girlfriend, a faithful sidekick (who I kept confusing for the hero until he became zombie fodder) and a husky Dirndl-garbed barista (who also happens to own a cache of military weapons) must slaughter their way to safety.

SURFING NETFLIX

Some of this is amusing and much of it is intentionally dumb (undead reindeer, anyone?), but like so many other zom-coms these days, its self-conscious efforts to be ridiculous are heavy-handed and forced. The same could be said about the violence. The red stuff flows – and squirts – freely & often, as do various appendages. But despite a few admittedly clever kills (my favorite being one poor sap's predicament after being speared through the head with ski poles), this is the same garden variety gore you'd find in any other straight-to-video yukfest with zombie or dead in the title.

While reasonably well-made on a low budget, Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies is just another generic horror comedy swimming in a sea that's rife with them. It's one of those in which you might chuckle at the title while surfing Netflix, but are pretty certain the title is the best part of the movie. And ironically, you'll discover there aren't any actual lederhosen to be seen anywhere.

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEH...

Blu-Ray Review: TRAIN TO BUSAN

Starring Gong Yoo, Ma Dong-seok, Jung Yu-mi, Kim Su-an, Kim Eui-sung, Choi Woo-shik, Ahn So-hee. Directed by Yeon Sang-ho. (2016, 118 min).

WELL GO USA

I've seen countless zombie movies over the years. These days, to say it's an oversaturated genre is an understatement. Though I've had a soft spot for the genre ever since the original Dawn of the Dead blew me away as a kid, I can acknowledge most of them are either utter crap or so derivative they might as well have a “Part 2” in the title. Still, I seldom pass them up because every now and then I come across one that justifies my love for the undead in the first place. Like Train to Busan.

But Train to Busan isn't simply a great zombie film. It's easily one of the best I've seen because it transcends its genre like few others ever have. I'd even be willing to wager that those who don't typically go for this type of entertainment might find themselves enthralled. Mostly forgoing the usual gut-munching and gore associated with the genre (though the violence is still pretty potent) this plays like a crazy hybrid of 28 Days Later, World War Z and a disaster movie.

"Are you talkin' to me? Are YOU talkin' to me?"

Train to Busan wastes little time explaining the cause of the outbreak, opting to focus on its characters' situation: They're stuck on-board a bullet train as a deadly virus – turning its victims into ravenous undead – rages across the country. However, when the infection begins to spread throughout the train, some passengers learn to work together for their own survival. Others, led by the increasingly hateful Yon-suk (Kim Eui-sung), let fear overtake reason as they isolate themselves in one of the cars, despite desperate uninfected survivors trying to get in.

To the surprise of all, this train unexpectedly left on time.

The film is fast-paced, intense, smart, scary, suspenseful, funny, loaded with action and, surprisingly for this genre, often poignant. My youngest daughter is a zombie fan and we often watch these films together. Afterwards, she started getting misty once again while telling her mother how the movie gave her “the feels.” Aside from a remarkably fresh take on a tired subgenre, “the feels” is a huge part of what makes this film unique. The attention to its well-rounded characters is what creates many of its funny and heartbreaking moments. We get to know and empathize with Seok-woo (Gong Loo), a divorced workaholic who reluctantly agrees to escort his young daughter (Kim Su-an) to her mother's for her birthday. While this father-daughter relationship provides the film's emotional crux, all the major characters are so sharply-written and performed that we have a serious stake in who lives and dies.

There's also some timely - and not so subtle - social commentary on how baseless fear of others can make people think and do terrible things (and not just in South Korea, if you get my meaning). But mostly, Train to Busan is slam-bang entertainment, the smartest movie since Dawn of the Dead and emotionally exhausting in the best possible way. Of all the films I watched in 2016, this was the best of them, regardless of the genre.

EXTRA KIBBLES:

FEATURETTES: “Behind the Scenes”; “That's a Wrap”

ENGLISH LANGUAGE OPTION

TRAILER

KITTY CONSENSUS:

MEE-OW! THE BEST MOVIE OF 2016

Blu-Ray News: Marvel Studios' DOCTOR STRANGE on Digital HD 2/14 & Blu-ray 2/28

Own the critically acclaimed blockbuster with 80+ minutes

of extras highlighting the award-winning cast!

BURBANK, Calif., January 6, 2017 — Marvel Studios’ Doctor Strange, the story of Dr. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts, has mesmerized both audiences and critics, pulling in more than $658.3 million at the worldwide box office to date and earning a 90% critics consensus on Rotten Tomatoes. The biggest single-character introduction in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), it also carries on Marvel Studios’ winning streak as the 14th consecutive MCU film to debut at #1 at the domestic box office.

On Feb. 14, Doctor Strange fans can bring home the critically acclaimed blockbuster early on Digital HD/3D and Disney Movies Anywhere, or on Blu-ray 3D™, Blu-ray, Digital SD, DVD and On-Demand on Feb. 28. The Blu-ray and Digital releases come packaged with over 80 minutes of fascinating, never-before-seen bonus materials, including five behind-the-scenes featurettes, five deleted scenes, hilarious outtakes, part two of the comical mockumentary “Team Thor,” audio commentary, and an exclusive look at the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Blu-Ray Review: DEEPWATER HORIZON

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Kurt Russell, John Malkovich, Gina Rodriguez, Dylan O'Brien, Kate Hudson, Ethan Suplee. Directed by Peter Berg. (2016, 107 min).

LIONSGATE

As far back as I can remember, disaster movies have been my favorite genre. Good ones, bad ones, so-bad-they're-good ones...there's something about mass destruction I've always found wonderfully entertaining. Their heyday was in the 1970s, when such creative cataclysms as Airport and The Poseidon Adventure laid down the blueprint for a slew of others to follow, including what's generally considered the epoch of the genre, The Towering Inferno.

For a brief time, that blueprint was foolproof...gather some marquee names, throw them in a burning skyscraper/sinking ship/quake-ravaged town, add some subplots & big-ass special effects and you had a license to print money. Regarding the characters, you could almost always count on seeing the selfless & down-to-Earth hero, the woman who loves him, the "cute" child who needs rescuing, a pop star who shows up to croon an Oscar-baiting love song, the estranged couple who fall in love all over again just before one of them dies, the gruff-but-kindly hardass, the “expert” who designed whatever vehicle or structure that's now killing people. I could go on, but would be remiss if I didn't give a shout-out to one more crucial character: the “company man” whose greed and carelessness is usually the catalyst for the disaster in the first place. He exists to contradict the hero's common sense at every turn, then when the shit does hit the fan, he gets a heaping helping of karmic retribution.

These films were definitely products of their time, and while no one really makes them like that anymore, disaster movies never actually went away. The genre even made something of a comeback in the 90s under the guise of action movies (Twister), science-fiction (Deep Impact), epic drama (Titanic) or true stories (Apollo 13). The formula was a bit different, but as long as people died and shit got blown up, all was still right with the world.

Deepwater Horizon is based on a true story as well – the Gulf of Mexico oil rig explosion in 2010 - but adheres to that 70s' Hollywood disaster formula more faithfully than recent films like The Finest Hours and Sully (though the latter is Clint Eastwood's best movie in years). We have the down-to-Earth hero (Mark Wahlberg), his loving wife (Kate Hudson, in a rather thankless role), the gruff hardass and expert roll into one (Kurt Russell). 

Mr. Wahlberg is not feeling Good Vibrations right now.

It also features a doozy of a company man in form of John Malkovich, chewing the scenery and having a whale of a time as sleazy BP executive Donald Vidrine. He refuses to allow Mike (Wahlberg) and Mr. Jimmy (Russell) to test the stability of the drilling foundation on the sea floor because falling further behind schedule would be costly. Of course, he lives to regret that decision when the rig explodes and burns out of control, killing some people and trapping dozens of others. Much of the second half of the film has Mike selflessly trying to save co-workers from burning alive while awaiting rescue.

Aside from Mike, Mr. Jimmy and Vidrine, none of the other characters are particularly memorable unless they're sacrificing their lives to save others, but the spectacular mayhem more-than makes-up for that. The film takes some time to get going – mostly to explain all the tech-talk and establish Vidrine as a despicable ass. But when disaster finally strikes, Deepwater Horizon is vivid, chilling, intense and completely convincing. We never feel like we're watching these actors in front of a green screen. While the rig's inner workings and causes of the explosion are complicated, the screenplay always makes certain those of us who've never set foot on a drilling platform clearly understand everything. Best of all, even though it's based on true events, the overall plotline is straight out of a good old fashioned, 70's-era disaster epic. Woo Hoo!

Deepwater Horizon isn't quite the emotional triumph it clearly wants to be, and you probably won't give it a ton of thought afterwards (except maybe to Google whether or not some of those BP bastards got what they deserved). But the performances are good and the experience of being stuck on this burning rig as it topples around us is as intense and real as any destructive drama you'd care to name. It may not have a sappy song interlude, obnoxious kids or silly subplots (unless you count Mike's quest for a dinosaur bone to give his kid), but old school disaster fans will find a lot to love. Put it in and play it loud, folks.

EXTRA KIBBLES:

“BEYOND THE HORIZON” - A lengthy, five-part documentary featuring the primary cast.

FEATURETTES: “The Fury of the Rig”; “Deepwater Surveillance”; “Work Like an American”; “Captain of the Rig” (this feature focuses on director Peter Berg).

DVD & DIGITAL COPIES

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS

Blu-Ray News: Roger Corman's DEATH RACE 2050 Red Band Trailer

MALCOLM MCDOWELL AND MANU BENNETT RATCHET UP THE ACTION AND THE MAYHEM IN THE NO-HOLDS-BARRED MODERN REIMAGINATION OF THE CULT CLASSIC, DEATH RACE 2000

Legendary filmmaking icon, Roger Corman, is back with his most outrageous film yet in this sensational, action-packed and darkly humorous reboot of the original Death Race 2000! It’s the year 2050 and America is controlled by an all-powerful corporate government ruled by The Chairman (Malcolm McDowell). The masses have been brainwashed with violent virtual-reality entertainment. The event of the year is the Death Race, in which a motley crew of violent drivers compete in a cross-country road race, scoring points for shamelessly running people over and driving each other off the road. The reigning champion and fan favorite, Frankenstein (Manu Bennett), who’s half-man half-machine, wants to take the crown, but his rebel spy co-pilot threatens his legacy.

Produced by Roger Corman, the king of cult classics, Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050 stars Manu Bennett (The Hobbit) as Frankenstein and Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) as the Chairman. The cast also features Burt Grinstead (“NCIS”), Marci Miller (Viper), Folake Olowofoyeku (The Beaver), Anessa Ramsey (Footloose), Yancy Butler (Hard Target) and Charlie Farrell (Cantar).

 AVAILABLE ON BLU-RAY^™, DVD AND DIGITAL HD
ON JANUARY 17, 2017, FROM UNIVERSAL PICTURES HOME ENTERTAINMENT

Movie News: CULT OF CHUCKY Begins Production

THE WORLD’S DEADLIEST DOLL UNLEASHES HIS REIGN OF TERROR IN THE MOST CHILLING CHAPTER YET OF THE CHILD’S PLAY SAGA

 CULT OF CHUCKY

THE ALL-NEW FEATURE FILM FROM UNIVERSAL 1440 ENTERTAINMENT BEGINS FILMING ON JANUARY 9 IN WINNIPEG

 

Teaser Trailer:
http://uni.pictures/CultChuckyAnnounce
 

Universal City, California, January 5, 2017 – Cult of Chucky, an all-new spellbinding chapter of the Child’s Play thriller franchise, begins principal photography in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, on January 9, 2017. The seventh film in the blockbuster series will be released in a bone-chilling Unrated Version on Blu-ray^™, DVD and Digital HD in fall 2017 — just in time for Halloween. Packed with the franchise’s signature blend of horror and demented humor, Cult of Chucky is the latest production from Universal 1440 Entertainment, a production entity of Universal Pictures Home Entertainment.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly 30 years since Chucky first terrified moviegoers in Child’s Play,” said Glenn Ross, General Manager and Executive Vice President, Universal 1440 Entertainment. “Since then the films have generated millions in worldwide box-office revenue. Now Chucky’s back with more scores to settle in his trademark twisted style, and you can bet he won’t stop until he gets his revenge.”

Fiona Dourif (Curse of Chucky) returns as Nica, the wheelchair-bound heroine framed by Chucky for the bloody murders of her entire family. She’s joined by franchise veterans Alex Vincent (Child’s Play, Child’s Play 2) and Jennifer Tilly (Monsters, Inc., Bride of Chucky), with Brad Dourif (The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) once again providing the eerie, unnerving voice of the demon doll possessed by the spirit of a maniacal serial killer.

Don Mancini, writer of the Child’s Play franchise, is the executive producer of the new film, which he also directs from his original script. Longtime franchise producer David Kirschner (The Pagemaster, Frailty) is joined this time by Ogden Gavanski (Warm Bodies, Immortals). The production team includes special-effects guru and associate producer Tony Gardner (Zombieland, Curse of Chucky), director of photography Michael Marshall (“Killjoys”), production designer Craig Sandells (Mother’s Day) and costume designer Patricia J. Henderson (ATM).

#chucky
#cultofchucky

Movie News: SLEEPLESS – Watch Jamie Foxx in NEW Action-Packed Clip

Messing with his family is the biggest mistake you'll ever make. In this newly-released #SleeplessMovie clip, Jamie Foxx will do whatever it takes to save his son. Get a taste of the action in this intense, action-packed clip from the film below, and check out Jamie Foxx, Michelle Monaghan, Dermot Mulroney, Gabrielle Union, David Harbour, Tip ‘T.I.’ Harris and more when SLEEPLESS hits theaters on January 13th!

Blu-Ray Review: JERRY MAGUIRE: 20th ANNIVERSARY EDITION

Starring Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding Jr., Renee Zellweger, Kelly Preston, Jerry O'Connell, Jay Mohr, Bonnie Hunt. Directed by Cameron Crowe. (1996, 138 min).

SONY

Has it really been 20 years since Jerry Maguire was first released? It seems like only yesterday that I was dragged to go see it for date night and ended up liking it more than my wife did.

A lot has changed since then. Tom Cruise now spends most of his screen time running from explosions; Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr. has nabbed more than his fair share of Razzie nominations; Renee Zellweger has the Bridget Jones franchise to remind us she's still working. It's also an anniversary of-sorts for writer/director Cameron Crowe...15 years since his last interesting film.

"There. Are. No. Paper. Towels!"

All that being said, the movie itself has held up better over the years than some of its participants. Though I personally prefer Cruise's latter-day career, where he's given up all pretenses of being a serious actor to focus on simply being Tom Cruise, Gooding would never be as enjoyably brash as he is here, nor would Zellweger achieve the same level of congenial charm. And with all due respect to the autobiographical Almost Famous, this is Crowe's sharpest screenplay. The obligatory love story is nothing we haven't seen in countless other films, but what still makes Jerry Maguire crackle – besides the performances – is its apparent insider knowledge of the world of sports agents. At no time does the viewer ever doubt this is how the job operates, and that Maguire himself is an anomaly in this cut-throat, ego-stroking profession.

"Mission? What mission? What the hell are you talking about?"

So of course, when you throw in more celebrity cameos than one can possibly catch with one viewing, dialogue that has become pop culture vernacular and an irresistible resolution, Jerry Maguire has enjoyed a lengthy shelf life, which also means a lot of folks probably already have it on video. This Blu-Ray has many bonus features from previous releases, but adds some new stuff that'll be hard for fans to pass up, including a lengthy retrospective documentary and never-before-seen deleted scenes. My favorite, however, is the inclusion of the soundtrack CD featuring songs by the likes of Bruce Springsteen, The Who, Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney. Personally, I wish more studios would do this with their Blu-Ray releases rather than include a DVD copy I'll likely never use.

While it's still more amusing to watch Tom Cruise run toward the camera like he's on fire, Jerry Maguire remains one of his most endearing audience pleasers, one of those so-called date movies that appeals to both sexes. Of the many home video editions out there, this is probably the definitive one, with enough new kibbles to make it worth double-dipping.

EXTRA KIBBLES:

NEW: “JERRY MAGUIRE: WE MEET AGAIN” (3 part retrospective with vintage footage & interviews and new interviews with Tom Cruise & writer/director Cameron Crowe).

NEW: DELETED/EXTENDED SCENES

NEW: PHOTO GALLERY

PICTURE-IN-PICTURE VISUAL COMMENTARY (with Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding Jr., Renee Zellweger & Cameron Crowe).

DELETED SCENES & REHEARSAL FOOTAGE (both with commentary).

“MY FIRST COMMERCIAL” (an amusing Reebok commercial featuring the Rod Tidwell character)

“DREW ROSENHAUS: HOW TO BE A SPORTS AGENT”

MAKING-OF FEATURETTE

MUSIC VIDEO: Bruce Springsteen's “Secret Garden”

JERRY MAGUIRE'S “MISSION STATEMENT” (reprinted in the supplemental booklet)

ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK CD

KITTY CONSENSUS:

PURR-R-R...LIKE A GOOD SCRATCH BEHIND THE EARS

Blu-Ray News: NFL Network's A FOOTBALL LIFE Profiles Former All-Pro Rod Tidwell

‘Rod Tidwell: A Football Life’ Examines the Life & Career of the Former All Pro Wide Receiver. Features Interviews with Michael Irvin, Kurt Warner, Shaquille O’Neal, Coolio & More
 
“He’s always been about that Kwan. And if the Kwan ain’t there, the cash means nothing.” – Tee Pee Tidwell

NFL Network’s Emmy-nominated series A Football Life continues with a profile of former All Pro wide receiver, Rod Tidwell. The show features sitdown interviews with Tidwell’s brother Tee Pee Tidwell, former NFL players Kurt Warner, Michael Irvin and Ray Lewis, NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal and more.

Rod Tidwell came into the NFL without notice, but his departure will never be forgotten. Following a thrilling game-winning touchdown reception on Monday Night Football, Tidwell rose to stardom and became a household name. Armed with a new, multi-year contract from the Arizona Cardinals, Tidwell dominated the NFL, putting up Hall of Fame numbers while establishing himself as a cultural icon. Yet at the height of his career, Tidwell walked away from the NFL.

To view the entire Rod Tidwell: A Football Life, visit:
http://www.nfl.com/videos/maguire/0ap3000000768773/A-Football-Life-Rod-Tidwell

JERRY MAGUIRE 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION Blu-Ray is now available, featuring a new three-part retrospective, nearly an hour of deleted & extended scenes and the original CD soundtrack. 

2016: What Made Us Purr & Hiss

Another year gone, and time once again for Free Kittens Movie Guide to sum it all up, the good, the bad and the ugly. It's been a year of crunchy kibbles and tasty treats, as well as unwelcome guests and pesky pooches. And, of course, 2016 demonstrated, both in real life and the box office, time can sometimes be a harsh mistress. So let's get to it!

WHAT MADE US PURR:

THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR – Just when you thought the zombie genre has finally run its course (and I was about to declare Don't Breathe the best horror film of the year), barreling up the tracks comes South Korea's Train to Busan, the most satisfying zombie film over a decade. Exciting, scary and suspenseful, this one ran me through an emotional ringer. While we're on the subject...

HORROR – In general, this was a great year...even from major studios. Don't Breathe was morally ambiguous and wonderfully disturbing. The Conjuring 2 defied the law of diminishing returns. Lights Out managed to turn a two minute short into a tidy little scarefest. Even The Purge: Election Day continued milking its outrageous premise with interesting results. On the independent front, Southbound was a fascinatingly bizarre anthology film, while Phantasm: Ravager allowed fans to bid a fond farewell to Angus Scrimm.

"Man, I thought I could hold it 'till we found a gas station."

SULLY and DEEPWATER HORIZON – Our favorite genre (the disaster film) made a roundabout comeback with these two solidly entertaining films, both based on recent true events.

HONG KONG SHOWS US HOW IT'S DONE – Stephen Chow's The Mermaid is his most entertaining and batshit crazy film since Kung Fu Hustle, while Call of Heroes might be the best “western” not actually made in the West.

"Will? Will who?"

WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU EXPECTING? - Independence Day: Resurgence. Sure, Will Smith was missed, but really...wasn't big, loud and dumb destruction the primary appeal of the original? Roland Emmerich returns with something even bigger, louder and dumber. No one goes to stuff like this to stimulate the intellect. You go for the same reason you order a Whopper: Because you know exactly what it'll taste like.

Alright, who are you and what did you do with the real Michael Bay??

WELL, WE WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS – Michael Bay finally directed a great movie, which flopped, of course. 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi was a high-tension stunner that eschewed political commentary about the event to focus on heroism. Disney also surprised us with an outstanding live-action remake of one of their weakest animated films, The Jungle Book. Honorable Mention: Pete's Dragon, which outclasses the godawful 1977 original in every way. Speaking of Disney...

DISNEY – They had a year other studios can only dream of. Not only that, most of their films which cleaned-up at the box office actually deserved to, such as Zootopia, Finding Dory, The Jungle Book, Captain America: Civil War, Moana and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Even some of their non-hits, such as The BFG, Pete's Dragon and Queen of Katwe, were creatively successful.

THE BEST BLU-RAYS WE REVIEWED IN 2016 – Taxi Driver 40^th Anniversary Edition, Zootopia, High Noon – Olive Signature, The Quiet Man – Olive Signature, The Mermaid, The Big Short, Call of Heroes, The Revenant, Hell or High Water, Don't Breathe, Florence Foster Jenkins, 13 Hours, The Jungle Book.

WHAT MADE US HISS:

BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN – As someone who hated Man of Steel enough to begin questioning director Zack Snyder's narrative abilities, I avoided this over-hyped film as long as I could until the STILL-RAGING fanboy debates forced me to give in. Sitting through the supposedly better “Ultimate Edition,” all I can say is...God, what a mess. While there's a train-wreck quality that makes this bloated epic morbidly fascinating, it spends more time setting up the upcoming Justice League movie than it's own incomprehensible story. This might be the longest movie trailer in history.

STILL, THIS MOVIE WAS WORSE - 

SEQUELS AND FRANCHISES FEEL SOME BUTTHURT – Man, a lot of supposed tentpoles really collapsed this year, didn't they? Here's a few which either underperformed at the box office or screwed the pooch altogether: Ghostbusters, Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, Alice Through the Looking Glass; The Divergent Series: Allegiant, Independence Day: Resurgence, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Zoolander 2, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising; Star Trek Beyond, Bad Santa 2, Inferno, Ice Age: Collision Course, The Huntsman: Winter's War, Barbershop: The Next Cut. 

"Female heroes??? Not on my watch!"

DEAR TROLLS & FANBOYS – Disney does not pay critics for good reviews; There is no critical conspiracy against DC; Rotten Tomatoes does not review movies themselves; People shouldn't have to be familiar with a comic book to enjoy a movie; Movies and comics are two different mediums; Girls did not ruin Ghostbusters; There is no feminist agenda; There is no gay agenda; It's okay to cast actors in Star Wars and Bond movies who aren't white; You make up less than 5% of all moviegoers; Opposing opinions are not wrong; Your opinions are not facts; You have no personal stake in whether or not a film is critically or financially successful; A bad review of a movie you love is not a personal attack. If a remake, reboot or sequel offends you, get some hobbies and shut the fuck up.

FUCK YOU, 2016 – There have probably been other years in which an abnormally high number of beloved icons have passed away, but in the digital age, we hear about all of them within minutes, making 2016 an especially sobering reminder of our mortality. At any rate, rest in peace Vilmos Zsigmond, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Glenn Frey, Jimmy Bain, Abe Vigoda, Joe Alaskey, George Gaines, Douglas Slocombe, Tony Burton, Patty Duke, George Kennedy, Harper Lee, Nancy Reagan, George Martin, Keith Emerson, Larry Drake, Ken Howard, Garry Shandling, Merle Haggard, Doris Roberts, Guy Hamilton, Chyna, Prince, William Schallert, Alan Young, Nick Menza, Gordie Howe, Anton Yelchin, Michael Herr, Michael Cimino, Bud Spencer, Garry Marshall, David Huddleston, Kenny Baker, Angus Scrimm, Arthur Hiller, Steven Hill, Gene Wilder, Jon Polito, Hugh O'Brian, Curtis Hanson, Bill Nunn, Arnold Palmer, Herschell Gordon Lewis, Andrzej Wajda, Michael Massee, Bobby Vee, Robert Vaughn, Leon Russell, Florence Henderson, Ron Glass, Greg Lake, John Glenn, Bernard Fox, Alan Thicke, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Peter Vaughn, Michele Morgan, Richard Adams, George Michael, Rick Parfitt, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, William Christopher. 

THE WORST BLU-RAYS WE REVIEWED IN 2016 – Neighbors 2, The Neon Demon, Estranged, Daddy's Home, My Summer Story, Ride Along 2, Bigfoot vs. Zombies, The 5th Wave, Precious Cargo, The Levenger Tapes, The Boss, Equals